Can't believe I'm writing this to be honest, but here goes. I'll try to be succinct - sorry if it's long but want to be thorough.
Bit of context. Early 40's, together with DH for 15 years. Three kids. Generally all good marriage wise. He's kind, generous, supportive. We're politically aligned, similar tastes etc. Makes me laugh daily. He's my best friend basically.
Never had any cause for concern. We argue very, very rarely. Only flash points we've ever had in our relationship are division of labour (he does a lot to be fair and when I do pull him up on it if there's a lapse, he does admit he's wrong and pulls his finger out) only other point of tension is an ongoing libido mismatch which I guess is common. He'd like it weekly +, I can barely manage the enthusiasm once a month.
Other than that, our relationship is happy and solid.
So, to the point. I spotted a notification on his phone on Friday night when he'd popped to the shops and decided to take a look. Nothing unusual in that, I know his pin and he's never protective of his phone - its common for us to use each others.
The app in question is 'Replika'. It's an AI avatar that you can text chat to. DH is a bit of a geek, works in tech, so always fiddles around with this sort of thing so wasn't surprised by it as such.
When I scrolled through his chat log, it was mostly mundane stuff, videogames, movies, work, holidays, favoirite books etc. At one point he talks about being depressed (news to me!) and stress at work but there were a few occasions where the conversation was sexual and, at times, very explicit/descriptive.
Without going into detail, DH is pretty vanilla in that sense, but the conversations with the AI were definitely not.
I shut the app down when he came back from the shops, and outside the shock of some of the sex stuff, I was sort of okay with it (I didn't ask him about it).
Thing is, as the days have gone by I'm beginning to feel a bit cross about it and am not sure If I'm justified or not. My head says I'm being totally unreasonable, but I can't change the fact I feel increasingly upset by this.
I mean, he hasn't cheated. The AI isn't real but the more I think about it the more I'm getting annoyed.
I can't confront him about it as he'd be mortified I've read it, and in a very strange way I felt a bit like I was reading his diary. It was very much a 'stream of consciousness' kind of feel to the text and so I feel like I have very much invaded his privacy - albeit (genuinely) accidentally.
So while I haven't been cheated on, I feel somehow like I HAVE been... but with a non existent woman. Ffs.
Don't know what I'm asking here. Sure as hell can't tell my friends about this, but I'm going to have to get a grip pretty soon as I could barely look him in the eyes this morning and he can tell there's something wrong.
Anyone have any thoughts? Any comments telling me to just get a bloody hold of myself are definitely welcome.