Suspicious of DH

[Jumpingupoff]

DH suddenly liking the music of a particular female artist. Not a new current artist, someone from the 70s.

Telling me that a particular group of singers are going to be doing a gig locally. When I look at him blankly (because I can't stand their type of music) he says 'you know the (blank blanks) don't you?', I go 'yeah but why are you telling me? I don't like that music do I?!'. He looks away, confused.

The song 'love the one you're with' comes on the radio while driving. At the point that line is sung, he goes 'ha'.

Would you be suspicious?

...of what?

I think it's a shame you don't listen to him when he wants to talk about his interests, unless there's more you're not telling us.

Suspicious of what?! Why are you being so snappy towards him?

Think you need to explain more, you find his choice in music suspicious?

I think I get what you're saying, OP. My then husband insisted I'd seen a particular film when I knew I hadn't (couldn't stand the lead actress). He was either trying to gaslight me or was getting me mixed up with his girlfriend, or both.

Is there other stuff going on that's making you doubt things?

Suspicious of what- shagging Stevie Nicks?

i don’t think she’s being snappy? If my husband suggested something he knows I’m not into I would stare at him blankly as well!
if you feel something is off it probably is.

I had the same thought about whether it was gaslighting or getting me mixed up. He's not a vindictive person so unlikely to be gaslighting. I think he's getting me mixed up with someone else, which is worrying.

Is he showing any other signs, OP?

He likes a broad range of music but I noticed that he suddenly started playing this one particular artist quite a lot. It's not like this was a new artist he had never heard of before. This is an established artist he'd never shown any real interest in before.

I don’t stare blankly at my husband if he dares to mention something that is not to my taste. I think that is quite unnecessarily horrible.

I didn't snap at him and the blank look was because of my disbelief and confusion. I didn't look at him horribly. He was driving at the time anyway so looking ahead, not at me.

Oh go on tell us- is it Joni Mitchell??!carole King? Could it be because some of these these artists have had recent documentaries- so it's like an earworm for him??

He clearly likes this music and might of done back in the 70s too!

I don't see what your suspicious of or am I missing something

Tbh you sound jealous if the female singer

If this is all you’ve got to go on I feel sorry for the guy

I've recently discovered Wishbone Ash after my dad gave me some of his old records-been listening to the album 'Argus' non stop.

I dread to think what conclusions my DH has drawn from this.

Hang on.

So in conversation he mentions something about his hobby or interest and you think he didn't the wrong thing by bringing it up because you aren't interested?

Do you curtail all your chat to him based on stuff he is interested in?

Me too.

I probably haven't explained myself very well. It felt at the time as if he had somehow forgotten it was me in the car because the act he mentioned about gigging - he's no way into them either! He can't stand that music either. It was so random, what he said.

I think him turning away to look out of his side window was him realising his mistake actually.

How is that even possible though?

You were horrible to him, he was only talking to you about music he was newly enthusiastic about so when the song came to the line "love the one you're with" he was right to say "ha" since you were literally just being a dick to him.

OP I know exactly what you mean. Any other signs you're worried about?

Sorry if I wasn't clear (I am not a horrible person, honestly! obviously very bad at explaining myself). The three events were not at the same time.

He wasn't talking about the female artist's music. He just play a lot, suddenly.
When he mentioned the gig about the other singers, that was a separate time.
The song line where he went 'ha', this was a third separate time.

So you're concerned that he has an OW who likes the music he randomly mentioned, and that he mentioned it because he got your music tastes muddled up with hers, then realised his mistake and turned to look out of the window to hide the panic on his face? I can see where you are coming from OP. I mean, it could easily be totally innocent, but if your instincts are telling you otherwise you may have to do some digging to find out for sure.

I think I get it, OP. It's like third-party mentionitis, suddenly being into music or whatever that you haven't been into before, for no apparent reason. I remember doing this as a teenager, suddenly professing to be a fan of an artist just because someone I fancied was. Is that what you're concerned about?

Yes, it does sound dodgy. You know your DH best, you know when he is behaving out of character.

This is such a weird post, even by MN standards! Pretty sure his 'ha' to the song lyric was him reacting to you being rude and dismissive. Why look at him with disbelief because he mentioned something you might not like or didn't want to talk about? Do you only allow him to make conversation about topics you approve of? Do you never just talk about random stuff just for the hell of it??? As I say, weird.