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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Would you go out with a short man?

371 replies

Maverick2022 · 06/05/2022 21:54

Not the most PC question, but....

Would you go out with a relatively short man eg I'm just under 5'6" and he's the same.

I've never gone out with a man the same height as me before, the prospect feels a bit odd. He's also v lightly built, which seems to emphasise it.

I've read that men routi eyes lie anoit height on dating sites etc due to mNy women's feelings about this/preferences etc.

How do you feel about it?

OP posts:
PumpkinsandKittens · 07/05/2022 12:15

Average women are not models 🙄

Purplehonesty2 · 07/05/2022 12:17

No I wouldn't. I went on a date with someone who claimed to be 5'10 but he wasn't and I was walking up the stairs behind him thinking I'm sure those jeans would fit me! No thanks.

Im 5'2 and dh is 6'4 - just perfect for me. I like big tall men!! Dh is the tallest guy I've been out with.

Louise0701 · 07/05/2022 12:19

I wouldn’t. I just don’t find it attractive.

webseb · 07/05/2022 12:20

PumpkinsandKittens · 07/05/2022 12:15

Average women are not models 🙄

So you're talking about average looking tall women only 😅. Plenty of good looking tall people who are not models.

PumpkinsandKittens · 07/05/2022 12:22

It’s like the argument on here of famous short men who don’t struggle to get women, yeh there is a reason for that! The same way most average tall women don’t look like super models, ime tall men (and men in general) prefer petite women, no need to get upset about it.

VintageGibbon · 07/05/2022 12:32

webseb · 07/05/2022 02:05

Has anyone else received a private message on the back of this thread quoting what they've said here and asking if they want to discuss? Finding it a bit creepy, especially as it's an unused username. Reported and blocked anyway.

I had one but it wasn't creepy or requesting discussion, just a straight question. I replied to it. No further chat. May not have been the same person.

TheFallenMadonna · 07/05/2022 12:33

Same height as me, no problem. I'm 5'11" ish, so they wouldn't be short. DH is about an inch taller.

StopStartStop · 07/05/2022 12:39

If a man is attractive to me, I see him as much taller than he is.
This starts at first sight, before I realise I fancy him, so it's probably hormonal.
By 'tall' - a really attractive man can look 7'6" to me.

So how tall (or not) they are in reality doesn't matter at all. It amuses me how they shrink when I go off them. There's a 6'4" who is now 5'9".

And no, if a person is actually tall, it doesn't make me fancy them.
This is some weird thing going on in my body, but it's been happening at least fifty years so I'm used to it.

webseb · 07/05/2022 12:44

@VintageGibbon

It might not have been the same person then. Mine was quoting one of my posts (my preference, particularly) and asking if we could talk about it. It was also an unused username. Someone else said they were contacted too.

It was probably harmless enough! It could have been worse. Mumsnet swiftly replied to my report. Bit creepy though.

ParisNoir · 07/05/2022 12:50

PumpkinsandKittens · 07/05/2022 12:22

It’s like the argument on here of famous short men who don’t struggle to get women, yeh there is a reason for that! The same way most average tall women don’t look like super models, ime tall men (and men in general) prefer petite women, no need to get upset about it.

I'm tall. Have never had an issue attracting men. Ever. Ive always had my pick of men. The only guys who have ever said anything negative about my height were very short men and that was clearly about their own insecurity rather than anything to do with me.

webseb · 07/05/2022 12:51

The same way most average tall women don’t look like super models, ime tall men (and men in general) prefer petite women, no need to get upset about it

I'm average height at 5ft 5, so being neither tall or small it's not personal, and not in the least upset! I'm guessing you're petite though 😉

We'll have to disagree. 5ft petite, and of average appearance, preferred by 6ft and over, sounds like nonsense. I've never come across that, though I'm certain it occasionally is the case.

Oblomov22 · 07/05/2022 12:53

Never an issue for me because I'm only 5'2".

webseb · 07/05/2022 12:53

Yes Parisnoir it's only ever the short men I've ever seen denigrate taller women.

ParisNoir · 07/05/2022 12:55

webseb · 07/05/2022 12:53

Yes Parisnoir it's only ever the short men I've ever seen denigrate taller women.

This has been my experience my whole life. I've always been chased by tall guys and the only negativity ive experienced with regard to height has always been men under around 5'6".

cushioncovers · 07/05/2022 13:04

I'm 5'2" so 5'6" would be no problem for me.

