Date suggestions which put you off someone?

[Heytheredeliah]

I am curious to know which first date suggestions have really put someone off or they just said no to. For me, it was him asking to come to my place or going for a drive together. Doesn't really seem safe when you don't know someone.

Dates which I said no thanks to were ice skating or swimming. I am very bad at just don't enjoy ice skating. Swimming would be great for a later date when I know them better but not for a first meeting.

Which first date suggestions have put you off someone or you just didn't like the sound of?

I had a guy offer to cook dinner for me and my 3 kids at his house with his 2 kids as a first date

That made me laugh

All of my first dates were in cafés! In an area with lots of fancy ones, with all different aged customers.

I don't drink much at all, and wanted a man who didn't, either. I found the ones who were very reliant on alcohol couldn't cope with meeting a stranger without it, which nicely removed them from being a contender 🤣

Me too. Like come on 💩🤣

I had one guy who, when I refused to let him come round my house "to watch TV" on the first date, suggested we meet at a takeaway, I buy the food, and we eat it in my car (as the forecast was rain.)

You will be surprised to hear we have never had a first date together...

I’m never so glad to be a smug married as when I read these threads. Who the hell is suggesting swimming as a first date? Awful.

For me it would be anything involving heights or speed. DH took me skiing, which kind of covers both those things (had never skied in my life) on our third date. Just as well I liked him as that was a horrific experience. On our first date he had told me how much he enjoyed skiing, and I might have gushingly lied said that I would love to go skiing (never thinking I’d actually have to do it).

Fast forwards a couple of weeks and I was cursing myself on the chairlift but trying to look nonchalant in an effort to impress and be enthusiastic and outdoorsy, then made a total arse of myself getting off the chairlift (dropped my pole). It genuinely was like Bridget Jones, but I promise it actually happened. I proceeded to fall down eleventybillion times while also trying to remain positive and as alluring as I could
manage whilst being a hot and sweaty mess with the stress and effort, despite it being a Scottish winter.

Then I pretended to enjoy hiking….but that’s another story. A couple of months in and I couldn’t do it anymore. I dropped the bombshell that I neither enjoyed skiing nor hiking much, but turned out he liked me anyway, and the rest is history, as they say.

A lovey but naive lady I used to work with, invited somebody she met on plenty of fish over to her house for a first date 😖 apparently he was quite odd and it took a while to get him to leave, thankfully though he seemed to take no for an answer and didn’t contact her again.

Any date that doesn’t show any effort or thought about me or concern for my safety.

I want to date someone who likes me and wants to spend time getting to know me better. So the choice of venue needs to show they have thought about what my interests are based on our online chat. It must be a public place that is easy for me to get to.

I don’t really get the hate on here against meeting for a meal at a restaurant. It’s safe, if he’s really odd or offensive you can excuse yourself to go to the loo and just leave and it shows that they like you enough to get willing to commit time to get to know you better

wow that is awful!

I had someone who lived quite far from me offer to stay in a hotel near me or said I could put him up at my place. It was a no to that!

I've heard of a few men being invited round to ladies houses/flats as a meeting point on a first date. I think it can be foolish for safety reasons. I've also heard of men going round who found it difficult to make a quick escape because the ladies were strange or drunk.

I had the same offer, with the added element of interest that he lived 400 miles from me. I said yes. We'd interacted online though a shared hobby for a few years, met once in the past, and agreed that we might suit one another quite well. And we were both separated with primary custody of our children.

He was a nice chap and he wasn't a bad cook 😁But he turned out to have a two bottles of wine a night habit and a ton of debt which meant he wasn't long term relationship material for me.

I can't believe a guy would suggest swimming as a first date? They must be very young/naive to have never seen a woman without makeup and "to see her without it" is the reason? Is that really how it works now?

However, I'm happy to advise that I am single and will happily don only my Speedos, head to yours with the chicken I've bought - 'specially for the occasion - and cook it for you and our 12 shared children to pick at. If that doesn't work, we can get a takeaway to eat in the car on your driveway before going for a night walk? I'll have to put my flip-flops on though (and, yes, there will be socks); can't be too careful of them there darn twigs, right?

Look forward to your PM's.

For a first date, twat-face said- I’ll come over to yours with a bottle of wine (because I’m a lazy arse cheap-skate and want to get my leg over).

Not a chance in hell.

@DoncasterHombre
Are you related to Brian from Hull? 🤔

Many years ago now I was happily on the way to a date when I called my mum for a chat. Over the course of our conversation it dawned on both of us that in agreeing to go for a picnic date I had in fact agreed to meet an essentially random strange man in an area I didn’t really know as night fell. What was I thinking?! I went anyway because it felt too late to cancel (???), luckily though distinctly odd he was not a complete psychopath and while he did manage to trick me into stopping at his house ‘to pick something up’, it was fine in the end, though never saw him again. My mum was so relieved when I said I was home, alone, safely.

A drink at a time that can lead into more drinks/dinner if you are getting on well is best in my view.

I think it’s more the “no clothes” part

Nope. But he is my boyfriend.

I'm not gay . . . . . but he is.

Just remembered another one. Met a guy for coffee who wax a part time PT. He offered me a training session but said as he’d be coming from his day job in a suit he’d have to come to my house and change into his running gear. Erm no thanks!

Haha that reminds of this other guy I was talking to who wanted to come over and shag watch a movie and told me to buy him lots of his favourite snacks when he came over to my house

Of course you're not gay! you're just Bri curious.

Generally I don't like people inviting themselves to my house but otherwise I don't mind.

Three real live ones that left me cold......

'Come to a Porsche Owners Club day' - can you imagine, a bunch of petrolhead blokes salivating over stupidly priced , over engineered tin while I stand around saying 'Gosh how wonderful' every 30 seconds. 🙄

'Come water skiing...in West Sussex...in April' - Uhmm, no thanks.

Let's go off-roading - which basically meant I sat in the passenger seat while he drove and I admired him.

That guy talking about getting lost in the woods is so creepy!