Deflated piles/skin tags affecting sex life

[AnonymousAli]

Hoping to be reassured this is something other people suffer with!
I am early thirties and have suffered with mild constipation throughout my life, not something that causes any pain, but I just generally don’t “go” very often.
As a result of this I have had external haemorrhoids a few times. Each time obviously stretching the skin around my bum and then deflating, but leaving the horrible bits of skin left.
Not necessarily a skin tag as they usually have a little narrow stalk at the base, there’s no way I could tie a bit of cotton around these!!😂I never feel clean after going to the loo as there’s so many crevices!! Maybe 3 blueberry sized bits of skin around my bum.
I am single and this really affects my confidence as it’s not something talked about very often. The thought of men seeing them and being horrified really makes me never want to go near anyone ever again.
I believe this isn’t something covered on NHS as it is deemed cosmetic.
Anyone else?!

I had the same problem caused by childbirth, I was referred to colorectal general surgery at my 6 week post natal appointment. Had the surgery 6 months later in mid April just gone. First week after surgery was bloody agony, worse than childbirth, never again. Second week uncomfortable but manageable. I'm now 5 weeks post surgery, fully recovered, no problems, smooth smooth bumhole 😋
So yes, some trusts will do it for you, key points seemed to be that it was affecting hygiene and was painful /uncomfortable for daily life. HTH

I have these and a huge episiotomy scar from when I had my dd 19 years ago. To be honest it’s never bothered me at all. I mean no ones arse is the prettiest of things is it? I’m not one for anything anal and if a bloke tried to do anything to that end I’d just be off to be honest - although been with dh 15 years now and so don’t have to worry about that anyway! But yeah I think you need to change your mindset. Anyone who fancies you enough to get that close to you shouldn’t be put off but little things like that. And if they are then they’re horrible anyway.

Some of these comments haven’t half made me laugh😂 I didn’t expect such a response!

I can’t say I’m into any anal play!! But I find men always want to bend you over 🐶 style and there’s no avoiding seeing it then.

I’d have to overcome my anxiety of even mentioning it to my GP (I know they see it all the time but it’s still embarrassing). Is there anything that… shrinks skin??? 😂😂😂😂

If you're not going very often maybe try more fibre?

Sigh, I have one from childbirth too. It’s awful isn’t it? I did recently see a celeb (I think paloma faith?) talk about her removal and she said if she had known how painful the recovery was she wouldn’t have bothered.

@Pinkbonbon you made me laugh 🤣

I must admit at first glance:
I've had one massive bastard for about 3 years now
...I just assumed you meant a bloke. Seems to account for a high proportion of MN posts 😎

You can get little bands that tie them off and the drop off after a few weeks at blueberry size i would only do 1 at a time

That's what caused mine!

Buy maybe if you also increase water consumption it'll be fine.

I have these from childbirth. I looked into removal, but it's expensive has a high rate of infection and they often come back - according to my surgeon. I know a friend who had it done and she agreed and had all the negatives my surgeon pointed out. My ex husband wasn't fazed and I've slept with two people since my divorce. Neither were bother, but anal play is out of the question for me due to this issue.

I had to have surgery on my arsehole not for piles but for something else and it now looks like BoJo. It would win first place in a lookalike contest because it's now bloated, bright pink, puffy and ill defined 😳

It doesn't affect my sex at all though and I don't think my O/H has ever noticed and his face spends a lot of time buried in my crotch region.

No one has a perfect body, when the time comes you partner may also have skin tags or plies himself and be worried about what you are going to think.

I have psoriasis in that region (v.bad), and previous surgery for rectal prolapse/ haemorrhoidectomy. It would be fair to say my rear end looks like a nuclear accident. I have surgical staples that you can still see traces of (I look like my bottom has braces). It bleeds, and it doesn't look too pretty. I have scar tissue. I've never had a sexual partner since my operation who saw it as a problem. I am clean for health reasons (given skin condition) and tell anyone daring to venture about what to expect...never had anyone faint on me, and I am not letting it get in the way of fun times. Anyone who is horrified would make my ladyparts zip shut permanently.

Mine were always much worse with fibre.
Water helped.

But what really helped was surgery. To be honest I was miserable and self conscious so it was a no brainer.
Had the op about 5 years ago now - not available on the NHS - not deemed bad enough I guess despite spending every evening squirming - one benefit was it turned me into an exerciseaholic as that gave some relief from the discomfort.

Anyway, the aftermath of surgery was agony. The thought of doing a poo brought me put in cold sweats and I took me about half an hour to recover from the trauma each time. Took about 5 days post op to actually do one, then about a week of agony and then another 2-3 weeks of slow recovery.

But I'd do it all again in a heart beat as I've had 5 years with no symptoms at all and happy to be viewed from behind 😊

Is there anything that… shrinks skin???

Have you tried Preparation H? But defiinitely see your doc if you'd like them removed.

But I find men always want to bend you over 🐶 style and there’s no avoiding seeing it then.

I honestly think @AnonymousAli , that this might well be one of those things that's far more noticeable to you than other people- not as noticeable to others as you think it might be.

Also, only have any sex position if you want it, not because a bloke wants it. x

Thank you all for your comments, it’s definitely helped knowing this is a fairly common issue!!!!
Surgery does sound agonising so I guess weighing up my confidence against the pain needs some consideration…

I wouldn’t try to band these, they are a full bulge with no stalk so I’d probably cause some serious damage and make myself incontinent or something 😂

BoJo😂😂😂 brilliant.

Do you mind me asking how much you paid??

🤣

I had a partner who had painful piles and they weren't noticeable to me at all. This was before rimming became a mainstream thing and I never spread his butt cheeks and conducted a medical examination.

I don't think it would be so common for women to notice a man's piles.
But doggy position is very common (surely!) so hard to miss from that viewpoint.

@AnonymousAli I think about £3000. I had medical insurance at the time which paid but I wouldn't hesitate to pay out of my own pocket if I need it again.

Wow I didn’t expect it to be that steep! I thought maybe around half that 😂

Back on here as still having bum anxiety. Does anusol help shrink the skin left over after piles at all? Even a little bit? Or just the actual active piles!!!