Suspicious of DH

[Jumpingupoff]

DH suddenly liking the music of a particular female artist. Not a new current artist, someone from the 70s.

Telling me that a particular group of singers are going to be doing a gig locally. When I look at him blankly (because I can't stand their type of music) he says 'you know the (blank blanks) don't you?', I go 'yeah but why are you telling me? I don't like that music do I?!'. He looks away, confused.

The song 'love the one you're with' comes on the radio while driving. At the point that line is sung, he goes 'ha'.

Would you be suspicious?

I am having trouble understanding what is bothering you OP. Something doesn't feel right to you. Do you think he has met someone else who has influenced his current change in music taste?

Or perhaps there are other issues.

Apparently Kate Bush is No 1 in the charts a lot of people are suddenly liking her (again), is this cause for concern? She is from the 70s.

He's suddenly taken an interest in a 70s group so you think that he's having an affair with another woman and he thought he was talking to her instead of you? I think that's a lot of conclusions to jump to. Maybe he looked out of the side window because he tried to make conversation and you blanked him and he felt rejected? Just as likely.

Are you suggesting that someone else has put him onto this music, hence his sudden interest in it?

Ah yes- if it's Kate bush, her old track Running up that hill is number 1 as was used in a TV series.

I really can't for the life of me see what's suspicious here. I often rediscover bands or singers I already knew from decades ago. I might suddenly really get in to them, want to go to their gigs, buy their music etc. all despite the fact they've been around for years. This is perfectly normal. My mate has just sent me a link to a 90s band on YouTube, saying he's really getting in to them now. I didn't think there was anything weird about it!

You know him OP, and we don't. You obviously feel his words/behaviour were off-key to normal.

Telling me that a particular group of singers are going to be doing a gig locally. When I look at him blankly (because I can't stand their type of music) he says 'you know the (blank blanks) don't you?', I go 'yeah but why are you telling me? I don't like that music do I?!'. He looks away, confused.

Never mind the blank stare people are talking about, how rude were you to say 'why are you telling me' ?

Do you have conversation rules where only specific pre arranged subjects are allowed?

I absolutely get it op. Exh suddenly started to like bloody folk music and became interested in vegetarian cooking, both things he'd absolutely derided before. No surprise OW is a big fan of (terrible) folk music and is a vegetarian....

Has your dp been watching/ listening to a lot of the Glastonbury coverage? Has he just thought to himself 'this is great, I want to watch more live music?'

Re. The gig near where you live, maybe he was just making conversation about how this once big act who used to fill wembley are now playing local venues?

Unless there are other weird things going on I think he has just rekindled his love of music.

Taking the three examples together, something's not right.

No I think you’re adding 2+2 and making 5.

I regularly get obsessed with certain artists that I’ve not listened to in years or aren’t really my type.

If he was doing other things then it’s different but just listening to different music is either him just changing his taste or more of a mid-life crisis.

I was singing along to "love the one you're with" (if you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with)one day. DH got a bit upset, but I can honestly say that it didn't occur to me that it might upset him. But I have a habit of singing all sorts, very badly. Even songs that I think are atrocious, My Sharona by The Knack for example, but I don't sing the disgusting bits.
Sorry I'm waffling a bit there.

To conclude, if you think something is awry then you're probably right to look deeper and ask your DH.

You're explaining yourself prefectly OP. And you were horrible to him when he tried to talk to you about the gig.

Bit harsh. OP says it wasn't meant horribly so who is anyone to say 'oh yes you were'.
It's natural to be confused when your partner who knows you well suggests something they know you don't like. If mine told me caviar is going cheap at the supermarket I'd be like 'whaaat?! they on about' (hate the stuff).

Wait are you worried there's another woman or that he's losing his marbles?

Only you know him so maybe it all makes sense to you but to us it looks as of you were bloody rude and mean to him. now you can cover that up with 'oh I was so confused' but the result is that he was sharing a talking point with you, you not only shut him down you were rude about it.
If the artist is Kate bush she's number one in the charts because of a series called stranger things, on Netflix.
He could be enjoying any music from the 70:s for a purely nostalgia perspective. There's music I actually hated when I was young that now randomly I've heard again and quite enjoyed.
Personally I'd be apologizing for being such a bitch and join him in his new found musical hobby and see if you can find some common ground and conversation. (And if you are suspicious of a new.woman it's a good way to get the inside scoop) Or you know if you are genuine you could always ask him 'hey are you having an affair with a woman that likes this random seventies band?' and see how well that plays out.

I get where you are coming from OP.

It's a bit like when men start taking a much greater interest in their appearance all of a sudden..

I understand what you mean. One incident you'd think absolutely nothing of, but the 3 together is ringing some sort of alarm bell with you.

And I get completely why you'd say 'why are you telling me' about the gig. If my DP out of the blue suddenly announces a band he knows I don't like is playing a gig nearby. I'd be a bit the same. A sort of, Ok, why are you telling me that.

I too would probably think, how has he forgotten I don't like them? or has he got me mixed up with someone else who loves/loved that group!

Add in 2 other out of character things and I think my mind would start be wondering whats going on with this picture.

I know exactly what you mean. I'm currently sitting here looking at the ruins of a decade-long relationship and wondering how I'm going to cope now, but the first signs were a sudden almost obsessive interest in different kinds of music and the odd item of new clothing. Then the new phone, the overnight visits to 'friends' and so on and so on. Believe me, I get exactly what you're thinking about,,,

And to all those people pouring scorn on the original poster, let's just hope your partners doesn't suddenly discover a hitherto-unseen love for, say, noisecore or Joan Armatrading..

OP I understand where you're coming from. I had a bf that started doing similar things around me as well. I had known him years and suddenly he was interested in certain music, tv shows, etc that he would have never been interested in before. Found out he was chatting with someone he met online and those were HER interests. Hopefully that's not what's happening with your DP.

That’s so odd… I get that sudden change in behaviour can indicate there’s something else going on with your spouse, but the OPs husband hardly fits that description.

I talk to my DH on a regular basis about random crap that he has got no interests in. And vice versa.

Besides, it doesn’t make sense. Even if I was having an affair with someone who likes Metallica let’s say, last thing I’d be doing is chatting to my DH about heavy metal.

In my opinion your DH might be going through some sort of mid life crisis, trying to ‘redefine’ himself. I doubt there’s a OW, he's more likely questioning your marriage if anything.
And he might be onto something given your reaction! if your marriage is dead in the water, anything can trigger you. Even him commenting on a song lyrics.

Trust your instincts. I understand when something feels out of place somehow.

People accidentally give away information all the time.

Ridiculous. That's beyond a leap!

If it's Kate Bush has he watched Stranger Things recently by any chance