Stay or leave

[Eh97]

My fiancé and I have been together about 3years…. We’ve haven’t always had the best of times- in all honesty.

we’ve been through couples therapy but he is still verbally nasty (calling me all sort of names) and he breaks / damages my belongs (three pairs of daily glasses, multiple phones, clothes- sometimes whilst they’re on me and my bedside cabinet at my mums. To name but a few).

I’m going through therapy, but my therapist cut my session the other day short as my fiancé kept walking in and trying to continue the argument that we had before. I had to nip to my mums as I had a parcel delivered so I had to pick it up and said I’m going to mums, so he thought I was staying there and having dinner (not the case). I went home and started sorting my dinner out as he’d done his own-for once! And he refused to let me use the oven and proceeded to wipe his hands over my mushroom, telling me his hands were dirty. I threw the mushroom at him as I was at my wits end as we’d argued the night before too! He grabbed me by my T-shirt and forced me to take the rubbish bags to the bin, he then locked me out and deliberately took his keys from the kitchen side to put them in the door so my keys wouldn’t work from the outside.

He goes through my phone and won’t let me socialise with my mates as there would have been males there

Leave now

Leave immediately, this is awful. Do you have any DC?

Please reread your message and tell us how you can even ask us the question. You are not safe. Leave now.

You poor thing OP what a vile man. Please leave and realise your worth so much more this is not a healthy relationship x

Leave. This is abuse and it won't stop.

He sounds horrific. Leave this toxic relationship and never consider marrying this man.

Definitely leave. This is toxic and you do not need to take that from anyone. You are worth more.

What do you get out of this relationship? You deserve far more than this. Please don't let him treat you like this.

Leave.
he will get worse and you will never be happy with him. Good luck, op.

Leave. He is abusive, you deserve so much better.

Many have said you should leave but really you shouldn't need them to.
what is the alternative? You know that if you stay he will loose it one day and do something that will land him in prison and hurt everyone else who cares about you. Thing is he will likely blame his action on you.
For his sake and the sake of everyone else who loves you, you need to run now!

Of course you need to leave.

But why do you need to ask the view of a bunch of strangers on the internet if you should leave your abusive, unpleasant, unloving fiancé? You can see how horrible he is. Surely you've discussed this with your therapist? If not, then when you've left then set up your next appointment with that as the question. And don't so much as look at a man until your head is a bit clearer.

Sounds crap. I'd leave.

No, no children yet as I can’t fall pregnant due to pcos

The only acceptable level of abuse in a relationship is none. Why is this person your fiance?.

This relationship is over because of the abuse he metes out towards you. Its not his things that get broken by him, only yours and done deliberately. This man wants absolute power and control over you hence his behaviour re your phone and your friends. These are all the actions of an abusive person.

Couples therapy is never recommended where there is abuse of any type within the relationship so it was never going to work.

How can you be helped here into leaving your abuser?. How helpful could family and friends be to you here?.

Leave leave leave ASAP

Do not ever have a child by him.

Abuse like described takes a long time, years even, to properly recover from. Your boundaries, skewed already by him, are damaged so you need time and space away from any relationship with a man. Be on your own, its better than being with an abusive tosser. Look also at the Freedom Programme and consider also contacting Womens Aid if you are in the UK.

Leave

@Delectable

we were in the process of moving at the start of the year and during the moving month a neighbour called the police as it was late (about 10/11pm) and we were arguing.

I downloaded Snapchat (as I’m not allow certain social media accounts) then deleted it off my iPhone- he checks my battery log too.

I lied about what app I had deleted on the phone I pay for (with insurance -which is because of him)

he then ran off down the road, with my phone… I ran after him (grabbing old house keys) with to get it back whilst in only his dressing gown with bra and pants under as I was in bed.

police came and he returned my phone to me in front of them and then as we couldn’t get in . The police had to drive us some miles to my mums at silly o’clock in the morning.

Leave. No doubt at all.

Has your therapist spoken about calling women's aid? Or done an emergency plan with you?

This is so hard for you to hear, but you need to call them.

You have a completely unprofessional therapist if they are not telling you to leave.

Pack a bag now and go to your mums. He sounds incredibly dangerous.

I hope you aren't using the devices he searches to access Mumsnet?

Without a doubt leave. This is not a normal relationship by any means - it's abusive.
The love of your life is out there waiting for you and will tear you like gold. Please leave, have time for you and the rest of your life will fall into place after

It's good you don't have DC, who owns the property you live in. Leave as soon as you can, it's not normal to have your stuff broken deliberately by a partner.