trigger warning
Hi hoping for some advice.
My boyfriend slept over and yesterday morning I had to be up early for work. We kissed when we woke up and were cuddling but I said that I couldn’t do sexual stuff because it would make me late for work. He got on top of me to kiss me and I think cuddle me more but then grinded on me for a few seconds before stopping. This upset me because I made it clear that I didn’t want anything sexual to happen so it felt like this was without my consent.
When we talked about it he was very regretful and apologetic and said he didn’t know why he did it but he didn’t mean for it to be sexual, and because my legs were closed (in my mind because I didn’t want him to grind on me and I wasn’t expecting him to??) and he was higher up than normal it was more grinding on my stomach than on my vagina so it wasn’t meant to be sexual and he was trying to just be intimate with me.
He has been very apologetic but it’s made me feel really unsettled and upset especially because he knows other things have happened to me in the past without consent and I thought I could be safe with him. But on the other hand I feel like maybe I am making a massive deal out of nothing or maybe I am having an over the top reaction because of things that have happened in the past and that I would be silly to mess up an otherwise good relationship over one incident that wasn’t ‘properly’ sexual if that makes sense. I would be very grateful for some advice or comfort please.