My husband works full time in a school, a part time policeman (special), multiple bands and a motorbike club.
the last month and a half he has been out pretty much most days. He did a show for 2 weeks solid (plus working at school mom-fri), police shifts every Friday night, gigs every Saturday night, motorbike ride every Sunday day. X 3 school trips which have stayed over night 1-3 days. A 3rd show last week which lasted 3 nights. Rehearsals on an evening for both shows, plus a regular gig on a Tuesday evening which he does every week.
Does he have some sort of warped Saviour Complex?
Teaching the little children, shepherding the flock, keeping mankind safe, sharing the miracle of him with a wider audience via multiple shows and gigs. And tops it off with a dollop of machismo on his motorbike on a Sunday. Is it a 'Harley-Davidson' and he a God's Angel?
And to round it all off and 'keep it normal' he has a wife and three children at home. It must surely be quite an honour, and a squeeze, when both he and his ego are at home.
Oh, and psychiatrist too, with his pronouncements that 'You're not right in head'.
He sounds ridiculous but of course none of it a laughing matter and it is affecting your lives.
You're not right in the head would be the final straw for me. It all sounds abusive; treating you like a servant and not as an equal with your own needs.
He belittles your needs and insults you with with his words and actions. Pacifies you with the occasional bit of support.
Perhaps your first child was not unplanned on his part. A child will keep a partner reliant and trapped. Two more would seal the deal and he'd be onboard with the decision. Then he revises history. It's convenient how it's now you who wanted children as if he had no say in the matter.
Sometimes we just can't see the reality of our situation until the day we begin to.
So ignore PPs asking why you had three children, blah, blah, blah. Narrow-minded, judgemental and not helpful at all at this point. No, the question doesn't have to be asked.