Newly weds - drug problem

[Confused146]

this is my first ever post and hoping for advice and guidance 🙂
i have been with my partner for 8 years. When we first met there were a couple of issues/arguments around him using coke at a weekend, all night parties etc. thankfully things settled down and 1year ago we got married.

Since getting hitched he has had 3x 24hour drug sessions, has taken loans out without telling me, lied about where is he, come home with lipstick on his neck, spent the night at a female friends house in the same bed. the arguments can be quite nasty and he mimics me when I’m upset. He thinks everything is a big joke. He resents that I now earn more and can never be happy for me.

he has had help from his gp for low mood but only stuck at the tablets for a few weeks. He isn’t interested in getting any help.

im exhausted and feel that everything is broken. I can’t see any way back from the lies and don’t think he will ever change.

BUT …. He’s my best friend and I love him.

what do I do?

The coke is surely just one feature of an absolute shit show that includes lying, cheating, financial abuse and verb abuse?

does that help you OP for advice and guidance?

if not I’ll be more succinct. This is completely and utterly shit.

What makes you think he loves you?

What makes you think he will change?
What makes you think this is the best you deserve in life?

He’s my best friend and I love him. what do I do?

Ask yourself why you love a man like that?

Get out now, and for God's sake don't pregnant.

He doesn't love, respect, or give a shot about you.

Get. Out. Now.

You ask what can you do.

Ask yourself what on earth you get out of this ' relationship '.

I am so sorry.

You are looking down the barrel of this gun.

Know that this is what is likely going on.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/4545841-escorts-and-drugs

He is not your best friend.

You need to get out and stay out.

He’s a mess.

Sex, coke, debt, cheating, lying, abuse all goes together .

Run.
He thinks he's got you right where he wants you.

What can you do?
Learn to value yourself, find your self respect.
Stop allowing this waster to treat you in this dreadfully disrespectful way.
Stop loving him, because he doesn’t love you.
If you haven’t got children, don’t get pregnant with him.
Plan to leave and divorce him.
Look forward to a better life without him.

What is is you love about him?

Does his behaviour indicate that he loves you?

Why waste your time on this person, why you can find someone who appreciates you, and loves you back.
l

He loves drugs and partying more than you and he makes the choice to take drugs and shag other women. You're not his best friend.

You may love him. Coke users have a best friend and it's their dealer.

Only you can decide what to do, but personally I would be heading over the hills and far away from him.

He doesn't love you, nor respect you.

Start respecting yourself and get rid.

Why is your relationship bar this low?. What did you learn about relationships when growing up?.

How can you describe him as your best friend?. True friends do not do this to each other at all. He has no respect for you as his wife or as a person. And as for you loving him have you basically confused love here with codependency?. Why are his needs apparently more important than your own?.

He is already and will further drag you down with him. Is he really what you deserve from a relationship?.

You love that? Why? He clearly doesn't love you.

Being afraid and sad about change /endings is not love.

Don’t get pregnant.

sorry this has happened to you. You need to leave - love is not enough. He’s lying, cheating and is financially, sexually and socially u reliable. You might be the most beautiful and intelligent person on earth but it isn’t enough.

You really should have left when you first experienced drug issues with him. You ignored that massive red flag waving right in front of you. The only thing would be to leave.

He's not your best friend. He has no respect for you.
Think about the future you will have with this person.

What do you do?

You get out.

Then you get some therapy to find out why you are setting the bar so low that you are falling for a man who is a lying, cheating drug user.

you do not get pregnant. Divorce him

So he does drugs and clearly cheated. bin him off

Sadly you are not HIS best friend. Put your big girl pants on and RUN, its wont get any better.

hes not your best friend , your best friend wouldn’t lie to you , mimick you or hurt you.
sorry if that’s harsh

If he is your best friend, then you need to make some kinder friends. After dumping him.

Best friends do not mimick you, resent your success, lie to you, or abuse your trust.

You deserve much better!

dump his sorry coke filled arse over a cliff

It will only get worse. Secret loans suggest debt, gambling, drugs, extravagant lifestyle ... Don't let him drag you down with him.