SmallThingsEverywhere · 07/05/2022 13:08

PumpkinsandKittens · 07/05/2022 12:22

It’s like the argument on here of famous short men who don’t struggle to get women, yeh there is a reason for that! The same way most average tall women don’t look like super models, ime tall men (and men in general) prefer petite women, no need to get upset about it.

Not in my experience 😂. Taller women tend to have long legs that many men find attractive. They also seem to carry weight better than shorter women of the same weight, who can look stout or squat.

PumpkinsandKittens · 07/05/2022 13:15

I’m 5ft 4, so not petite, but it’s the same way that in general men prefer slim women (I’m overweight) I don’t get upset that most men (and women!) prefer slim it’s just a general thing and ime very tall guys 6ft + have a preference for petite/small women

Soffit · 07/05/2022 13:18

Not a chance in hell. There is plenty of choice around so why date somebody who will make you feel like a butch rugby player and attract strange looks and even ridicule whenever you step out together.

I think that the Jonas guy (I cannot remember which) and Tom Holland really don't do any favours to their stunning partners public images. They may care deeply about each other but there is always a set of people you would be equally as compatible with and some will be taller than you.

Soffit · 07/05/2022 13:19

I meant the Jonas with Sophie Turner btw although the other Jonas also has a large partner.

TheVolturi · 07/05/2022 13:19

I'm only 5ft2 so most men are taller than me, but I do prefer men to be significantly taller than me as I find it more manly. I don't think it matters what we think op it's down to how you feel.

Anonanonon · 07/05/2022 13:19

@PumpkinsandKittens actually studies show that men don't really care that much about height - at least compared to women. Its far more of a non-issue to them, in general.

Its possible tall men specifically prefer tiny women, I suppose. If so, anecdotally, it tends to be because both partners like the trope of "me big tall protector man and you small, dainty, feminine woman". So not sure its entirely healthy, from a feminist point of view but whatever.

I'd say age is a more accurate comparison, given your observation that "dating isn't fair" and people have the right to be attracted to whatever they want. The "Men in their 40s" thread is full of examples of this - where being young is set as a premium for middle-aged men. But, from your perspective, they are equally under no obligation to date anyone the same age or older and if that's what they're attracted to then that's just hard cheese for older women.

RNG1 · 07/05/2022 13:27

It’s not something that’s ever bothered me. I’m 5’1 and married to someone much taller, but I’ve dated someone slightly shorter (5ft men do exist!) and I did find him attractive. It wasn’t going anywhere for other reasons, but other people’s attitudes really did affect me. My female friends of the time said some pretty cruel things framed as just joking around.

angieloumc · 07/05/2022 13:31

I'm only 5'2" so most men are taller than me. The only time height has ever bothered me was when I dated a man who was 6'3" for a while, he was quite broad shouldered too and I just looked ridiculous next to him. If we held hands my arm was bent up like a child's. He did turn out to be a bit of a maniac so it didn't end well.
My three DS's are all 6' but that doesn't seem so quite bad 😂

PumpkinsandKittens · 07/05/2022 13:32

Anonanonon · 07/05/2022 13:19

@PumpkinsandKittens actually studies show that men don't really care that much about height - at least compared to women. Its far more of a non-issue to them, in general.

Its possible tall men specifically prefer tiny women, I suppose. If so, anecdotally, it tends to be because both partners like the trope of "me big tall protector man and you small, dainty, feminine woman". So not sure its entirely healthy, from a feminist point of view but whatever.

I'd say age is a more accurate comparison, given your observation that "dating isn't fair" and people have the right to be attracted to whatever they want. The "Men in their 40s" thread is full of examples of this - where being young is set as a premium for middle-aged men. But, from your perspective, they are equally under no obligation to date anyone the same age or older and if that's what they're attracted to then that's just hard cheese for older women.

Yes I agree that height is less of an issue for men, I think weight is more important to them than height. So slim women. Yes of course it’s tough luck unless you think people should be forced to date anyone to make it “fair” everyone has preferences, I don’t find short men attractive simple as that.

angieloumc · 07/05/2022 13:33

I think as anonanonon has mentioned it often doesn't bother men about heights. My DD's dad was married to someone about his height (5'10"), then was with me and now his current partner is over 6'.