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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Biggest asshole alive

116 replies

Staytrue05 · 15/07/2022 01:45

I’m really upset
i posted a week ago about me and my boyfriend

we had a huge massive row and he broke up with me and blocked me from fb etc
always the same old stort
anyway we spoke and we discussed some issues and he said on the week I’ve got my kids he wants to start going out with his friends for a beer etc
and feels like why should I sit in and miss out because u got your kids every other week
he said why should I suffer for your mistake
ok abit harsh words but I accepted it
he said I’m a man I need to go out for beers with my friends
when you have your week without the kids I’ll take u out and won’t leave u at home alone and when u got the kids I’m gonna go out for some beers with my friend
i just accepted it and said ok
since that we’ve been really good
ive seen the old spark return from his side
and it’s been like the honeymoon period all over again
than today I’m still blocked on his fb he never unblocked me since we fighted
and I saw him uploading a story showing off topless
and yes I felt jealous because he has 5k friends loads girls on there
he use to be a player and he use to say I won’t post stories cos so many girls heart my story it’s not fair on u (his words what bitches they are)

anyway I confronted him about it today which went Pete tong
he went mental it’s my fb it’s not your business what I post and who ever is spying for u tell them to f off
he said I don’t care about girls hearting my story
and I said well I do care
and he said it’s my fb shut up
it turnt really nasty
he said I was getting good with u again but u ruin it
u don’t give me my space I don’t know if I want u

i said I accepted u want to go out with mates and things tho I’m not allowed to go out partying with girls cos I’m a women and it’s not the same in his eyes

and I said so I got to accept u showing off to and girls all hearting your story
no I have my limits too I’m not a walk over

he said shut up
i don’t care
its my fb I post what I want
he told me to apologize for ruining his night

i told him once I posted a story of me and my friend after not seeing her for years and u didn’t like it
and had to post stories after to get 1 up on me

he said u was showing off blah blah blah
and I said well least I said sorry and removed it
not like u telling me it’s not my business and being unreasonable

than he said he’s going out if I want to coke for a beer
and of course I do as he says
he was quiet the whole time we was out
as always there’s always girls he been with where ever we go but I turn a blind eye to it

than on the way home he said shall we get a pizza and I said no I want to keep my figure in good shape cos I’m really self conscious about putting weight on I use to suffer with being under weight and I’m still scared to go up but that’s another story

and he turns round and says yes it’s better because your gonna be single soon and u will need that small body for men to fuck u because that’s all there want u for is for your body cos no one will love u like I used to
there just use u

i felt so upset
than he turnt the music up and it was James blunt goodbye my lover
and he was singing to it loud joking grabbing my face saying goodbye asshole and laughing
but I felt so sad like your just taking the piss out of me
and he thinks he’s so clever trying to grab my face saying goodbye asshole
and I snapped I went mental and told him to F off and he said omg u can’t take a joke
i said all u do is make me feel shit about myself

he was saying I’m joking take a joke
omg can’t joke with u now
than was laughing saying u changed me
cos a few months ago I text a male friend I’ve known for years
asking for advice why my boyfriend treats me bad at times
and I deleted the conversation cos I was scared he see me moaning
and than 1 day he bumped into my friend and he told him I text him moaning
which basically caused me a huge headache
man’s my boyfriend can’t get over it
and brings it up every time we argue
says I cheated on him cos I text a friend who’s a man about him n hid the textes
and says I changed him

but it’s ok to have a women round your shop for a coffee who tried to kiss u
oh But that’s ok cos it was at the beginning
or the time I waited for him to come mine before I moved in with him and he stayed out till 8am fucked off his head while I sat up waiting

and once I had a line with his friends I know please don’t bash me for it
but I went in the toilet with his friends who we was with while he was walking my friend to the car to get her bags n get a taxi
yet I still get grilled for that to this day
how dare u go with 2 guys without me
u look a whore
i only known him 3 weeks
but again that’s wrong
but a women coming for a coffee to your shop cos u said ok on the phone after knowing me for 3 weeks n trying to snog u
thats ok

anyway
when we got home today he said I’m only joking
if u get down on your knees and show me how much u love me I’ll forgive
I didn’t want to
but went down for him to keep him happy

im thinking to pack my bags tomorrow and go while he’s at work

i just want reassurance I’m doing the right thing
or does he have points to be angry at me and I am to blame for his behavior

OP posts:
TooTiredToSleepRightNow · 15/07/2022 11:09

FGS please keep him away from your children at the very least.

TooTiredToSleepRightNow · 15/07/2022 11:12

What do you mean ‘nothing is shown infront of the kids?’ Kids aren’t stupid and this guy doesn’t sound subtle. You’re probably so used to some of the disrespect he shows you that you think you’re doing a good job of hiding it when in reality you are both modelling poor behaviour and your kids will learn that it’s ok to be disrespected or disrespect their mother/women.

bathbombaholic · 15/07/2022 11:13

This man is abusive. You absolutely need to pack your things and leave. Report him to the police for controlling and emotional abuse and get some support from womens aid. From what you've said it sounds like he won't be letting you go very easily so be prepared for that and don't fall for any more of his bs

Beefcurtains79 · 15/07/2022 11:18

How pathetic you both sound, I know more mature 9 year olds.

billy1966 · 15/07/2022 11:19

Beefcurtains79 · 15/07/2022 11:04

Arevyiu really this desperate for a man you’ll put up with this? Good god I’m cringing in shame for you.
Get some pride, if not for yourself then think of your kids.

