Do I confront the woman I've been cheated on with..

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I recently found some messages on my partners phone (not proud of it, I had a gut feeling which turned out to be right). They're Snapchat messages and one of them was about them arranging to meet up. No evidence that they actually did. I've confronted my partner about it and he's adamant he didn't but I'm not so sure. He's was also messaging 4 other girls on Snapchat, one of which his ex. Anyway, I've found the girl he was arranging to meet on Facebook.. and her boyfriend. I really want to message her to get some answers. Do you think I should? If so what should I say? Do I message the boyfriend as well to let him know what's been going on? I think if I was in his position I'd appreciate it if someone told me.

Or you could just dump your partner?

She might not know about you, so I don't think 'confronting' her is the right approach, but I would let her know who you are and what your partner's situation is

I wouldn't bother. I'd just dump my boyfriend and move on.

Are you still with your partner?

People on here will tell you it's your partner who has done wrong and who needs to give you answers. And I'm not sure getting into a spat with another woman will help you when he's the problem.
TBH though I think you probably know the answer. Your partner seems to have ongoing form.

@Cocowatermelon she does know about me. They each knew about one another's partners.

Honestly I'd tell her boyfriend, if you're sure she's the right person and in a relationship. I'd always rather know so I can decide on what to do than to not know. But keep in mind "don't shoot the messenger" is a phrase for a reason and he may not take kindly to being told his partner is cheating on him.

What would you gain from it?

If he's messaging other women, even talking about meeting up. Surely that's enough for you? Does it matter if he actually done it YET? The intention is there! If he hasn't met up with someone, it is likely just time before he does.

For me, messaging other women intending or planning to meet, would be cheating. I mean you could say, he didn't go through with it cos he loved you and realised he didn't want it, but how likely is that really?

Personally I wouldn't message the boyfriend, I'd get out with my head held high.

Focus on dumping your partner.

Your focus should be on your hopefully ex partner and his behaviour
Dont embarrass yourself contacting her

Just cut to the chase and ditch the arsehole

I wouldn’t jump into the cesspit and thrash around. I’d shout down to my partner that I’m leaving then get away from the edge, leaving them all to toil in the shit themselves.

Just dump him. And go for some counselling before you date again.

Not because you’ve done anything wrong . But you need to raise your standards- you deserve better.

Just dump your partner

I wouldn't message her or her partner, there's nothing you can really gain from it and your pain won't transfer. Just focus on leaving your DP.

I'd dump him and then inform the boyfriend! Why should she get away with it? Of course it's his fault and he's done the dirty but she needs outed too.

Why do so many people think it is degrading or wrong to call out the OW? I have never understand why so many get away with it. They've knowingly contributed to destroying someone else's life, why shouldn't they feel the repercussions of it?

Also, if my partner was cheating on me, I would 100% want to know.

I think it is more the way you go about informing them which is challenging...

He's messaging several women? What are you hanging about for? Move on and find a decent bloke.

I would. Might make her think twice before doing it to someone else and will also embarrass your ex boyfriend enough that he also thinks twice before doing it again.
You don't win any prizes for staying quiet or speaking up so do what feels best, but understand people who do this shit tend to get a kick out of feeling they've 'won' so expect the exchange to be a bitch fest.
MN has this weird idea that women should only be seen polishing their halos and never seen in anger, it's unrealistic, sometimes swearing at someone makes you feel better and lets you draw a line under being treated like shit so you can move on properly.

Why are you wondering if you should message this woman and her boyfriend ?
You are in a relationship with him, not her, therefore it is his responsibility to stay faithful to you.
Hes messaging other women, it’s a current ongoing situation. He is a liar and a cheat, weather he met her or not the intention was there. Do yourself a huge favour and leave.

No. It's your partner who promised you loyalty, not her. Your relationship is his responsibility to honour, not hers. You also don't know the story he's given her.

You're going to be busy if you choose to confront every woman he's contacting. For ease, just dump him.

I'd tell her and her boyfriend x