DM overstepped her mark

[girlmummy25]

My DM is very open and out there. It was my DD's 3rd birthday party which started at 1:30pm (at home) and come 7:30pm there were still a few people at my house.
Im pregnant and was knackered, my DD was getting tired and a bit irritable. I told my mum i felt knackered and done and she saw me struggling with my DD a little bit, she took it upon herself to ask the remaining guests to leave which was my DH family and friends. He is livid and so angry... how do I make this right between them? They didnt argue but he was visibly annoyed
My mum in her mind was looking out for me but it wasnt her place to ask people to leave

Sounds like your mom was just trying to look after her daughter

Um, this isn't about 'reading minds', this is about a HUSBAND KNOWING HIS WIFE! (Please excuse the shouting).

That this even needs to be said shows how far the pendulum has swung into the Handmaiden territory. We're still making excuses for men's poor behaviour. We are going backwards at enormous knots.

The OP is pregnant. The man is not. You'd expect her mum to be there. And OP said the only ones left were his side of the family, not hers. Which considering the husband's behaviour, proves the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

@Vivi0

But OP's mum was clearly trying to help her (ie co host), whereas DH and in laws were continuing the party.

You can't really overstay if you are putting kids to bed or tidying up IMO.

DH clearly needed a big hint, which is not exactly admirable, but actually I don't see the issue of carrying on the gathering, if DD and OP were in bed, no one was being disturbed, and he took full responsibility for clear up.

So the priority was to get OP and DD to bed and anyone left could help to clear up. Would have cleared the house eventually!

I would be livid as well if I was your DH. Your mother can't tell YOUR guests in YOUR home when it's time to leave! That's your decision to take as a couple and your mother has nothing to do with it. why was she still there herself btw?

I also don't see why you couldn't simply put your daughter to bed with the guests still there.

Your mum's heart was in the right place but you aren't a child and if you were knackered and wanted them all gone, you should have asked your husband to boot them all out. You mum did overstep. She was being protective to the point of infantilising you though.

I would absolutely go nuts if my mil thought it was okay to chuck my family out of my house, so I can see why your husband is pissed off. But I also think that if he wasn't doing all the heavy lifting for this party, then he wasn't doing right by you. I think you maybe need words with him too!

I would feel embarrassed to be honest. She shouldn’t have asked them to leave. I’m not surprised your DH was livid, especially if it had a rude tone.

Why didn't your DH do what he should have done and made sure that his family and friends didn't overstep the mark? They had already been there for 6 hours and you say it would have continued until 10pm if nothing had been said.

You need a word with your husband, he sounds oblivious to your needs. Better sort it now than when you're knackered with a toddler and new born and he's merrily entertaining his family for hours whilst you cope with the kids.

@Alb0 I was working 12 hour shifts when I was pregnant! I really don't see why it makes any difference?

When you were heavily pregnant? Even so, bully for you, not every woman is the same. Some have severe HG, others don't. Some need to be on full time bed rest, others don't. It's not a competition. The point is the husband surely could see she was tired (if he knows her he'd know) and should have stepped in. As my husband would have. As any decent husband worth his soul would.

He clearly didn't realise how she felt though. We all occasionally lack a bit of empathy, don't we? There's isn't really much in OP's posts to suggest her DH is useless. What is evident however is a lack of communication between him and his wife. That's a real problem IMO.

I get that you are embarrassed by your mum's behavior but your DH should be embarrassed he didn't detect his pregnant wife was knackered, and his relatives should be embarrassed they were too enamored with their own fun to notice they had overtaxed their hostess.