Your poor children.

Of course they will know their mother hasn't an ounce of self respect being in suchba relationship.

So sad.

NotMushroomInEre · 15/07/2022 11:34

I couldn't read beyond James Blunt, and you are right, he is taking the piss out of you. What's worse is he is abusive, sadistic and sounds narcissistic.

I would never treat anyone like this, and I would not allow anyone to treat me this way.

If you want a happy life for yourself and your children, you need to get out of this 'relationship' now, and realise you are worth more.

There is only one person who decides whether you are worth more though, and that is you.

Ethelfromnumber73 · 15/07/2022 11:36

What the hell did I just read?

Don't you ever crave a bit of peace and headspace OP? Sounds like this 'man' is just bringing a load of anxiety and drama into your life. He's really horrible to you, why do you want to be with him? You deserve far better then this and being single would be a million times better than any of this. Just get rid.

Horriblewoman · 15/07/2022 11:40

You have two children so I'm going to make a wild assumption that you're older than a teenager.

This is an awruo

Horriblewoman · 15/07/2022 11:41

This is an awful relationship, he is an awful man, you are not painting yourself in a good light either.

Work on your self respect.

GCAcademic · 15/07/2022 11:42

which I don’t mind I’ll rather go out with him anyway

oh well, crack on then, love. Nothing more we can waste our time saying, is there, if your standards are that low?

BoopTheFoof · 15/07/2022 11:42

Staytrue05 · 15/07/2022 10:55

My kids are not his just so I note
my kids I don’t have them full time they are split between me and there dad 1 week me 1 week him

and no I don’t expose my kids to any immature behavior
there happy and actually like him because nothing is shown infront of them

So you have to hide your 'normal' behaviour from your kids???
Yeah that's not rght. When do they see him then if he's off having his week of manly stuff? They pick p on the fact you are being a part time lover to your dick of a partner who doesn't want to see your mistakes
Get a fucking grip

BoopTheFoof · 15/07/2022 11:45

Hang on, does he cocklodge at yours too?

Iwantachange · 15/07/2022 11:58

Your poor children...
Even if they don't witness him humiliating you and disrespecting (which is a wild if, cause I don't doubt for a second he isn't doing it when he is present)...
His ideas of what men and women should do are definitely gonna rub off on the kids and is this really how u want them to grow up and think?

Like omg find a tiny bit of self respect...
You have been treated like shit and then told to get on your knees and give him a blowjob and you fucking do it and wonder whether you are in the wrong?

Have u had a shitty childhood or been abused or something? Cause this is not it a normal reaction to being treated like this.

yellowsmileyface · 15/07/2022 12:07

hes old fashioned

That's just a polite way of saying he's a misogynist who thinks all women are beneath him.

Do you really want to be with someone who has no respect for you?

This man is abusive. He enjoys humiliating you and treating you like shit.

Set a good example for your children and leave him.

RedBonnet · 15/07/2022 12:12

He sounds like Raoul Moat and look what happened to his (ex) gf. Also Tina Nash whose eyes were gouged out. Read her book (out of the darkness). Sounds like your bf, but, like Tina and Sam, you will ignore the signs

JennyForeigner · 15/07/2022 12:25

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

JennyForeigner · 15/07/2022 12:27

Ok I just read down to the last paragraph. He is a vile abusive man and you need to get him out of your children's and your life.

jojogoesbust · 15/07/2022 12:32

You both sound about 12 years old tbh. But yes leave the abusive knob for your children's sake if not your own..

Aquamarine1029 · 15/07/2022 12:35

Your standards are on the floor.

layladomino · 15/07/2022 12:37

Why do you care what this vile man thinks?

He doesn't like your children. He doesn't want to be with them. He thinks they were a mistake. He is sexist, immature, selfish, he doesn't respect you, he treats you appallingly. Why do you want to be with him? Why do you want to subject your children to him? To a man who thinks they are a mistake?

Don't you want to be in a relationship with someone who adores you, who cares for you and your children, and supports you, respects you and loves you? Because you will never get those things from this man.

PastMyBestBeforeDate · 15/07/2022 12:39

He's a nasty piece of work and the only person he loves is himself. Do pack your bags and go and book yourself an appointment for STI tests because he doesn't sound like the sort to pass up opportunity.

ispepsiokay · 15/07/2022 12:47

Your poor children, hopefully they have a better role model in their dad.

AnyFucker · 15/07/2022 12:48

I despair…

ToastedWaffle · 15/07/2022 12:49

Good lawd!!

What the hell have I just read? Ditch this cunt ASAP OP. He is not good partner material. Also is he 12?

lisavanderpumpscloset · 15/07/2022 12:57

Fuck me. Pls grow up and let him go. Get rid. He's no good. How can you not see it?!