To be put off by this or just banter?

[Wasabihelp]

Been having a flirty chat with a friend of a friend and they made a couple of comments which I’m not sure how to take...

We were joking around about not knowing how to live off without certain apps and they said “Omg what you’re thick as shit” when I jokingly said I didn’t know how to do something obvious - this is very much their sense of humour but seemed pretty abrupt. Laughed it off though.

we then both swapped photos of an experience we’d recently been on. Mine was flattering and his was nice too. I said how good he looked on his and he said “hmm 4/10” re mine to which I said “harsh” - he then said “sorry you look great! Just thought you were fishing”

I think the second one did get me a bit because the first is a blunt joke, the second just makes me feel disingenuous for sharing anything where I might seem anything other than modest :S

Sounds like he is truly awful at speaking to women - you’re right to be put off.

If you're questioning elements of his personality at this point I'd proceed with care.

He sounds insecure. 🚩

I know what flirting & banter are, but he takes it too far for my linking. 😬

Liking * silly autocorrect

Those comments aren't "jokes". Not even close.

I imagine his other speciality is to say something really shitty and then say he's only joking/can't you take a joke?

I agree with others about the negging

He's a bellend

I know a few people with this srnse of humour. One couple are both like it so it works for them. One is northern and claims its the standard humour in his home town. He does alright for attention at home but not in the city he lived in now. Anyway, I and most other people find it tiresome. I few gentle jibes while flirting is fine, constant put downs are not.

I would give him a miss - he’s inclined to put you down rather than build you up. Life can be hard you need a person who builds you up by your side.

Classic negging, put you down then say he’s joking so not only does he get to insult you, he also gets to act like YOU are the one who is unreasonable for not liking it.

Also it’s really weird in context - you both shared pictures of an experience and you complimented him, why on earth is that you ‘fishing’? Makes no sense but hey he’s already got you second guessing and doubting yourself - job done from his point of view.

Anyone who called me 'thick as shit' even as a "joke" would find themselves in dumpsville.

See I think the first comment is worse than the second. I'd be upset if somebody insulted my intelligence. I also think that if you were to end up in a relationship, that certainly wouldn't improve.

How old is he? See I thought he may be nervous and this is his way of trying to be funny. Like boys at school who want your attention. Assuming he's not a teen though?

Jokes make you laugh.
He insulted you. Twice.

Sorry, OP, this one’s not worth your time. If he’s such a dick now, when there’s no real relationship to speak of, he’ll be a total tool if you carry on with this. When you’re just getting to know one another, it shouldn’t be like this. Block, delete, and go and have a piece of wonderful cake to celebrate your perspicacity!

Sounds like he's negging you, keeping you in your place. Unattractive and nasty.

So hang on, he rated a photo of you as a 4/10. Then said he said that because he thought you were fishing for a compliment?
WTF!
Its early in the relationship and quite frankly, even if he thought you were fishing for a compliment, he should have rated you a 10. Or not rated at all! Thats crass in itself!

he is the sort who thinks you are too good for him and he has to take your confidence down a notch so you'll stay with him.
Run for the hills. It will only get worse!

Omg what you’re thick as shit

Personally I prefer someone with a modicum of tact & diplomacy in their speech.

He sounds immature, boorish, verbally aggressive/tactless, laddish..... itd be a swerve for me.

The fishing thing... not a great reflection of the way he thinks either.

100% negging. Now he's made you feel 'off' you will be on high alert for more incidents and there will be. Negative energy and negative vibes. Not worth it! Just ghost him

negging, throw him back.

I do have this kind of relationship with some very close friends and family (also northern) but the difference is that it’s done when it’s so obviously outside the truth it’s ridiculous never, ever used on any topic where it may be misconstrued as serious and I certainly would never do it with someone I didn’t know v v well. Eg I may have used the 4/10 comment with one of my guy friends but that’s because we both know he has absolutely no problems in that space at all. He wouldn’t say the same to me as it’s an area I’m sensitive about

Never click with a knob. It's one of life's golden rule.

Can't stand this sort of 'banter'. It's just another word for poor jokes at someone else's expense. My son used to do it and I had to remind him I am his mother, not a 15 year old mate.
If this is his 'sense of humour' then get rid.

God how tedious. I ended something quite recently for this (in part).

I'm all for some witty, warm hearted piss taking but saying 'you're thick' and 'you're unattractive' and 'you're attention seeking' are not witty and they're not nice things to say. I'd move on. You can't reason with someone who does this as they think saying 'it was a joke' makes anything acceptable.

Nope. Being called ‘thick as shit’ is not my idea of a joke. Since I got divorced I don’t put up with a single comment like that.

Yeah he is nasty. Do you really want to put up with these comments long term? They aren't funny, or positive or kind.

He sounds horrible.