UPDATE
Whilst I normally like to keep my personal life to myself, I just thought I would give some hope to anyone who has been (or is) in the same situation that I found myself in only a few weeks ago.
I took a lot of advice from this forum and prepared myself for the worst.
I did some soul searching and managed to talk to my wife in the most open and honest way, probably the most we have talked about 'us' in years. I could understand how she had got to the position we had found ourselves in, but I had not realised how things had got to this state.
We talked and I accepted my failures in our marriage and friendship but as I did that, she also started to unravel her part in our situation and we have started to communicate like never before.
She had decided she was moving out and whilst that left me heartbroken, I accepted her decision and without trying to emotionally trap her, I just told her how I felt and that no matter what, I would always love her and that I would always cherish the time we had spent together (a reminder that it was 30 years!).
The day came for her to move out (the hardest moments of my life) and I thought my life was over. We had made a plan to not talk/message/phone until she was ready, which was hopefully going to help her clear her head and find out how she really felt and to try and understand what had made her so unhappy.,
To my delight, she phoned me 3 hours later and came home......
We have work to do, but I have taken what was said between us and I am trying to make the effort to be the husband that she really wanted. Communication was the real key here, and clearly I just wasn't listening (even though I thought I was).
We have even regained some intimacy as we continue to build on our marriage again.
There were lots of matter of fact opinions on my situation (on here), so I just thought that I would post this positive story update for anyone else who is going through something similar.
There was also some great advice and I thank those people for giving some clarity on what I could/should/maybe do to try and save my relationship. I am not saying everything is back to normal, but I am saying that whilst I always knew marriages are a 2 way affair, it is vital to remember that you should never take anything for granted.
I love my wife, I had clearly started to take her for granted and I had stopped working on our relationship. We had become flat, but I had just accepted that all was fine. All relationships need that spark and when it starts to dim down, you need to recognise that and work to keep that spark burning brightly. Thankfully my soul partner has given me the opportunity AND is happy for us to work together to reignite what we had.
I am sure there will still be a few pessimistic people who read this message, but whilst my 'relationship turnaround' is still in its relative infancy, I honestly believe (maybe naively) in the power of true love, but love still needs to be worked on even in the very best of relationships.
I feel like a kid again and I am enjoying the moment of starting to date the love of my life again xx