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Relationships

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Difficulty in moving on

6 replies

tawaanchu · 17/05/2022 01:19

Hi all. So I’m a 23 year old guy and I’m very new to dating. I have never had any gf before. I’m a typical nerd have always taken my career seriously, even though I’m very social and have tons of female friends. I’m come from a very conservative background.

So I was talking to this girl for around 6 months. We started talking on instagram,realised that we attended same school, even though we live in different cities. We exchanged numbers and started talking everyday for hours. We spent countless nights talking to each other for hours. We used to text pretty much everyday. I finally told her that I would like to get to know her and see a future with her and she said she would like to know me as well and see if there is something here. However, she immediately warned me that she has phases where she disappears and needs time for herself. She also told me that guys previously have called her selfish because of this but that’s how she is. I did not take this seriously that time.

We finally met after 3 months of talking and the first date went okayish, even though I was extremely nervous. We did not initiate anything physical as we come from conservative religious backgrounds. However around one week after our first date, she literally deleted all her social media for a week and did not respond to my message or call.

When she came back online and I called her, she told me that she has been having a very hard time mentally and it’s not about me at all, she also apologised for acting this way. I told her that I have feelings for this and asked her if she saww us together at some point, to this she said she does not know.

Gradually texts and calls became less. I recently planned another trip to visit her and I travelled all the way to her city, we spent two days together. We had a great time and even she said it was quite fun. At the end of our long date, I asked her that I would like to see her more and we could build on something very beautiful in future. To this she said that ‘she will think about it’. I also told her that I have a crush on her and would appreciate if she will let me know sooner. She said she will let me know.

We kept on talking for another few days but she then again disappeared. She deleted her social media for few days but then she came back. I noticed that her she blocked me from viewing her Instagram stories. I found it quite weird. I did not double text her after as I thought she has no interest in me. However she now again unblocked me from viewing her stories and began posting again. I’m not sure if this is a coincidence or not but whenever I post something, she immediately sees it and posts something too.

I don’t know if I should text her or not. I know this all sounds very silly but I really like this girl very much and it has been affecting me :( I’m also very naive at dating so any advice would be great

OP posts:
ElenaSt · 17/05/2022 01:22

How are you still at school when you are 23?

ElenaSt · 17/05/2022 01:23

Move on as life is too short to be spent on playing games with someone. She is t interested.

FairyLightPups · 17/05/2022 01:26

ElenaSt · 17/05/2022 01:22

How are you still at school when you are 23?

People in the US call university 'school'

Aquamarine1029 · 17/05/2022 01:30

At the end of our long date, I asked her that I would like to see her more and we could build on something very beautiful in future.

FFS, this is so over the top, inappropriate, and way too much, way too soon. You're probably scaring the hell out of her. Neither one of you sound mature enough for an adult relationship.

Watchkeys · 17/05/2022 01:43

You sound desperate. Do you think she's your only chance of happiness?

tawaanchu · 17/05/2022 07:45

We had already been talking for over 6 months now and I just wanted to get more serious so I asked her this. This is what advice I got from my friends! :(

Anyways I’m not sure now if I should just text her back now. I have strong feelings for her and I keep thinking about it

OP posts:
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