What would I get if we divorced ?

[Ihaveaquestionn]

Married 5 years
4yo DD
I haven’t worked since she’s been born due to major PND (hospitalised twice) which I’ve never really recovered from
He earns over £200k a year, has a great pension etc
friends are saying I’d be entitled to half his pension - is that really true? For how long?

You need to speak with a solicitor OP. There are very few posters on here who have the knowledge to help you (despite what they'd have you believe) and you're just going to attract a load of judgy people as proven by the very first response calling you "grabby" 🙄

You need to see a professional and give them a proper overview of your family finances.

Trust me I’m not! I’ve tried to be vague for obvious reasons. I’ve simply asked questions mainly related to his pension. I personally put a huge deposit on the house we live in which means he has been able to contribute a much higher % to his pension and share scheme than most people could dream of and this will likely continue while we are in this situation so I am interested in what happens in the event that we divorce.

This, I hate the whats yours is mine, what's mine is mine mentality!

I personally put a huge deposit on the house we live in which means he has been able to contribute a much higher % to his pension and share scheme

Exactly the kind of details that PPs don't consider in their haste to bash someone for entertainment.

You're receiving some bad advice on here even from some well intentioned posters.

Are you on the deeds for the house? I'd photocopy/screenshot any documents or conversations you can find showing in regards to your deposit contribution and also the joint agreement to put extra into the pension as savings for you both. I think this could potentially change the amount of his pension you're entitled to as you were effectively using it to save jointly. In future I'd be looking to put any savings into a joint savings account or half and half into each of your pensions

You of course should ask a lawyer. But even when you do ask - they won’t tell you exactly - mine, for example gave me a range of possible outcomes.

But generally - it will depend if you are breaking up on good terms and can actually negotiate. If he respects your previous agreement - re deposit; savings; pension - you may be able to negotiate a fair division.
It doesn’t happen often, but it is possible.

If you end up in court - a large sum will be spent on lawyers. And then there is a range of outcomes as it’ll depend on the judge to some extent.
But yes - as others said - in short marriages you generally don’t get a share of pension, or maintenance.
Your bigger deposit - if there is paper trail - can be taken into account and you could get a larger share of the house proceeds.

As to inheritance. Best way to ringfence it is to set up a trust and have it go directly into it. Trusts aren’t considered marital assets for the purposes of divorce. So it will be safe there.

There are too many variables to really give any meaningful advice. If he's been paying in to a pension for 15 years and has say, 200k but only 25k of that was paid in during the marriage, expecting 100k wouldn't be a fair. Presumably you were capable of building your own pension until you stopped working.

I think you need to start looking at what you need to move on and how you can achieve that fairly. The only person who can really help you figure out what is fair is a solicitor who has all of the financial details in front of them. Reaching an amicable solution is better than dragging things out for years and ending up in court.

To be frank, so what ? In a earlier post the OP stated this.

I paid quite a big deposit on a house that we sold to buy our current one,

i know plenty of men who had got divorced and who had paid most of the money towards the martial home and walked with less than 50% of the assets,
why should this Poster be any different, why should she automatically get more of the assets just because she paid in more to a previous house, that not how it works for most people, also the financial arrangements of the couple to do with the pension contributions shouldn’t really matter.
the divorce should be based on a fair split of the martial assets and future needs, it does at 1sr reading sound a bit like the poster really expects to get most of the assets and half his pension and child maintenance and keep all her inheritance as well, where is the fairness in that?, what does the bloke get, fuck all by the sounds of it.
so yeah I’m not totally surprised as some of the responses.

I’ve never mentioned child maintenance. My personal preference would be to get back the deposit I put into our house, split the rest, keep my inheritance and forget the pension. But you can’t tell that from my posts because this is an Internet forum not an actual conversation with a human being

Its a short marriage. You won't get half his pension. You would get half of the house or more if you will be the main carer for he child. If you didn't ring fenced your deposit, you won't get that back. The inheritance is your and usually won't be counted except for the fact that you would be able to house yourself.

Child maintenance is a key factor and worth considering.

With such a short marriage you realistically would only be entitled to what you personally brought into the marriage and half of anything accumulated jointly during the marriage (this would include your inheritance if you inherit while still married).
A claim on his pension is unlikely, 50% I would say you have no chance, more likely 50% of whatever has been accumulated in the last five years on his pension.

My personal preference would be to get back the deposit I put into our house, split the rest, keep my inheritance and forget the pension.

I don’t think this sounds unreasonable, but a court might not think it’s fair ( if it gets that far). And of course your DH might have other ideas, for example he might want half of the assets irrespective of who paid what, and you keep the inheritance, he might see that as fair , only you & him can thrash that out.

Inheritance isn't taken into account be the courts.

5+ isn't classed as a short marriage particularly if there was cohabitation before hand. 5 is the magic number here.

Courts start at 50/50 split. Yeh, might not be morally right, but you're married, everything legally is 50/50. Plus you have a dependent so the courts will need to see they are provided before equally well by each parent.

Mediation will sort your issues

*for

How long were you living together for before you married?

You need professional advice.

You're getting some crap advice here, OP, head to a solicitor.

See a lawyer. Get your crap straight. You want answers and such go and get them from someone who can actually give them.

stop spilling your purse to your friends. If you’re smart you’d keep your mouth shut and go see a lawyer. Then silently be taking action.

Pretend you’ve got it together. Go handle your shit. Don’t talk and show your hand. Play it like intelligent person who is about results and everything else is worthless..

Yup I’m being mean, but I’m kind because you’re wasting time here and not actually taking care of your concerns.

Inheritance isn't taken into account be the courts.

Not true. It doesn't deal with future inheritance, but it can with already obtained inheritance

You don’t just “get” half his pension automatically and have no choice in the matter as you seem to be putting it, you can choose (if possible) to go for half his pension just like he could choose (if possible) to go for half your inheritance (this is unlikely to be given).

Why are you so pro active in being able to ring fence your inheritance and yet when it comes to his pension there’s just nothing you seem to be able to do except get it if possible, after all your friends told you you should. That’s pure greed, 500 grand is more than enough for you to put aside without needing to try to go for his pension as well.

Who wanted the split. If you, this is truly appalling and entitled.

I know man who will lose 1/3 of his pension after 10 year's marriage and 2 DC. Also wife got about £100,000 over 1/2 value of house as she need 3 bedroom flat as the children were 50/50 and had their own rooms. She also got over £100,000 cash pay out and there are to be no further claims against the ex husband.

That is termed a very short marriage.

Just to add - the wife had not put any money into the purchase of the marital home.

What a lot of people fail to realise is that you can’t claim on his pension until you’re of a pensionable age yourself. It’s not money you get now.

I was told 50/50 is a starting point and negotiated from there depending on length of marriage, children, assets brought to and within the marriage, pre existing savings, pensions and assets and inheritances.

If I were you I’d want a reasonable settlement now from a marital home sale to house myself and my child, probably with a greater split in your favour to take into account your higher deposit and possibly that you’ll not have a 50-50 care agreement for the child, ringfence my forthcoming inheritance, agree child maintenance. For me when I was divorced it was more important that I had a reasonable amount of money now to raise our children, rather than money from his pension in 25 years when my children are grown and left.

But I’m not a lawyer.