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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

He still wants it

69 replies

Relaxing2 · 28/05/2022 21:04

My partners left me told me he doesn't love me anymore but wants to come around and fuck me and fuck me off every now and then I'm broke

OP posts:
mycatallowsmetolivehere · 28/05/2022 21:06

I hope you told him to go fuck himself right off

MissNothing1991 · 28/05/2022 21:09

I'm not sure what you're asking?

Relaxing2 · 28/05/2022 21:10

I just needed to talk I'm shocked I can't believe he's said it he said he wants to come in do what he's got to do and go again!

OP posts:
Braveasfook · 28/05/2022 21:10

"hope you told him to go fuck himself right off"

This. ⬆️ and reinforce your boundaries. Ta da to him!

BemoreDerek · 28/05/2022 21:11

Well he can want all he likes, doesn't mean he gets what he wants does it? I would take the greatest pleasure in telling him to fuck right off and then blocking every form of contact, and in knowing that he still wants you in any context whereas you don't want him at all Flowers

Fuzzyhippo · 28/05/2022 21:35

Most of the men I've dated have said this but they soon buggered off to the next one and did the same to them a few months later. Blocked their numbers straight away after that

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 28/05/2022 22:10

Send him this OP.

He still wants it
Unanananana · 28/05/2022 22:14

You can and should tell him to go jump.

I hope you aren't actually considering allowing him to use you as a wank sock. Aren't you wortg more?

NotMyselfWithoutCoffee · 28/05/2022 22:27

So he basically wants to use you as a living sex doll then eff off.
I'd tell him to stick it where the sun don't shine.

Relaxing2 · 29/05/2022 09:49

He's messaged me this morning saying good morning babe you ok what's his game? No I've not replied my heads battered

OP posts:
MushMonster · 29/05/2022 09:54

You can reply to him
'Oh, I am great babe! I just got rid of some dead weight and getting ready to tango with an amazing new man. I got a date tonight! He is hot...'

OutDamnedSpot · 29/05/2022 10:03

I’m not really sure what you’re asking. His game is obvious. He does not want a relationship, but wants a shag.

The question is: what do you want?

Unless your answer is “to spend my life confused, not have a boyfriend, but have some arsehole who likes to fuck me occasionally” then tell him to fuck off to the far side of fuck. And when he gets there, he can fuck off some more.

XmasElf10 · 29/05/2022 10:03

You need some good “fuck off music” to sing along to. Then you need to give yourself a good talking to. The only sensible response to all this is to block the shit head and enjoy your new life. I realise that’s sometimes a daunting prospect so drown out those “oh no, I might be lonely. Maybe he will change” demons with a chorus of… A, B, C, D, E, fuck off!

XmasElf10 · 29/05/2022 10:05

A-B-C-D-E, F-U
And your mom and your sister and your job
And your broke-ass car and that shit you call art
Fuck you and your friends that I'll never see again
Everybody but your dog, you can all fuck off

Relaxing2 · 29/05/2022 10:05

What I want is to not be hurting the way he's hurt me he knows I'm in a mess I've not eaten for 5 days he keeps telling me he loves me but told me he doesn't love me no more then when I say you don't love me he says I do just not like I used to I stil care about you just don't want a relationship with you just wanna be your fuck buddy that's all

OP posts:
glamosaurus · 29/05/2022 10:09

Just sack him off and do yourself the biggest favour. He's fucking with your head more than anythingSad

OutDamnedSpot · 29/05/2022 10:09

Okay. So your first job today is to eat something.

Then block him on all devices and apps.

He’s not going to change. That means that you have to: don’t keep dancing to his tune. Chin up. Music on loud. Start living your own life.

nancy75 · 29/05/2022 10:10

How long have you been with him?

XmasElf10 · 29/05/2022 10:11

Tell him to fuck off. Stop trying to unpick it or make it make sense. Stop hoping that if you just hang in there and take the hurt a little bit longer then he’ll see how great you are and come back. He just wants a shag, nothing more and nothing less. This isn’t a reflection on you but on him.

Try Pink and Lily Allen too. Whenever you aren’t sure what the right answer should be with this guy go for “fuck off”. Block him, he is just going to mess with your head!

ATadConfused · 29/05/2022 10:15

NotMyselfWithoutCoffee · 28/05/2022 22:27

So he basically wants to use you as a living sex doll then eff off.
I'd tell him to stick it where the sun don't shine.

Probably not the best thing to say tbh.

Relaxing2 · 29/05/2022 10:15

8 years I known him and he's been after
Me For that long but I never gave in then I lost my partner to cancer and thought I would never find love again I told him I was falling for him and he said it was all great and he was happy been telling his ex he's leaving me then told me he doesn't love me we've been together about 14 months

OP posts:
PinkButtercups · 29/05/2022 10:19

Sack him right off!

How dare he want to use you to his own advantages when you're broken.
What a disgusting piece of shit he really is. He doesn't love you he just wants a fuck.

Block, delete and move on.

Whatever00 · 29/05/2022 10:19

He is being very clear. He wants a fuck buddy. He doesn't want a relationship. I don't believe for a second that he loves you. He is saying whatever he needs to say to keep you on the hook so he can get laid when he wants. Tell him that you aren't prepared to be a fuck buddy. You would prefer to be single. Then stick to it. Don't engage with him. He wants you for one thing only.

ATadConfused · 29/05/2022 10:20

This has been going on a week now? God give me strength.

just tell him, you're no friend/buddy & you're not going to get to fuck me anymore, you don't love me, you love thinking I can't cope without you. Leave me alone or I'll be reporting you for sexual harassment you twat.

see friends/redecorate your bedroom, do anything but give this bastard head space, let alone your body!

TheFeistyFeminist · 29/05/2022 10:31

Eat something. Have a long soak in a warm bath if you can. Then message him back to say "No, your offer of FWB is of no interest to me. We aren't friends. I refuse to be friends with someone who treats people the way you've treated me." Block him, and move on with your life.