Broke her to pieces..

[Swyna]

Well first of all, this new for me, being online and talking my thoughts.

Me and my gf have been together over 5 years, have 2 perfect kids and so far arguments are basicly zero or minimum. Till now, when I literally acted like a total moron.

We were at huge party what we were looking forward to for long time.. as usual, she’s was with her friends and me with mine.

All went wrong after I chose to open new bottle of rum.. yeah bad idea thinking now..

Well party went on and i got drunk as f. In some point i saw her dancing with a guy(who i know) and literally he’s no threat at all. Well on that point i got sooo jealous, don’t know why or was it alcohol speaking. I screamed in front of her friends and ofc no doubt humiliated her.. for flirting(obviously she didn’t)

Went home and slept on it.. since i basicly blacked out last 2 hours Ofc she didn’t.

We talked it through her and my side of story. Ofc shes mad and every right to be.. She said that she’s broken like never before.. Now i’m here looking for answers how the heck i’m gonna fix it.. She said, she loves me and feelings hasn’t changed, but something has and don’t know if and when it will be back to normal..

We still sleep in same bed, kisses me back if i do and ofc she’s chating with her friends 24/7 since she needs time. A break from me i guess.. I’m doing everything to fix it, being sweet in every way, taking kids so she could do what she needs to.

It’s been like this about 5 days. Being distant, thinking over and over and asking what happened. She said that acting front of other people like we’re alright but actually we’re not.

It’s killing inside like hell…trying to be best bf and father, but how long i can hold on to that bleeding inside while trying to fix it, if she’s cold. Not totaly but annoyingly

What do you expect? You got drunk and made a monumental show. You accused her of something she wasn't guilty of and you expect her to go back to how it was?
Jealousy is a disgusting trait and it tears people apart.

She's probably mad at you for acting like a tit in front of everyone when she didn't do anything. I would be too. Give her some space and time to think about if she wants to be with you without smothering her.

What does "Not totally but annoyingly" mean?
What you see as her "coldness" sounds like an understandable reaction to you behaving like a complete wanker with no respect for her.
You interpreting that reaction as "coldness" and feeling annoyed that she can't just switch the love back on to full beam suggests you don't really see her as a human being, more like one of your favourite toys.

Your post is all about you. It’s been 5 days and the fact she hasn’t gone back to pretending nothing has happened is ‘annoying’ to you.

You sound immature, manipulative & entitled.

Not once have you used the word sorry - I would wonder whether you really have been the perfect partner you’ve painted yourself as til now or whether this is just the first time you’ve displayed this behaviour in front of an audience so you can’t deny it or sweep it under the carpet.

True that, I deserve everything.
It’s my own doing what i have to live with. Never been jealousy type. No idea what triggered it. Usually it was her, not that i gave her any point to be tho.
Only hope is time which might cure the damage i guess.

Your last line describes her as being "annoyingly cold"

Well tough. You made a tit of yourself and embarrassed her. You don't get to be annoyed by her understandable coldness.

Give your head a wobble and if you're lucky in time she may forgive you. Meantime you just suck it up and never, ever, do anything like this again.

I didn’t write the whole apology story here indeed. That’s between us.

I'd stop drinking as well. Sounds like you're a wanker after a drink.

This. This is not about the alcohol. You did this not alcohol.

Don’t you sound a delight?

taking YOUR children to give her a break makes it sound like you didn’t before - they are your fucking children stop acting like you need payment or a reward or appreciation for looking after them - you don’t. Because it is what you should have been doing in the first place.

you were and are abusive

I disagree that this isn't about alcohol, some perfectly nice people are nasty drunks, alcohol changes some people and affects them very negatively IMO. You need to tell her you'll be staying away from alcohol from now on and you need to mean it. It's time to grow up.

Well earlier today we talked, I apologized again and i did say i quit drinking. (Not that i do that all the time) i just can’t handle it as it seems.

What a banging load of drivel. IF it's even true she needs to leave you. You're only interested in how it affects you.

stop with the drivel, grow up IF this is true, which I actually doubt.

What's changed?

You've proven that you can't be trusted.

You've proven that she isn't safe with you.

You've proven that you think she's untrustworthy/promiscuous/whatever the hell you screamed at her.

You've proven that once you choose to give yourself the excuse to let your true feelings come out, you become abusive and aggressive towards her.

Alright. Seems here’s gonna be lots of misunderstanding. Since english isnt my main language i might mix thoughts and words but keep them coming :)

Being ‘sweet’ and ‘best bf/father material’ does not cancel out being an arse.

🎣 🌊

In front of her friends!! How humiliating!! Poor thing I bet she is dying inside.

You was defo in the wrong, it takes as long as it takes, she’s always going to look like a mug infront of her mates now!

I know that i am a arse by doing as i did

Your 'woe is me' attitude is not doing you any favours.

You're not the victim here. If you really need to navel-gaze then at least put it to good use and look at what you need to do to change your ways. Expecting a group of women to sort it for you is just plain bloody lazy.

Is she a MN'er herself?

She's disgusted in you. You humiliated her in front of her friends and accused her of inappropriate behaviour. You were, maybe are, and abusive, disgusting twat, and you have the fucking gall to call her annoying.

Sometimes the things you break can't be fixed.

You scared her. You're capable of venom and rage she didn't realise you had within you, and now she doesn't feel safe with you anymore. She's wondering when you'll snap again and whether you'll be violent next time.

MN'er?

Well i came her for advice but gettig hate. I know what i did, i dont need any that sencitive stuff. “Poor you” or something like that. I can handle myself

Clearly you can't handle yourself. You actually think you're the victim in all this.

im not the victim, i know that’s her..

I would have left you.