Is this weird? Would this put you off someone?

[Espressomartinih]

So I've been dating a guy for the last 6 weeks, pretty casual, the sex is great and there is def chemistry there. Last night we were lying in bed and he got up to go get a drink, he put what I thought were his boxers on , when he came back, he asked if I liked his underwear and it was then I realised he was wearing my black undies! I was like wtf! It really creeped me out and I didn't like that he just lifted my underwear and put them on. That was bad enough but then we ordered a take away and he came out of the bedroom wearing my top which was of course far too small on him, he laughed about it and I just laughed it off and asked him to take it off.
What is going on? Is this his way of testing boundaries, is he a cross dresser? Or was he just trying to be funny? Now that I look back I notice that he would like me to leave underwear behind if I stayed over but I never did as I thought it was weird.
This has def put me off him a bit, or am I overreacting?

My ex did this once and it just repulsed me (he was a dick as well though). I still get that vision of him in my head at times (now being one). Vile human, he was.

I think once as a joke is ok but this wasn't a one off and just makes him look a bit creepy especially when it's only 6 weeks in.

I would actually find a bloke putting my knickers on for a joke quite funny. But this guy has also worn your top, asked you to leave stuff there, and jokingly put your bra on too. I dont even think you need to ask, its clear he's into it.

Your first post didn't mention him wearing your bra on another occasion.
Putting on your knickers MIGHT be a mistake if he was drunk and it was dark and grabbing whatever from the floor but I would guess he would realise it's not his underwear from the feel of the fabric and fit unless he was really pissed.

I think he likes wearing women's underwear. Might be a crossdresser. I personally would be put off because I like traditionally masculine manly straight men.

It's obviously creeper you out but if you do like him so much I'd be having a chat with him and not just LTB. I often pop my DPs things on if I have to leave the bedroom but I know this isn't the same as men's clothes tend to be bigger and no faff to put on. It personally wouldn't actually bother me but we all have our own boundaries and its important to respect yours

too weird for me

This.

i had an ex that put my undies on once and it was hilarious but if he did it multiple times I’d have gotten the ick.

Ugh, would be a hard no from me. One off I might take as a joke, but this is 3 times AND asking you to leave stuff at his. For me it would be a huge turn off, and I also wouldn’t appreciate him thinking he can just throw on my stuff without asking (especially underwear FFS) and not caring if it gets ruined/stretched out.

Creepy as hell, especially considering the 'leave your underwear at mine' comment. Ugh. Get rid.

I would think he's probably trying to be funny and not actually a cross dresser

Wouldn’t be acceptable at all for me, and I’d be chucking him back into the swamp. Immediate turn-off.

I wouldn't feel the need for any discussion at this point. I know what you describe isn't my thing, and I suggest that OP knows it isn't her thing either if she's asking the question, so she should stop seeing him.

He's taking your things without permission. I doubt it has anything to do with cross - dressing. He's probably just being outrageous or trying to get a laugh.

I also suspect he's taking the piss out of you.

This will escalate because he thinks he can just help himself to your stuff whenever he feels like it. Not just clothes, everything.

I had an ex who would wear my stuff. I would wear his too. It bothers some ppl but it wouldn't bother me because its just stuff😅 If you irks you so much, show him the door. Simples.

That's a lot of conjecture.

I've asked him about it and he has said it's a joke and he is sorry if it freaked me out, and to not think anything of it. I like him so I'm gonna take his word for it atm. Thanks everyone for your thoughts , it was a great help 🙂

Grim and disrespectful. You made clear that you weren’t keen on him wearing your knickers but he ignored your discomfort and instead of apologising, he then put on your top.

Ah, that old chestnut - “only a joke”.

Bullshit.

I think he has a fetish and he’s seeing whether you’re up for it or not.

I'd just ask questions.
We don't find it weird when us ladies put on men's shirts or jumpers. He might think it's funny in this case?
I think the way he answers is going to tell you more.

Ah you had lowered the red flag for him here OP.

Honestly this man, regardless of what it was, did not respect you enough to discuss bedroom boundaries. He did not respect you enough to ask. He did not respect you enough to talk. He forced that upon you to gauge your reaction and has passed it off as a joke. You needed to talk to him about clear and honest communication, about him not being able to just 'do' something without discussion. He may keep the cross dressing private for now but he won't forget that time he 'got away' with crossing a line he should have asked to cross.

Jumpers and shirts are a poor comparisons for knickers and bra.

Totally ⬆️

Where did you find them? We’re they in a place that puzzled you?
I'm just wondering if he had tried to hide them so he could get you to leave them behind.

Definitely odd behaviour. Getting a sexual thrill from wearing your undies is yucky