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Original poster

Date suggestions which put you off someone?

72 replies

Heytheredeliah · 22/06/2022 19:59

I am curious to know which first date suggestions have really put someone off or they just said no to. For me, it was him asking to come to my place or going for a drive together. Doesn't really seem safe when you don't know someone.

Dates which I said no thanks to were ice skating or swimming. I am very bad at just don't enjoy ice skating. Swimming would be great for a later date when I know them better but not for a first meeting.

Which first date suggestions have put you off someone or you just didn't like the sound of?

OP posts:
seaUrchinOne · 22/06/2022 21:18

Being asked to go to theirs, nope!

Going for a coffee, too boring and I'm unlikely to fancy anyone in a coffee shop, just the wrong setting, how can you flirt with old ladies and toddlers looking over at you.

Anything too fancy, a posh restaurant or anything that involves a long date.

Never travelling to his town, he can come to mine or meet half way.

Dog walks, potentially dangerous going anywhere secluded, one guy joked about us getting lost in the woods, I never went.

Fuzzyhippo · 22/06/2022 21:39

Just remembered, I joined Facebook dating a few months back during a relationship "break". Someone messaged me and demanded that I went to Salisbury with him camping for the weekend after an hour of messaging. It came out of nowhere, and the message said "I'm going camping in Salisbury at the weekend, send me your address and I will pick you up on the Friday". He was over twice my age. Very creepy, promptly blocked.

ComfyChairPose · 22/06/2022 21:42

Oh boy, reminds me of a man on POF when I was on there ten years ago.

Instead of HELLO!, he said ''I don't suppose you'll come away with me for the night in my one man ten, or are you like the rest of the prudes on here''.

I replied ''I'm like the rest of the prudes on here''.

Unbelievable. He looked like ken stott

Bumpsadaisie · 22/06/2022 21:43

There's a picture emerging here as to why all the above men have yet to find love ....

Crimeismymiddlename · 22/06/2022 21:56

My place, his place, escape rooms-I am not particularly clever and I would humiliate myself and get all frazzled and out of the way pubs/country hotel bars, they are such a pain the arse to get to if you don’t have a car.

Cloverforever · 22/06/2022 21:57

I had one bloke invite me to his on a first date, because he'd bought a chicken from Aldi especially. I declined 😂

Sunnytwobridges · 22/06/2022 22:49

I’m usually down for anything but I wouldn’t go on a swimming date… how bizarre. Also no meeting up at each other’s house altho I did sleep over (alone) at an ex bfs house after we had an extremely long and late date.

5128gap · 22/06/2022 23:06

Its easier to say what would be acceptable. Which is:
A drink in a nice place.
A walk in a pleasant but well populated place.
A visit to a place of mutual interest that you have already talked about, such as a gallery or museum. Ice skating or bowling would fit into this category if it had been previously established that both parties liked it. But swimming, never.

TheWayoftheLeaf · 23/06/2022 00:22

CaptSkippy · 22/06/2022 20:04

I heard that swimming date suggestions are just an excuse to see you in your swimsuit to judge your appearance.

Also to 'see them without makeup'.

EBearhug · 23/06/2022 00:48

Swimming's a crap date. I go to swim 2000m,not chat. I don't wear make-up, so I don't care about that, and I've spent a fair percentage of my life in a swimming costume, so I don't care about that, either. But the point of a date is to find out about someone, and they'd just find I like to do steady lengths in a mix of strokes without really taking a break...

007DoubleOSeven · 23/06/2022 01:18

I insisted a friend change a first date with someone she'd only spoken to OLD...She'd agreed to go on a night walk with him!

rooftopvilla · 23/06/2022 07:28

Last year I guy I was chatting to suggested he would treat me to dinner at a posh restaurant. I was happy to go halves and would normally suggest just a coffee or a drink on the first date.

I was so excited I had my hair done and bought a new top. When we met we had a drink first. I saw him fiddling with his phone. He must have cancelled the reservation. We ended up going for a pizza. It was nice of him to pay and I offered to go halves but I was disappointed. I am sticking to grabbing a quick coffee for future dates.

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 23/06/2022 07:38

glebaisaword · 22/06/2022 20:13

Swimming! Has someone really suggested that as a first date? How bizarre.

