What do you talk about if your in a long term relationship

[Dogmum40]

Hi everyone,

Could I ask opinions on what you actually chat about if you’ve been together long term?

My husband and I have been together 15 years and I think we’ve lost the art of communication, we run two businesses together and have no children so when we’ve finished work and sat down for dinner or go on date nights we just talk about business, we have a great relationship on the whole and we are definitely equals in everything we do but I just think we struggle to chat nowadays, we sat down for dinner last night and I told him I didn’t want to discuss the businesses but what followed was an awkward silence.

We don’t laugh or joke anymore either because I don’t think we no longer no how, we either discuss business or watch tv! If we go out with friends separately we do chat about that and what our friends are up to but that’s only every so often and for on about half an hour or so.

So how do you get the conversation back, and what do you all chat about, any ideas would be great!

My DH talks to me a lot about his work which involves different materials, particularly metal. He’s very, very passionate about corrosion… I don’t know what he’s talking about most of the time so tend to zone out.

We talk about DC a lot and also current affairs, particularly politics. Sometimes one of us will have a weird dream and will tell the other. He likes to discuss work colleagues sometimes but again, I don’t really have much interest so nod along but I’m usually not listening.

Nothing crazily exciting I guess but I’d say that’s fairly usual when you’ve been together for a long time.

We talk about anything & everything. We find humour in many things & laugh a lot.

Glad I’m not the only one 😩

Thank you everyone, I think ironically we a chat about how we communicate! We have tried to discuss politics, current affairs and the state of the economy but it all comes back to how if affects our businesses! We haven’t tracked for the last couple of years due to Covid but maybe we need to make time for something else and each other besides business which should give us something else to discuss! We are more like business partners rather than a married couple

We both read the same book (take turn choosing the book) & chat about that; politics; cook together (discuss new recipes); probably lots of chat about food; chat about neighbours (make up funny back stories if we see someone visit we don't recognise ); do wordle together; race each other to finish on same crosswords (have 2 books of crosswords which are the same) ask about each others day - work colleagues etc

Working together must make it harder. DH and I do very different jobs but with overlapping interests so talk about our days quite a bit and ask for opinions and advice about stuff.

I do a lot more pop culture/social media stuff than DH so often converstation is me saying 'did you hear about X? Or telling him something I've heard on the radio. We usually have a box set on the go so talk about what has happened/what might happen..

Both interested in news, politics etc so lots of that.

We do have kids as well so obviously that too.

We don't usually like the same books but will sometimes recommend something- or tell the other about what we're reading.

Books we’ve read. People we like. People we hate. Places we want to go. Places we’ve been. The children. Work. Politics.

But mostly we talk about (and on behalf of) the dog.

Should have said - together 20 years. We're both generally quite chatty though - might be annoying to somebody else!

At the moment all we seem to talk about is the house and finances as we're in the middle of selling and buying. We're quite boring at the moment... since I got home from work we've talked about:

• Him staying logged into work until 6
• His boss and his promotion
• Me picking up some bits for school fayre for Tuesday
• DS and the updates we've had from SiL who had him today
• What I've been upto at school today
• Our dog who has occasional incontinence issues (DH is adamant he's just being an arse, I think he's just an old man)
• World of Warcraft as that's what he's doing with his mates tonight
• if we can be bothered to go to the gym (short answer no)
• And about DS and schools as we need to make that decision after the summer.

Sorry, been together 10 years.

We spend a surprising amount of time talking about the cat 🤣

We talk politics, news, laugh about things that have happened, reminisce, talk about the kids, plans for the future, general stuff we've been up to.

Regular heated discussions about how much we'd give family and friends if we won the euromillions jackpot. We nearly fall out over that one! We don't play the lottery.

We take the piss out of each other a lot. Eg We're currently really skint so I suggested that he is going to have to become a naked butler. He said people would pay him to put more clothes on then we took turns shouting things out like "I'll give you a tenner to put a jumper on".

We are not mature people.

But at least I no longer chase him up the stairs only to have him turn round at the top and pretend he's spitting or vomiting on me so I guess that's growth. 🤣

Oh and he can't get undressed like a normal person. He does the world's most unsexy striptease for me. It's hilarious!

Forgot to say how long we've been married. 24 years.

We like...
Doing a crossword together
Both doing wordle but separately
Cooking together
Chatting about potential home improvements, possible holidays, the garden, where to go hiking next, what's in the news...

I think when we get to 24 years we will both be mute 😆

😆 if
youvr ever seen Big Bang theory my husband is sheldon, he folds everything whilst undressing, my clothes can get ripped off when we’re in the middle but his gets taken off nicely and folded 😆😆

Sorry for the spelling, clearly autocorrect doesn’t agree with spelling…

@Dogmum40

I totally understand where you're coming from.
I've been married for 26 years, we have children and grandchildren and we own a business that's based from home.
Our conversations are really dull.
They pretty much consist of business-related stuff and the family.

Our last conversation was about:

Lead generation software
Changing our business bank
Reminders to re-order paper and business cards
Renting a large car to take our daughter and all her stuff to university next month
A five minute conversation about the Conservative Leadership votes whilst watching SkyTV (husband is English)
A five minute conversation about the 9.1% inflation rate in the US (we live in the US)
What we want to eat for dinner (it's after 2pm here)
Discussing whose going to be brave enough to give the cat her eye-ointment (she has a blocked duct) and whose going to get scratched
Whether it's finally going to rain
Discussion over the training for a new inventory software we just bought

Riveting stuff!

I do miss chatting about films, books, travel, hobbies, etc...But the business really does take up a lot of headspace and leaves do little for anything else. I think it's time to carve time away from it and have more depth to our lives. At least go away to the movies or something else.

This is our conversations and not forgetting corp tax, self assessment and vat! I’m definitely working through these suggestions on here but I’m sure they will eventually turn back to business! It’s depressing isn’t it! 😭

We're retired now so around each other all the time. We both volunteer so we can take about that. We have an allotment and have 'collectable' cars ( they were old bangers we bought when we were younger but still have). So gardens and cars figure. We talk about telly, some news (if I prompt him). Children & grandchildren, holidays.

I've even taken to asking about some of the posta on mumsnet.

Some times we just sit together and that's fine.

Politics and current affairs, gardening, our animals, our travels and everything we do together (gym, swimming, walks). In addition to being partners, we’re best friends. Been together 14 years.

Anything and everything. We were friends first so knew we had a large overlap in interests before we started dating. Together for 20+ years and still never run out of conversation. His parents are the same too. In contrast I’m puzzled how mine got together, never mind are staying the distance 😂

Honestly, whatever shit pops into either of our heads.

Currently crying laughing thanks to pronouncing things funny because of the "how do you pronounce Tortoise" thread on here.

After 20 years you just have to talk about any old new shit.

Our family
Politics
Films
Our jobs
Our friends
What's for dinner
Travel

All kinds of things. That was today.