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Original poster

Deflated piles/skin tags affecting sex life

97 replies

AnonymousAli · 28/05/2022 10:24

Hoping to be reassured this is something other people suffer with!
I am early thirties and have suffered with mild constipation throughout my life, not something that causes any pain, but I just generally don’t “go” very often.
As a result of this I have had external haemorrhoids a few times. Each time obviously stretching the skin around my bum and then deflating, but leaving the horrible bits of skin left.
Not necessarily a skin tag as they usually have a little narrow stalk at the base, there’s no way I could tie a bit of cotton around these!!😂I never feel clean after going to the loo as there’s so many crevices!! Maybe 3 blueberry sized bits of skin around my bum.
I am single and this really affects my confidence as it’s not something talked about very often. The thought of men seeing them and being horrified really makes me never want to go near anyone ever again.
I believe this isn’t something covered on NHS as it is deemed cosmetic.
Anyone else?!

OP posts:
ofwarren · 28/05/2022 10:35

I have this but it's never bothered me.
My DH has never said anything and to be honest, he doesn't often take a look at my arsehole Confused

Lookingoutside · 28/05/2022 11:51

@ofwarren

You think he doesn’t see your arsehole?

OP you’re correct in that removal is classed as a cosmetic procedure. Could you go private? Maybe get a quote and see where you are.

littlejellyfish · 28/05/2022 11:54

Fairly sure it won’t be remotely visible during sex

Pinkbonbon · 28/05/2022 12:03

I've had one massive bastard for about 3 years now (got it whilst dieting and eating more fibre sent me to the toilet twice per day instead of just once over maybe the course of a month. So not constipation that caused it funnily enough).

I have no interest in men putting their face I my fudd so I don't see when any of them would notice tbh. If it bothers you that much and you don't want to tell them about it then skip oral sex and theyll probably be none the wiser.

Tbh at 30+, they've provably dated women with piles before anyway. Heck, they may even them themselves.

As for not feeling clean, can you invest in a bidet?

AthenaPopodopolous · 28/05/2022 12:14

This is hilarious! I think men are dirty bastards and usually want anal or to lick you down there. No wonder it’s making you want to avoid sex.

Hoppinggreen · 28/05/2022 12:17

AthenaPopodopolous · 28/05/2022 12:14

This is hilarious! I think men are dirty bastards and usually want anal or to lick you down there. No wonder it’s making you want to avoid sex.

I think you need to mix with a greater variety of men

wishingitwasfriday · 28/05/2022 12:19

You all realise that if a man is 'doing you from behind' then he'll have a very clear view of your asshole, don't you?

ExtraOnion · 28/05/2022 12:27

If it’s a decent man he won’t say anything, or think any less of you.
if he’s not a decent man, his opinion won’t matter.

good luck finding a decent one .. and hope you manage to put money away for an operation (if that’s what you want)

I gave a similar situation, brought on by pregnancy - my husband has never mentioned it.

DorritLittle · 28/05/2022 12:32

I'd like to know how to fix this too. For a friend...

Pinkbonbon · 28/05/2022 12:39

Certainly don't try to shove them back in whatever you do xD Your butts just like 'I got rid of this (part of my) asshole ages ago, stop trying to shove it back up there'

Think an op is pretty much all you can do. But(t) then surely they could still come back? I'm gonna hang off (thats what they said) until I'm older and see if any more show up. One I can deal with for now. 3...I think I'd be up the surgery, arse in the air.

TheVolturi · 28/05/2022 12:40

Christ some prudes on here! Nothing disgusting or dirty about your partner wanting to give you oral sex or even anal, if its something you both want then that's great! It obviously bothers the op, she wants to feel confident about all of her body.

DorritLittle · 28/05/2022 12:42

@Pinkbonbon 😄

Pinkbonbon · 28/05/2022 12:44

TheVolturi · 28/05/2022 12:40

Christ some prudes on here! Nothing disgusting or dirty about your partner wanting to give you oral sex or even anal, if its something you both want then that's great! It obviously bothers the op, she wants to feel confident about all of her body.

Nothing disgusting about someone licking a persons junk...really? xD of course its disgusting. We just don't tend to think much about it. I don't think it makes someone a prude to point out that most sex acts are kinda gross. It's facts mate. We just do them anyway because they feel good.

