What's it like with your abuse ex once dc have turned 16/18

[AlternativelyWired]

I don't want to wish time away but I'm hoping the bastard won't have any need to contact me once the dc are adults or at least at college and won't be restricted by a court order and he can't threaten me with court any more. In fact I worry what he will do if he can't threaten court. That's been his weapon of choice for 10 years now. I can't wait for the day I can tell him to go fuck himself and he can't report me to social services/court saying I'm an unfit mother. I'm pretty much NC with him anyway but we do have to communicate to some degree. Very much grey rock on my side though. Please tell me it gets better!

Anyone?

There is no need for him to be in your life once the kids can take over but maybe be prepared that he might start being an arse with them!

I have no contact at all now . But I found the contact with my son all but stopped too .
This is because it was always about power and control over me - not really seeing the child .

Yes it gets better-eventually! He will still try to control & won't want to give up the power, but gradually all that horrible bullying ceases. I had the added bonus of my ex emigrating. In the grand scheme of the universe you'll look back & think wtf was all that about? Hang on in there, I know it doesn't seem like it now but time flies & there is light at the end of the tunnel. Forgot to say if he's a real prize prick then he might use the kids to get to you but they'll probably see through it, kids aren't daft & wise up eventually. It might turn out they go NC on him.

One dc is low contact with him because he's tried to alienate her from me like he has her older sister. My eldest is not in a good place trying to placate him and struggles to see me because he doesn't like it. She lives with him after he totally alienated her.

Oh dear, you could be describing my old situation more or less. It's very sad the way it messes the kids up but they won't see it as they have to win at all costs & use the kids like pawns! Well you'll have the last laugh am sure, he's already alienated dd1. Shame the toll it takes on you and your daughters.