Date suggestions which put you off someone?

Heytheredeliah · 2022-06-22T18:59:05+00:00

I am curious to know which first date suggestions have really put someone off or they just said no to. For me, it was him asking to come to my place or going for a drive together. Doesn't really seem safe when you don't know someone. Dates which I said no thanks to were ice skating or swimming. I --am very bad at --just don't enjoy ice skating. Swimming would be great for a later date when I know them better but not for a first meeting. Which first date suggestions have put you off someone or you just didn't like the sound of?

CaptSkippy · 22/06/2022 20:04

I heard that swimming date suggestions are just an excuse to see you in your swimsuit to judge your appearance.

Undecidedandtorn · 22/06/2022 20:05

I'm with you on the coming round. I met someone for a drink in my local area and he kept on messaging "we might as well meet at yours" despite me pointing out I was already at the pub and he would have to walk past the pub to get to my place.

coodawoodashooda · 22/06/2022 20:06

Undecidedandtorn · 22/06/2022 20:05

I'm with you on the coming round. I met someone for a drink in my local area and he kept on messaging "we might as well meet at yours" despite me pointing out I was already at the pub and he would have to walk past the pub to get to my place.

Omg.

glowbabe · 22/06/2022 20:08

No to swimming . He's got you almost naked .

Labdo · 22/06/2022 20:10

Why do they always want to go for a hike? Sweaty and out of breath? No Thankyou!

i knew my husband was for me when he suggested “getting a fat burger from the shack and having a snog by the canons.” 🤣

LPtotallyamazing · 22/06/2022 20:12

I think a lot of the guys suggest cooking for you etc at their house to get you to their house etc I have heard this a lot recently and think it's some sort of "guys dating advice to get you into bed". Also if they are out of town they book a hotel "so they can have a drink" then try to get you drunk and back to their hotel etc! I never fall for it !!

glebaisaword · 22/06/2022 20:13

Swimming! Has someone really suggested that as a first date? How bizarre.

For me it's when blokes suggest a walk. It just says 'cheap' to me, and then there's the question of my safety. I prefer to have a specific time to meet in a public location with online dating. I'll happily do a walk date at a later point when I know him and I don't expect lavish luxury dates, but not a random walk with a stranger for our no. 1 meeting.

I dislike it when I'm on a first date and they suggest cooking for me at their house for date 2. It immediately ruins that first date as all I can think is I'm on a timer til they want to try something on. It often happens early on in the first date too, when they really have no idea who I am so it always feels disingenuous. Why else would you want to invite a basic stranger to your home? Could be innocent I suppose and I could be too paranoid and maybe they have some amazing chef skills they want to show off, but I doubt it.

Toughtimesagain · 22/06/2022 20:15

Let’s meet half way. You end up both having to drive to drink Diet Coke somewhere neither of you know and often on a shit industrial estate or something. If you want to meet, let’s make the effort.

Original poster

Heytheredeliah · 22/06/2022 20:15

Undecidedandtorn · 22/06/2022 20:05

I'm with you on the coming round. I met someone for a drink in my local area and he kept on messaging "we might as well meet at yours" despite me pointing out I was already at the pub and he would have to walk past the pub to get to my place.

The same thing kind of happened to me. I suggested meeting for a date. He replied ok, your place? I said I would prefer to go for a drink. He said it was too late to go to a bar or restaurant and it would better if he came to my place. It was 9pm so not really too late.

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habibihabibi · 22/06/2022 20:15

Rock climbing. The harnesses make even a small bum look colossal.

Original poster

Heytheredeliah · 22/06/2022 20:19

LPtotallyamazing · 22/06/2022 20:12

I think a lot of the guys suggest cooking for you etc at their house to get you to their house etc I have heard this a lot recently and think it's some sort of "guys dating advice to get you into bed". Also if they are out of town they book a hotel "so they can have a drink" then try to get you drunk and back to their hotel etc! I never fall for it !!

I also had a guy suggest coming to my place so we could cook together! I wasn't sure of his intentions and I was worried he would grab me or something.

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ComfyChairPose · 22/06/2022 20:19

A walk. It's a bit dangerous. (potentially) and it's cheap.

Inthesameboatatmo · 22/06/2022 20:20

I had someone say let's get a hotel room for our first date! Ridiculous

muchofamuchnessme · 22/06/2022 20:21

Girl I'm dating now liked to him on a walk. Depends where you live.

