Do you believe in Law of Attraction/Manifesting?

[Livingwithobsession]

So, I am a woman with OCD, that relates to the above. I believe every bad thought or scenario I have will bypass logic and happen and manifest. I am in a loving relationship with my DP and I am constantly catastrophizing/worst case scenario thinking, which brings a strain on him, me and also us both together.

I love reading your threads and comments where you all basically talk sense into anyone posting - so I could really do with your thoughts on the subject above. Realism encouraged!

How about you constantly celebrate your good fortune and think of best case scenario instead?

I don't believe things magically come from the universe according to the energy you invest in imagining them.

I believe that you see opportunities, invest energy, pay attention to, the things you are looking out for.

And you'll be happier if you think happy thoughts, too!

I believe you get what you think about whether you want it or not. Luckily it’s not instantaneous!!

Not at all. Calling it a Law is giving woo credence it doesn't deserve!

I did until I realised what it meant. Similar to popular understanding and Western usages of karma.

It means that as a multiple sexual assault survivor, I am in some way to blame.

It means that as a multiple sexual rape survivor, I am in some way to blame.

It means I am in some way responsible for my father leaving me with my deeply abusive mother.

It means that I'm partially/fully responsible for the years of abuse I've received from my husband.

Because if I'd focussed on something else, that's what would have happened instead of these things.

Bad things happen. They do. But it's not because of laws of attraction. And if you're not convinced, then try and figure out what Ukrainians have done wrong to warrant what is happening there. Or Yemenis.

So I can't tell you bad things don't happen to help reduce your catastrophising but I can tell you that plenty of good things happen to people who do horrible things and focus on doing horrible things too. So it's got nothing to do with fairness/unfairness or any laws of attraction.

I find that catastrophising is a way to find control in an underlying situation in which I don't feel I have control. Trying to find something positive I can work on, have agency with or to problem-solve has helped me regain the feeling of control over my life and reduce the doom-laden thoughts.

Don't you think that if the power of positive thought actually caused good things to manifest, people in abject poverty, warzones etc might have caught onto it?

Or is this the sort of thing that only works for well off, quite suggestible people with too much time on their hands?

Iwouldn't normally post such a straight answer, but you mentioned you're seeking one, so here goes. I don't believe in anything that requires me to believe in it in order for it to exist. That's a slippery slope. I think this could have links with OCD for you, as an inherent part of OCD is holding a belief on a basis not shared by most others, i.e. in the absence of data that supports the belief. In the case of OCD, an example might be a brief that using matching pegs on the line keeps my family safe. If this was a widely understood phenomenon then most peyote would be doing this. Similar then to the bottom of manifesting or willing someone in to being. Why then would most people not be doing this? Is not supported by the evidence. Make good choices in line with your values and you'll be more likely to come across some nice people!

That can't be healthy.

I think you're wrong, but even to think like that would be very bad for your mental health.

Did you mean what you said? If you didn't, that is very cruel to the op.

Is it only bad thoughts or scenarios? Why? Why not good thoughts?

Why do you believe that by having bad thoughts you are going to somehow bring about the worst, thereby punishing yourself for having had those thoughts?

Because that's how OCD works - intrusive thoughts.

No I think it's utter bollocks. Well - that's what I'd robustly say to a poster whose belief in it did not stem from OCD.

But you asked for people to talk sense into you, so... Have all the bad thoughts you've had actually come true? Nope. So it's obviously not true, is it?

I don't have OCD, but I did have intrusive thoughts for a while during a period of post-natal anxiety. In the end I managed to get my head around the fact that thoughts aren't reality and that intrusive thoughts are just what happens when anxiety makes your warning system get over-active and trigger-happy. I got jnto the habit of telling it 'Yeah thanks for trying to keep me safe, warning system, but you're faulty- I'm fine and that was a false alarm!'

I appreciate it may take a lot more than that to fix OCD thoughts though!

I know that. I'm asking a reasonable question.

I was asking the OP if it was always negative thoughts. And if they were, I was also asking whether the OP had any idea why not positive thoughts too. Exploring ideas that way might be helpful.

I think about Chris Hemsworth an awful lot.

I manifest a life as a successful author but never actually write anything. Don’t think it’s gonna happen. Do you?

