DH acting like a fourteen year old over sex

[Hotandtiredtoday]

In most respects, DH really is thoroughly decent, he is kind, thoughtful, generous. But over sex he acts like a silly kid and I find it so off putting.

He grabs at my breasts. He follows me around and if I try to get changed he wolf whistles or makes stupid noises. We are meant to be TTC and it’s making him worse than ever.

Does anyone else have this? I’m really getting fed up of it tbh.

Have you, yknow, actually spoken to him about this? Presumably this isn't new behaviour.

Have you tried saying 'Stop bloody assaulting me like a sex-mad Jack Russell'?

What have you said to him about it?

For him this is presumably fun sexy behaviour that will take some of the pressure off as you TTC and show that he sees you as very attractive.

Talk to him about what he's trying to achieve by doing this? Tell him how you feel about it?

Yuk. Have you told him how it makes you feel?

You need to tell him you find his behaviour repellent and off putting.

You need to tell him that none of this turns you on. I really think men think women want to be "irresistible" to their male partners and end up with this sort of behaviour without realising it's the opposite of what you want.

Well you need to speak to him, surely?

My DH can be a bit like this although it doesn't really bother me most of the time. I have recently asked him to stop grabbing my bum as we walk up the stairs to our flat though, which he has.

Either you haven't told him. In which case, tell him.

Or you have. In which case tell him that it's assault and he needs to get his hands off you and stop being an arsehole .

Eew. I've got the ick and I've never met him... Maybe buy him some Lynx to complete the picture (and tell him exactly why)?

You need to tell him that his behaviour puts you off. Finding you attractive doesn't give him the right to grab at you.

Maybe rethink TTC if he keeps on. You probably won't want him groping you you post-partum.

If he's a sex pest in general, what's it going to be like with a newborn and the touched out thing mother's get gradually?

I wouldn't find being sexually assaulted very romantic tbh.

Has he always been like this?

STBXH was always groping me when I was trying to do something else (eg empty the dishwasher), and if I asked him not to be would sulk off saying "FINE, I'll NEVER touch you again then!"

Unsurprisingly, I was permanently on edge the whole time in my own home when he was around.

Behaving like a sex pest is never a turn on, it made me feel cheap and objectified. Men can be pretty clumsy, so talk to him about it and tell him how it makes you feel and how you’d prefer him to behave. His reaction to your request will tell you whether he respects your boundaries or not.

If he doesn’t respond well to talking about it, you’ve got bigger problems.

Talk to him. I'll never understand how posters end up talking to Mumsnet about their problems before they've even discussed it with their partners

Does anyone else have this?

No because I wouldn't have married someone who did this.

Is this usual or is he trying to lighten the mood when TTC

Either way, just tell him XYZ is unattractive and he needs to stop. Or is he ignoring that?

That's not the description of a thoroughly decent man.

He grabs at my breasts.

If you've said you don't like this, even once, and he's carried on doing it then this isn't someone you should be building a life with.

People who don't respect boundaries and do things that make you feel uncomfortable aren't suitable life partners.

Oh and when you've had a baby he'll be one of the men who are jealous they get less attention than before and / or thinks you should have sex again sooner than you're comfortable with.

Ugh.

DH really is thoroughly decent, he is kind, thoughtful, generous.

He isn't thoroughly decent though.

He grabs at my breasts. He follows me around and if I try to get changed he wolf whistles or makes stupid noises.

Again, if you've said you don't like any of this, even once, and he's kept doing it then he's not thoroughly decent and you aren't compatible.

Your husband is a pig. I continue to be amazed that men like him still exist. For fuck's sake, don't have this pig's baby. How can you possibly inflict this man on an innocent child?

Is he like this with other women - at work say?

Eugh - tell him. In fact show him this thread so he sees it's not just you. Women do not like this!!!