Louise0701 · 28/05/2022 12:44

@AthenaPopodopolous you must have an extremely sheltered sex life and a very bizarre view on sex

polkadotpixie · 28/05/2022 12:45

I wouldn't rule out this being done on the NHS, I think it must vary by trust as I work in colorectal surgery and we do anal skin tags all the time, on the NHS

TheVolturi · 28/05/2022 12:47

Pinkbonbon · 28/05/2022 12:44

Nothing disgusting about someone licking a persons junk...really? xD of course its disgusting. We just don't tend to think much about it. I don't think it makes someone a prude to point out that most sex acts are kinda gross. It's facts mate. We just do them anyway because they feel good.

Show quote history

Oral sex is disgusting?

Badger1970 · 28/05/2022 12:48

My arsehole looks like a bunch of grapes I've got so many external piles. I just make sure I use a pile cream with hydrocortisone in as it shrinks them, and I've honestly never been bothered by the appearance of them. There's nothing I can do about it so why stress over it.

But I do use moist toilet wipes/baby wipes for hygiene.

Pinkbonbon · 28/05/2022 12:49

And on that same vein, dicks and fannies and arseholes are not cute. They aren't meant to be. You can stick all the fanny glitter on you like and shave your pubes into hearts, it still isn't going to make our junk look anything less like a fanny or a penis or whatever your working with. If it does the job, who cares.

FridaynightCry · 28/05/2022 13:14

I dont think a guy would be bothered if I'm honest.

Thinking about it, DP and I and into anal play (sorry if TMI) and if I had the same it wouldn't bother him.

If surgery would help your confidence then definitely look into it and it might be more affordable than you think

me4real · 28/05/2022 13:41

This is hilarious! I think men are dirty bastards and usually want anal or to lick you down there. No wonder it’s making you want to avoid sex

Well they can fuck right off. Even if they want it, that's no reason why every woma has to do it if they don't want. I don't think a woman not liking anal or being rimmed would put most blokes off. A lot of women aren't into that and their partners are fine with it as they still get plenty of sexual activities, or they might even like their partner/date as a person too.

Oral sex is disgusting?

@TheVolturi To be fair, a lot of people would find the idea of rimming or being rimmed gross, or it'd make them feel self conscious. It's not like vaginal oral sex. And any act might not be a person's cup of tea and that's fine. A lot of people don't get any pleasure out of rimming or being rimmed.

Painintheass22 · 28/05/2022 13:42

Snap!!

I could have literally wrote ur post OP!!

20 years and counting I’ve had mine. Have had the banded but still there. So so fed up with them. And that’s an understatement. Have to shower(if I’m at home) after every bowel movement, and if not at home I feel so unclean until I do. Really affecting my sex life with partner as he doesn’t know about them.

would love surgery but the pain is meant to be excruciating and I had just read an old post on her a couple of days ago from a man who had surgery done and his post sent shivers down my spine. When I got banded recently I was told by the lady doing it that the external ones and the skin tag would need surgery but to think very very carefully about that option as there can be so many complications 😫 at my wits end too.

me4real · 28/05/2022 13:43

@AnonymousAli You could ask your GP if the NHS will do it- no harm in asking. They probably would do it if it's severe enough or having a severe impact on the person's life.

Theanswersarewithin · 28/05/2022 14:01

I have a skin tag/deflated pile thing from childbirth. I went to the gp about it and she basically said they can do surgery to remove it but she advised that the healing process is pretty awful (as you can imagine the area is difficult heal as it’s constantly being used 🙈)

mine causes me no pain but a bit of embarrassment. I’ve told hubby I’m shy about it and he has been nothing but a gentleman.

the right man will love you as you are xx

Lookingoutside · 28/05/2022 14:16

‘And on that same vein, dicks and fannies and arseholes are not cute.’

Mine are stunning.

‘…then skip oral sex and theyll probably be none the wiser.’

Do WHAT ?! How?

LuckyLinda3 · 28/05/2022 14:19

Gosh sometimes its harsh on here, just wanted to sympathise. I dont have the same issue but your feelings are your feelings and I just wanted to say I hope you find a way to move forward with this, best of luck x

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