I am in a loving relationship with my DP and I am constantly catastrophizing/worst case scenario thinking, which brings a strain on him, me and also us both together

That's the OCD talking. I'm not familiar with CBT and how well it works for OCD, but have you tried that? Might be good for intrusive, disturbing thoughts which can be a type of OCD.

Other than posting on Mumsnet, what kinds of things are you doing to help your OCD? Have you been clinically diagnosed? If so, what has been recommended to you?

All great answers! Thank you. CBT is one of those things people always mention but admittedly I’ve never actually did it. I’ll give it a try.

@EarthSight I’m glad to hear it’s the OCD and definitely not intuition! Because it’s a constant for me and it’s exhausting. It started when I went to therapy and my therapist would make very subtle hints about how my overthinking and need for control and reassurance and compulsions was similar to a person with OCD. I’ve had the diagnosis but yet to hear what to do. I’m currently overseas for work and it’s just gotten a lot worse since.

Good grief, no! OP, did you have a difficult childhood? It sounds very much like you have internalised the idea that everything bad that happens is your fault. If you had an angry, critical or distant parent, that would be an obvious explanation. I highly suggest you get some therapy, it must be very difficult to live with this.

Sorry to hear that you're struggling with this, with not much help.

Definitely have a look at this -

www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/obsessive-compulsive-disorder-ocd/symptoms-of-ocd/#WhatIsPureO

CBT would tackle the OCD directly, but my impression is that OCD is also a symptom of general unease. A sign that you are not relaxed. I think it would be very beneficial for you to try and figure out what you could do to feel more relaxed generally, and it might have a positive knock-on effect on your OCD symptoms. If it's severe enough, you might benefit from medication.

Can you try any relaxation techniques? It sounds like it's maybe exacerbated by stress (the move to another country - and I'm guessing your job is demanding?)

I know how you feel as I used to have OCD and intrusive thoughts (I think brought on by stress at school and a parent dying) but what helped me was learning to embrace the fear and do it anyway IYKWIM? So if I had to flick the light switch 10 times before doing something I'd deliberately only do it 8 times to see what happened. Obviously nothing happened. Then I worked down until I wasn't doing it at all. I started to think of the unseen force that would make bad things happen as my enemy who I needed to fight and ultimately become stronger than "it" to show it couldn't control me as I was stronger than it. It sounds bonkers but it worked. I would imagine going "HAHAHA" in "it's" face when I did something out of my routine and nothing happened! I hope this makes sense, I know it sounds silly.

I still sometimes set myself tasks I have to do before doing something else, but it's more of a comfort thing - I don't let it take control any more.

I listen to Mooji on youtube, he is good at pointing at ways to empty your mind, to allow thoughts to come but not attach to them, he does a really good talk with Russell Brand about becoming aware of why we log in to some thought alot more than others, might be helpful for you.
Also mindfulness is useful for over thinkers, staying in the present is key as future thinking leads to anxiety and future thinking is only imagination, not factual.

I did! Alcoholic father so you’re bang on the money. I think this makes sense. I’m really bad at articulating my thoughts so sometimes thinking of the origin is a mix between “that’s too easy to blame being this way on” vs “it’s not a big deal.

I really appreciate this! Going to read when DP goes to bed. I was thinking that too, I hear so much about ERP which is exposure basically and I just don’t know how it could apply to the above with my magical thinking.

This is crazy! The light switch example was exactly what my therapist told me about me - she said how some actions (years ago) was exactly like someone with OCD who would do the light switch thing because they were scared if they didn’t, an airplane would crash and it basically related to whatever I was doing trying to avoid something completely unrelated, that’s when I realised how bad it was.

I was in my home country in the U.K. last week for an event and I felt MILES better - then I came back to where I am currently overseas and from day one, I just went back to square one with worst case scenario thinking! This is the worst it’s ever been. Do you have examples of relaxation techniques?

I think it's a tempting ideology because it makes you feel in control. But it's a very dangerous one because (a) we are limited as to what we can control in reality and (b) it blames us for the bad things in our lives. Ultimately it doesn't add up, it's magical thinking. I do believe a positive attitude helps us make the most of opportunities while a negative attitude can lead us to miss or squander them but that's the extent of it.

Thank you! I really need to start meditating more