What would I get if we divorced ?

Ihaveaquestionn · 2022-07-14T19:34:08+00:00

Married 5 years 4yo DD I haven’t worked since she’s been born due to major PND (hospitalised twice) which I’ve never really recovered from He earns over £200k a year, has a great pension etc friends are saying I’d be entitled to half his pension - is that really true? For how long?

rwalker · 14/07/2022 20:49

Short marriage so that would be taken into consideration .
But in all honestly sounds a bit grabby to think you can waltz off with 1/2 after 5 years

AnneLovesGilbert · 14/07/2022 20:50

You need to see a lawyer. Are you well again now? Were you working before having DD?

5zeds · 14/07/2022 20:56

Half of everything you both own now, and a small amount each month to help feed and clothe your child. Realistically this will mean moving into rented accommodation and finding a job. Once you’ve worked for a few years you might still have enough left from the sale of your house to buy a home with a mortgage.

Original poster

Ihaveaquestionn · 14/07/2022 20:56

AnneLovesGilbert · 14/07/2022 20:50

You need to see a lawyer. Are you well again now? Were you working before having DD?

I’m not well enough to work - the PND destroyed me to be honest. I’m asking re pension because we decided a few years ago to put a relatively high % of DHs earnings into his pension instead of savings or property which as far as I’m aware would be split in the event of divorce

Also to the other poster - I’m not grabby, I’m scared for my future.

I paid quite a big deposit on a house that we sold to buy our current one, so I have contributed significantly to our situation in that sense

OP posts:

Original poster

Ihaveaquestionn · 14/07/2022 21:00

5zeds · 14/07/2022 20:56

Half of everything you both own now, and a small amount each month to help feed and clothe your child. Realistically this will mean moving into rented accommodation and finding a job. Once you’ve worked for a few years you might still have enough left from the sale of your house to buy a home with a mortgage.

i will potentially inherit around £500k while we are still married - would he get half of that?

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Heartcare · 14/07/2022 21:19

Probably not, that's a fairly short marriage. What did you bring to the marriage? How much of his pension has been added since you've been married?

Pickle991 · 14/07/2022 21:21

Inheritance could be split if you mix it with matrimonial funds. If you keep it separate it could be argued it’s separate property but the judge does have discretion to split it, if it gets that far.

you may well get a pension sharing arrangement/order but it won’t necessarily be half.

katieak · 14/07/2022 21:21

Half of the pension paid in during the marriage but probably not anything before given it's a short marriage. A reasonable amount of maintenance if you can't work and have a young child. What equity do you have in your home and any other savings?

Soontobe60 · 14/07/2022 21:24

Ihaveaquestionn · 14/07/2022 21:00

i will potentially inherit around £500k while we are still married - would he get half of that?

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If you’re expecting half of everything he has, then he should have half of everything you have.

Pickle991 · 14/07/2022 21:26

5 years is a relatively short marriage but any period beforehand of seamless cohabitation will also be taken into account.

Original poster

Ihaveaquestionn · 14/07/2022 21:34

Soontobe60 · 14/07/2022 21:24

If you’re expecting half of everything he has, then he should have half of everything you have.

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That’s my question - I’m not saying I don’t think he should

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MrszClaus · 14/07/2022 21:36

Might be missing the point, if you're expecting 500k - couldn't you use that to buy somewhere to live and then use maintenance payments / benefits (related to your inability to work due to a health condition) to live on?

JemimaPuddleducksWaddle · 14/07/2022 21:37

You are extremely unlikely to get half his pension on a 5 year marriage.

knackeredagain · 14/07/2022 21:40

I think you need to take proper legal advice rather than asking on here. It’s not as simple as a 50/50 split. The first priority will be housing and providing for your child.

Have you discussed divorce with your husband? Do you know what his expectation is likely to be?

Bananarama21 · 14/07/2022 21:44

Courts will expect you get a job or benefits if your unable to work. They will look at what's was brought into the marriage. You had a short marriage so won't get spousal maintenance, and you won't be entitled to half of his pension a portion yes but unlikely half. You would be entitled to child maintenance.

Original poster

Ihaveaquestionn · 14/07/2022 22:26

MrszClaus · 14/07/2022 21:36

Might be missing the point, if you're expecting 500k - couldn't you use that to buy somewhere to live and then use maintenance payments / benefits (related to your inability to work due to a health condition) to live on?

Yes that would be the scenario if We did divorce so I’m just thinking about whether I need to ringfence my inheritance

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Original poster

Ihaveaquestionn · 14/07/2022 22:27

Sorry If my thread is unclear. I have left out some info to protect my privacy

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HowlongWillThisTakeNow · 14/07/2022 22:47

so I’m just thinking about whether I need to ringfence my inheritance
So you want 1/2 his pension after 5 years, but want to ring fence your 500k inheritance, that’s hardly seems fair at 1st glance

Original poster

Ihaveaquestionn · 14/07/2022 22:51

HowlongWillThisTakeNow · 14/07/2022 22:47

so I’m just thinking about whether I need to ringfence my inheritance
So you want 1/2 his pension after 5 years, but want to ring fence your 500k inheritance, that’s hardly seems fair at 1st glance

No I don’t want half his pension. I said my friends said that would happen… so I wondered if that’s true. And that got me thinking… would that mean he’s entitled to half my inheritance etc… i don’t know much about any of this so I was just asking questions one at a time as opposed to putting all the context in my original post. I would want to protect myself Financially for the future because I have a daughter that’s all

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coodawoodashooda · 14/07/2022 22:51

Be prepared for him to hide 99 per cent of it. That's what happened to me.

GCHeretic · 14/07/2022 22:54

Ihaveaquestionn · 14/07/2022 21:00

i will potentially inherit around £500k while we are still married - would he get half of that?

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He’s as entitled to that as you are to his future earnings or pension.

You need proper legal advice, but from the little posted so far you seem to be expecting quite a lot more out than you have ever contributed.

Mia85 · 14/07/2022 22:56

Please get legal advice on your position. No qualified lawyer would give a view on the information you can post online. The views of posters can tell you what they think is fair but not your legal position.

GCHeretic · 14/07/2022 22:57

Ihaveaquestionn · 14/07/2022 22:51

No I don’t want half his pension. I said my friends said that would happen… so I wondered if that’s true. And that got me thinking… would that mean he’s entitled to half my inheritance etc… i don’t know much about any of this so I was just asking questions one at a time as opposed to putting all the context in my original post. I would want to protect myself Financially for the future because I have a daughter that’s all

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You have a daughter, or you and he have a daughter together?

If you have mental health issues, he is in a more secure position, and there’s not more to the story is it not quite likely that it would be shared custody, or if not that then he would be the resident parent?

Pickle991 · 14/07/2022 22:57

Ultimately you’ll get whatever you decide between the two of you unless you want to take it all the way to a final hearing, or the consent order you come up with is so manifestly unfair to one party the court refuses to approve it.

Standard child maintenance is separate far as I know

Summersolargirl · 14/07/2022 22:57

op with such a short marriage you will leave the marriage with what you brought to it and half what came when you were married. Ie house equity in that four years. Inheritance won’t be included.

so no you won’t get any of his pension.