Boyfriend has booked a 2 week solo trip without discussing it with me

[SilentG1]

Hes booked 2 weeks in Vietnam with one of those 30-40 solo travel groups.
Told me today- he's going in a weeks time. We don't live together but it would have been nice to at least be involved slightly and reassured for the reasons he's going.
Instead I just got a bit blindsided this morning with a text saying "I've booked a 2 week trip to Vietnam and I'm leaving on Sunday"

Our relationship hasn't been the most solid lately and we've been working to get things back on track, which I think is why this makes me feel worse than it should.

I would have loved to have gone with him and can't help feeling like this is a bit of a slap in the face, especially as this will now be using up all his holiday time that we could have spent together.

Am I right feeling a bit put out or should I just be wishing him well and that be it?
Been together over 2 years but had a break in that time (instigated by him)

I would just reply to his text with Carolyn’s line from Cabin Pressure: What a novel way you’ve chosen to end our relationship.

I had one like this OP. Finally, on one of his solo trips he met someone else and ended it.

Did me a favour.

🙄

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · Yesterday 21:37

Tell him you have booked a permanent break from him

☝

@SilentG1

it really doesn't matter how anyone else would feel. All that matters is how YOU feel.

you're worth more than this crap relationship.

go with the 'What a novel way you've chosen to end our relationship! Have a good time/nice life. Bye'

He's a twat, you deserve better.

You're not going to leave him op. You'll continue this on/off relationship for some reason.

If you want commitment, love, respect, loyalty, possibly children in the future, then dump this man as he will never give you any of that.

If you are happy wasting your time trying to get him to love you and get nothing in return, then by all means continue with him. But you need to stop complaining, he's shown you what he's like and how much he doesn't care about you. You're the one holding onto that.

This is like when Chandler pretends to Janice he's moving to Yemen instead of breaking up with her.

The truth of it is that if you were a couple that had staying power, both of you would be planning the trip. He would want to share the trip with you.

But he doesn't.

And that really means only one thing - he's not that into you.
Now you can muddle along and accept that this is basically a no strings /no future arrangement, but dont be under any illusion that your relationship is going anywhere with him.

I think you are just a place-holder girlfriend for him. And that's fine if he's that for you as well but it doesn't seem like that so I would say that you should cut your losses.

I dated a guy like that in my 20ties. Sorry OP, you like him more than he likes you.

From the sound of it, you think that your relationship is more serious than he does.

I think you should move on.

Sorry, but he’s taking the coward’s way of dumping you. He’s showing you he doesn’t care much about you so that it’s likely you will dump him. That way he gets to play victim if he wants to and feel like he was the good guy. My ex did this to me.
If you don’t dump him he’ll carry on using you for a casual relationship, picking you up and dropping you as he pleases.

OP - I think you and he are on different pages in this relationship . You are committed and see him as your partner - he isn’t and doesn’t feel the same . By sticking with him you are very probably missing meeting someone you could form a much more satisfactory relationship with . You really do deserve the real deal you know

2 years in and hes just randomly booked himself a solo 2 week trip.

Sounds like he wants to live like a single bloke. Only has consideration for himself.

So let him live like one. Permanently.
If my DP booked a solo holiday without so much as a consultation he would no longer be my DP.
I really can't work out these guys who want all the benefits of a relationship and yet still think they are entitled to act like single blokes. Whenever they feel like it.

I bet if you'd booked yourself on a 2 week break OP, with a bunch of singles, he'd have something to say about it pretty damn sharp.

I agree completely that he doesn't need your 'permission' to go but an actual conversation about it, prior to booking, would have been appropriate.

He's always had one foot out of the door by the sounds of it, OP. Best to bin this one and move on.

he’s just randomly booked himself a solo 2 week trip

But it wasn’t random. The relationship broke down at his instigation, then once they got back together he started talking about travelling to somewhere too expensive and inconvenient for the OP. He was telling her then …

Perfect.

Sorry op.

I find that when things hurt a lot its because hope is GONE, all hope, suddenly and it's awful. But you're better off with no hope in situations like this.

This.

You are wasting time.

Take back some dignity and end things.

ComfyChairPose …

New favourite user name!