Original poster

Heytheredeliah · 22/06/2022 20:21

glebaisaword · 22/06/2022 20:13

Swimming! Has someone really suggested that as a first date? How bizarre.

For me it's when blokes suggest a walk. It just says 'cheap' to me, and then there's the question of my safety. I prefer to have a specific time to meet in a public location with online dating. I'll happily do a walk date at a later point when I know him and I don't expect lavish luxury dates, but not a random walk with a stranger for our no. 1 meeting.

I dislike it when I'm on a first date and they suggest cooking for me at their house for date 2. It immediately ruins that first date as all I can think is I'm on a timer til they want to try something on. It often happens early on in the first date too, when they really have no idea who I am so it always feels disingenuous. Why else would you want to invite a basic stranger to your home? Could be innocent I suppose and I could be too paranoid and maybe they have some amazing chef skills they want to show off, but I doubt it.

Yes, he did! I was a bit taken aback. I wondered why not just meet in a café?

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Original poster

Heytheredeliah · 22/06/2022 20:23

Inthesameboatatmo · 22/06/2022 20:20

I had someone say let's get a hotel room for our first date! Ridiculous

Oh that's very odd!

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IronChef · 22/06/2022 20:24

@Heytheredeliah that's so weird to me. Obviously wants to check out your body, very unsubtle! Was it an online bloke or did you already know him and he knows that swimming is your passion or something?

Original poster

Heytheredeliah · 22/06/2022 20:29

IronChef · 22/06/2022 20:24

@Heytheredeliah that's so weird to me. Obviously wants to check out your body, very unsubtle! Was it an online bloke or did you already know him and he knows that swimming is your passion or something?

It was an online bloke. I mentioned that I like shopping, travelling and swimming as my hobbies when he asked. He asked if I wanted to go swimming as our first date. I said it would be better as a later date when we knew each other a bit better. He then asked if I have any photos of me swimming 😮

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Precipice · 22/06/2022 20:36

None that I've encountered personally, but I agree with the ones further up the thread.

For swimming, I don't even get it. It's not an activity that allows for much conversation. The only conversations I tend to have in the pool are, when there are two of us in the lane, 'do you want to split the lane?". I've exchanged at times some more thoughts with someone while taking a rest at one end, but still far less talking than I'd expect to do in any social situation. Otherwise you're just hanging out in the water, which makes you in most cases a nuisance to everyone else (possibly acceptable in the open, non-lane part of the pool). Similar for the skating, actually, though you can at least sort of talk during.

Wouldn't want a walk either. I want something sedentary and calm for early get-to-know-you-better. I've seen a walk as a first date discussed with the answer that "I'm not a dog", which amused me and with which on the whole I agree. Nothing wrong with taking a nice walk together in some nice pretty area, but only when you know each other a bit more.

Labdo · 22/06/2022 20:36

I heard men suggest swimming so they can see you with no makeup.

OurChristmasMiracle · 22/06/2022 20:38

spending the weekend together at his- he offered to get me a Uber from my house to where he lived…… NO

someone once said let’s meet at bar but then told me to wear something revealing. Yuck 🤢

Fuzzyhippo · 22/06/2022 20:39

When they want to go for a walk on the first date in a quiet woods in the middle of nowhere. Had several of these, puts me right off..

Original poster

Heytheredeliah · 22/06/2022 20:41

Labdo · 22/06/2022 20:36

I heard men suggest swimming so they can see you with no makeup.

oh I never thought of that!

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D0lphine · 22/06/2022 20:44

I think anything thats not "a drink" or "a coffee" is a red flag.

Walk in the park is probably ok depending on the season, and was defo OK in covid era.

I think anything too LONG is a red flag. Like a taster menu / hike / long play etc. because if you don't like each other then rather than a coffee and a polite goodbye you're stuck with them for ages.

Plus any angling ti come back to yours / stay over / get you alone is obv serial killer territory.

I don't mind first dates being "cheap" because You have to go on a ton to meet someone nice.

myrtlehuckingfuge · 22/06/2022 20:50

Nope to anything that involved someone's home address on a first date. Actually enjoying the dates that aren't meeting up in a bar in recent months. Reading the PP about dates that involve swimming, I went paddleboarding on a first date-full squeaky wetsuits all round, good fun and not as revealing.