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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

He still wants it

69 replies

Relaxing2 · 28/05/2022 21:04

My partners left me told me he doesn't love me anymore but wants to come around and fuck me and fuck me off every now and then I'm broke

OP posts:
Original poster
Relaxing2 · 29/05/2022 11:00

All this happened 4 weeks ago when this was said and he left me 1 week ago He told me I'm not the women he thought I was I'm 12 stone told him I'm trying to lose to weight due to me feeling insecure he said ok said I'm lazy I don't go anywhere I'm fucked up cuz I suffer with anxiety and I have anxiety attacks I hide myself away I used to have a laugh and I don't anymore I said I'm sorry I've been threw a lot and I'm struggling

OP posts:
BlueSuffragette · 29/05/2022 11:05

OP he sounds horrible. He's just using you. I'd block him and just try and move on with your life. You deserve so much more than being a fuck buddy. Maybe tell him to go fuck himself. Take care. xx

Onwards22 · 29/05/2022 11:18

Just block him.

Why do you want all of the drama!

He’s told you he only wants to be friends with benefits so either accept that or don’t.

You are just as bad as him for putting up with it.

over50andfab · 29/05/2022 11:27

In the kindest possible way at the moment he has control of your feelings and not in a good way. It’s really important that you take back that control and as you do this you will start to feel better about yourself.

How about filling the rest of today with doing things for you - what do you enjoy doing? Try to do anything that will take your mind off him such as seeing family or friends and talking about other things. A bath with candles and good music?

wellhelloitsme · 29/05/2022 11:28

Relaxing2 · 29/05/2022 11:00

All this happened 4 weeks ago when this was said and he left me 1 week ago He told me I'm not the women he thought I was I'm 12 stone told him I'm trying to lose to weight due to me feeling insecure he said ok said I'm lazy I don't go anywhere I'm fucked up cuz I suffer with anxiety and I have anxiety attacks I hide myself away I used to have a laugh and I don't anymore I said I'm sorry I've been threw a lot and I'm struggling

You'll be a lot less anxious when you stop engaging with this absolute cunt.

He's literally told you that he just wants to use you for sex.

You clearly (rightly) don't want to be used by him as and when he wants to shag you, with no emotional connection, care or kindness.

Block this dickhead. Eat something. Seek some counselling to work through your grief for your previous partner, why you've allowed the new one to remain in your life and start building your boundaries back up.

Do you have any dependents you need to take care of at the moment? If so can you confide in a friend / family member and ask for some help while you work on doing the above?

CaptSkippy · 29/05/2022 11:53

OP, I am really sorry this has happened to you. No one deserves to be treated like that.

Please, eject this toxic waste dump of a man out of your life. Block and delete him on everything and allow your mind to recover. I think you'll find that once he is no longer an influence in your life your anxiety will improve with leaps and bounds. However, seeing a therapist will likely help you a lot too.

romany4 · 29/05/2022 11:57

Well he can fuck off can't he?
Block him and move on with your life

TabithaTittlemouse · 29/05/2022 11:58

Stop allowing him to speak to you like this and please don’t sleep with him.
Say no and then block him on everything.

TabithaTittlemouse · 29/05/2022 11:58

Btw say no and mean no

KettrickenSmiled · 29/05/2022 12:17

Whenever you aren’t sure what the right answer should be with this guy go for “fuck off”.
😂😂😂

@XmasElf10 this is the best thing I've seen on MN this month.

madasawethen · 29/05/2022 12:44

Why haven't you blocked him yet?

Just because someone says the words I love you, doesn't mean they mean it.
Plenty of men say it to get sex.

Blaze1886 · 29/05/2022 12:46

Sounds like he wants a side ride

Block him

Original poster
Relaxing2 · 31/05/2022 08:27

Yea

OP posts:
ZekeZeke · 31/05/2022 08:31

Have you blocked him?
If not, do it now.

Original poster
Relaxing2 · 31/05/2022 08:37

I've not spoken to him he's tried to ring me a few times I've not answered I'm just stuck that he would even treat me this way
Well they said things that could be unsaid he's treated me back that can't be forgotten I'll let some other mug be treated like that I gave him 1000% and more and all the Time it was for nothing that's one selfish bastards MOVE

OP posts:
Beamur · 31/05/2022 08:38

He's a weasel and not worth your energy.
Reply once, tell him that you don't want to hear from him again. As far as you're concerned it's all over.
Then block him. Stop following him on social media.
Today is the first day of a better life. Honest.
Have a bath, make some toast, get dressed and go outside.
Cut this emotional vampire out of your life.

Zpoa · 31/05/2022 08:40

Why aren't you blocking him. Don't let him fuck with you anymore OP.

Branleuse · 31/05/2022 08:41

Im sure he bloody does!!
Tell him that whilst its heartwarming to know that he'd still like to use you as a whore, youre going to have to decline his incredibly generous offer

ladydimitrescu · 31/05/2022 08:43

Havent you just started another thread asking if you're possibly pregnant?

Oh op - what are you doing?!

wellhelloitsme · 31/05/2022 08:49

OP you have a child, who lost his father not long ago. This is already an incredibly difficult time for him and no doubt navigating single parenthood after the loss of your partner has brought its own huge challenges.

Please walk away from the man who wants to use you like a sex vending machine and focus on your child, focus on healing and don't date in the meantime.

He wants to chip away at your self respect until you have so little that before you know it you'll have wasted 5 / 10+ years being used by him and getting nothing in return but anxiety and self loathing.

For your child's sake, it's time to take control and stop even considering this, stop talking to him!

ZekeZeke · 31/05/2022 08:53

Relaxing2 · 31/05/2022 08:37

I've not spoken to him he's tried to ring me a few times I've not answered I'm just stuck that he would even treat me this way
Well they said things that could be unsaid he's treated me back that can't be forgotten I'll let some other mug be treated like that I gave him 1000% and more and all the Time it was for nothing that's one selfish bastards MOVE

Take the advice of every woman here and BLOCK him. He isn't good for you. Why haven't you blocked him?

LetHimHaveIt · 31/05/2022 08:54

I don't know why your head is 'battered'.

It's very straightforward.

He's a dickturd. Tell him to fuck off and block him on everything.

Original poster
Relaxing2 · 31/05/2022 08:59

Yea I have but we was fine 2 weeks ago when we slept together well I thought we was but he didn't he left me last week and I'm worried cuz I haven't come on

OP posts:
Jimmyneutronsforehead · 31/05/2022 09:01

Tell him to fuck off then block the cunt.

wellhelloitsme · 31/05/2022 09:02

Ok but you're not 'fine' now. And you have a child OP. Who is likely struggling with losing his dad very, very recently.

He needs his mum to be emotionally present and as secure and robust as possible.

You cannot be those things while agonising a man who has told you he wants to treat you as an unpaid prostitute.

For your sons sake you need to block this man and disengage completely. It's madness to keep taking to him.

You want to put your son first, right? Then block this bloke and focus on your son and working through your grief together.