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Original poster

Is this weird? Would this put you off someone?

87 replies

Espressomartinih · 23/06/2022 10:13

So I've been dating a guy for the last 6 weeks, pretty casual, the sex is great and there is def chemistry there. Last night we were lying in bed and he got up to go get a drink, he put what I thought were his boxers on , when he came back, he asked if I liked his underwear and it was then I realised he was wearing my black undies! I was like wtf! It really creeped me out and I didn't like that he just lifted my underwear and put them on. That was bad enough but then we ordered a take away and he came out of the bedroom wearing my top which was of course far too small on him, he laughed about it and I just laughed it off and asked him to take it off.
What is going on? Is this his way of testing boundaries, is he a cross dresser? Or was he just trying to be funny? Now that I look back I notice that he would like me to leave underwear behind if I stayed over but I never did as I thought it was weird.
This has def put me off him a bit, or am I overreacting?

OP posts:
5128gap · 23/06/2022 19:12

Wearing your clothes is weird if you think it is. Fine if you're OK with it.
What is extremely off putting whatever you think of his kink, is the way he introduced it. He must know its a deal breaker for a lot of women so should have had the courtesy to discuss it with you before you got into a sexual relationship with him.

Whitehorsegirl · 23/06/2022 20:01

This is more than just someone making a silly, one-off joke by putting on your underwear.

The fact that he came back with your top on and has suggested you leave your underwear at his place suggests that he has a fetish.

Some guys do have a cross-dressing fetish and like to wear women's underwear.

If that puts you off, stop seeing him. If you are fine with it carry on seeing him.

I would also be put off by the fact that he could not speak to you about his fetish/kink in a mature way and decided to wear your stuff which is pretty creepy.

He told you this was ''just a joke''. Don't believe a word of it. He did this to see how you would react and now that he saw you were not impressed he tried to pass it off as humour.

People with fetishes who are repressing them are not going to really be happy in their relationship and the need to explore them will come back out eventually. They might even want to get them satisfied by someone else behind their partner's back.

Save yourself a lot of trouble and throw that one back in the dating pool.

Furrybutts · 23/06/2022 20:30

Huge deal breaker for me, however I'm not saying it should be for you.
He might have had an ex who enjoyed him doing it, so was just testing things with you.

SomePosters · 23/06/2022 21:32

I feel very lucky to have a partner that likes dressing up for me and I know how ashamed he was of that until he met me… these threads always make me feel so sad for men like him who just want the freedom to explore sexy clothes and feels of satin and lace but people act like it makes them some kind of disgusting pervert

lolil · 23/06/2022 21:35

SomePosters · 23/06/2022 21:32

I feel very lucky to have a partner that likes dressing up for me and I know how ashamed he was of that until he met me… these threads always make me feel so sad for men like him who just want the freedom to explore sexy clothes and feels of satin and lace but people act like it makes them some kind of disgusting pervert

Aww the poor men. Won't somebody think of the men. 'WHAIL'

COPPER3 · 23/06/2022 21:46

I wouldn't like this personally. It would freak me. He is definitely trying to tell you that he is a cross dresser. Up to you of course, but I can only imagine he will take more liberties.

DoncasterHombre · 23/06/2022 21:58

Your thong will forever be soiled with his dirty man-bum--poo-poo.

I'd never try to put a lasses undercrackers on, mind. I'd either stretch them beyond belief and be told off for that - rightly so - or they'd fit me and I'd get in trouble for that too.

Not worth the trouble.

5128gap · 24/06/2022 12:17

SomePosters · 23/06/2022 21:32

I feel very lucky to have a partner that likes dressing up for me and I know how ashamed he was of that until he met me… these threads always make me feel so sad for men like him who just want the freedom to explore sexy clothes and feels of satin and lace but people act like it makes them some kind of disgusting pervert

Well they'll just have to deal with the idea that they're not going to be able to wear frilly knickers AND get every woman they might want, won't they? It's not like no woman on earth will accept it.

Watchkeys · 24/06/2022 12:30

SomePosters · 23/06/2022 21:32

I feel very lucky to have a partner that likes dressing up for me and I know how ashamed he was of that until he met me… these threads always make me feel so sad for men like him who just want the freedom to explore sexy clothes and feels of satin and lace but people act like it makes them some kind of disgusting pervert

Wouldn't it make you feel sad if women felt pressured to accept behaviours in their partners that they didn't like?

Nobody on the thread has said he's a disgusting pervert. People have said he might be a cross dresser, and that they may or may not be interested in having a relationship with a cross dresser.

Shitscared123 · 24/06/2022 13:33

@DoncasterHombre has spoken Grin.

DoncasterHombre · 26/06/2022 22:10

Shitscared123 · 24/06/2022 13:33

@DoncasterHombre has spoken Grin.

nods solemnly

Amen to me, Sister. Amen to me and my dirty man-bum--poo-poo thong waistband stretching ass.

GreyCarpet · 26/06/2022 22:46

After 6 weeks, it would put me off someone someone I'd just started seeing. If my boyfriend of around a year did it, we'll I know him well enough to know he'd just be doing it for a laugh and it would be funny. But with someone I didn't really know... no.

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