For me it's when blokes suggest a walk. It just says 'cheap' to me, and then there's the question of my safety. I prefer to have a specific time to meet in a public location with online dating. I'll happily do a walk date at a later point when I know him and I don't expect lavish luxury dates, but not a random walk with a stranger for our no. 1 meeting.

I dislike it when I'm on a first date and they suggest cooking for me at their house for date 2. It immediately ruins that first date as all I can think is I'm on a timer til they want to try something on. It often happens early on in the first date too, when they really have no idea who I am so it always feels disingenuous. Why else would you want to invite a basic stranger to your home? Could be innocent I suppose and I could be too paranoid and maybe they have some amazing chef skills they want to show off, but I doubt it.

A walk would likely be my preferred choice - cheap, fresh air, public and room for conversation.

< am thinking of gentle stroke in nice park / gardens etc , not a strenuous hike in the isolated back of beyond >

Teacher7676 · 23/06/2022 07:41

Some friends of mine used to insist that a first date should be a fun activity, but I never agreed. What if you don't hit it off at all or they're completely not what you thought and then you're stuck playing crazy golf or whatever that you've paid for.
I think a coffee is enough for the very first time.

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 23/06/2022 07:47

Oh Myrtle, I hope you meant stroll…..

BobinogBobbleHat · 23/06/2022 07:47

< am thinking of gentle stroke in nice park / gardens etc , not a strenuous hike in the isolated back of beyond >

I don't think I'd be happy with a stroke in the park until a few dates in.

wotsitsaremyfave · 23/06/2022 08:03

Surely any sensible man knows that it's not safe for women to go to strange mens homes. The fact they suggest it would get them
Blocked

And as for swimming! Ludicrous

slowcookerforone · 23/06/2022 11:05

I've done a few walking dates in lockdown, not doing them again if I can help it!

My ideal 1st dates are a quick drink in a pub / bar unless I really think there's something about them then I'd go for dinner somewhere not too fancy, but fairly nice.

To be honest I'm so bored with dating (mine done through OLD) that I've accepted I'm going to be single.
I seem to live in an area of the country which has no men I'm interested in.

Inchail · 23/06/2022 11:24

i knew my husband was for me when he suggested “getting a fat burger from the shack and having a snog by the canons. 🤣

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

Sidge · 23/06/2022 11:28

I don’t mind a coffee date. It’s short enough to slurp a quick coffee and shoot off if you don’t fancy him/her, but gives you the opportunity to stay and get more coffee and food if you get on.

I didn’t like to do meals as a first date as you’re trapped then! Did quite a few walks with takeaway coffee between lockdowns - always in public places though, like parks or along the canal.

Had a few requests to come to mine for a first date - once so “you can cook for me and then we can test your bed out” ewwwww he got deleted PDQ.

I would never do swimming! Or any sport really. I do that in my own time. On a first date I want to look my best 😆

jojogoesbust · 23/06/2022 11:38

I recently chatted to a strange man on Badoo. We seemed to click when we chatted, then he asked me to travel to Derby that weekend to his flat. I declined, and he asked why and I said well you are a stranger. He said well you have to put your trust in people, and that the fact I had been single for 3 years had made me 'build a wall' when it comes to relationships....erm blocked. Thanks but no thanks

mrsfrancinemeowington · 23/06/2022 11:40

@rooftopvilla what did he say? What did you say about the restaurant?! Shock
Did you see him again?

BiscoffSundae · 23/06/2022 11:42

Wouldn’t go on a date with someone who suggested going for a walk, or those that say to come over to theirs to watch a film 🤨

rooftopvilla · 23/06/2022 12:50

@mrsfrancinemeowington - I couldn't really say anything about the restaurant because he had wanted to pay. We still had a nice meal at a pizza place and he paid. I never saw him again as it was clear he wasn't interested. There were some red flags when we chatted online but I always ignore them.

ICriedAllTheWayToTheChipShop · 23/06/2022 15:27

I had one on Bumble recently who wanted me to go round to his so he could cook for me. When I politely declined and suggested meeting somewhere in public to start with, he gave me the postcode of his local pub instead. He lived in the arse-end of nowhere about 50 miles away from me, and I thought it was spectacularly off that he didn't think to look for somewhere we could meet halfway. Obviously he was either only after an easy shag ir he didn't drive, so was expecting me to go to him every time.