Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

What would I get if we divorced ?

63 replies

Ihaveaquestionn · 14/07/2022 20:34

Married 5 years
4yo DD
I haven’t worked since she’s been born due to major PND (hospitalised twice) which I’ve never really recovered from
He earns over £200k a year, has a great pension etc
friends are saying I’d be entitled to half his pension - is that really true? For how long?

OP posts:
Whataretheodds · 15/07/2022 12:39

Summersolargirl · 14/07/2022 22:57

op with such a short marriage you will leave the marriage with what you brought to it and half what came when you were married. Ie house equity in that four years. Inheritance won’t be included.

so no you won’t get any of his pension.

Unlikely given they have a child, esp if OP is main carer.

OP how long were you together before marriage?

You really need legal advice.

cottagegardenflower · 15/07/2022 12:41

He would be entitled to half your inheritance so divorce him quickly. He may not get all of that half, but it would definitely be a consideration in the marital pot stakes. you can't ringfence it unilaterally.
short marriage so basically 50/50 on house + reasonable child maintenance + a percentage of his pension. You can't have any of his pension accrued after the divorce if you want a clean break, which is what is the norm.

Original poster
Ihaveaquestionn · 15/07/2022 13:29

Sarahthecactus · 15/07/2022 12:24

You don’t just “get” half his pension automatically and have no choice in the matter as you seem to be putting it, you can choose (if possible) to go for half his pension just like he could choose (if possible) to go for half your inheritance (this is unlikely to be given).

Why are you so pro active in being able to ring fence your inheritance and yet when it comes to his pension there’s just nothing you seem to be able to do except get it if possible, after all your friends told you you should. That’s pure greed, 500 grand is more than enough for you to put aside without needing to try to go for his pension as well.

Who wanted the split. If you, this is truly appalling and entitled.

It’s is me who wants the split. You know why? Because among other things he has been cheating on me. Including during the time I was hospitalised with my baby for severe PND. Hope that helps

OP posts:
crimsonlake · 15/07/2022 13:33

This is no place to ask such a question, you need proper legal advice.
When going through my divorce I used the government funded Wikivorce website. Lots of legal people visit that board and you can get lots of support there, they helped me an awful lot.

emlutomsmum · 15/07/2022 13:48

Was married for almost 21 years and it was my ex that took me to the cleaners over inheritance. Tried to grab my car too which my solicitor told him to back off (it's a ruddy new shape Micra that's got high mileage due to my commute).

With yours being a shorter marriage you do most certainly need legal advise especially with him being a high earner.

Hont1986 · 15/07/2022 14:09

You aren't going to get half his pension for such a short marriage, and with a young child they are going to be looking to make a clean break between you, so that could mean a higher share of the property in exchange for no ongoing financial ties (e.g. pension sharing).

JustKittenAround · 15/07/2022 14:36

Again.

see someone in a law office and keep very quiet if you know what’s good for you

you won’t get as much as you feel you should, but you WILL get rid of his ass in your space all the time.

JustKittenAround · 15/07/2022 14:36

*out not in

dammit lol

5zeds · 15/07/2022 14:39

Have you inherited already or are you expecting to? If it’s the latter I’d try to divorce before. Sorry it all sounds very hard. You sound brave and practical and these questions need to be asked so don’t let people put you off with their comments. You must get legal advice on your situation to make a good plan.

Original poster
Ihaveaquestionn · 15/07/2022 14:46

5zeds · 15/07/2022 14:39

Have you inherited already or are you expecting to? If it’s the latter I’d try to divorce before. Sorry it all sounds very hard. You sound brave and practical and these questions need to be asked so don’t let people put you off with their comments. You must get legal advice on your situation to make a good plan.

Thank you

OP posts:
RhymesWithAntelope · 16/07/2022 08:19

You need proper legal advice

Go and see a solicitor sooner rather than later so you know your options before you start the process

A bunch of randoms and a mate who says x or y really won't

RhymesWithAntelope · 16/07/2022 08:21

Dammit pressed send too soon

You need to be sure of your position with proper legal advice

It will be worth the investment in the solicitor's appointment to know where you stand

LilyMarshall · 16/07/2022 08:30

Ihaveaquestionn · 14/07/2022 20:34

Married 5 years
4yo DD
I haven’t worked since she’s been born due to major PND (hospitalised twice) which I’ve never really recovered from
He earns over £200k a year, has a great pension etc
friends are saying I’d be entitled to half his pension - is that really true? For how long?

A short marriage is five years or less. How ling until your 6th wedding anniversary?

and make an appointment with a specialist solicitor for a chat. You dont need to be thinking you need to act yet, but it helps to know what to expect.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page