Hi,
I don’t really know where to start with this. But here goes. Myself and partner are in our 30s and have been together for 4 years. We have a 2 year old and a 12 year old (from a previous relationship on my side)
When we started dating everything was great. By 9 months in and a big argument where he finished with me over me questioning money worries. He came clean and admitted to having a gambling problem.
Fast forward a couple months and I find out I’m pregnant. I hear all the things I want to. The pregnancy goes well, there’s no gambling and there’s massive improvements with money. Saving up thousands. (In this time we realise there may be a problem with adhd also)
However there is still arguments, over silly things. But his go to is to say he’s done with me.
Fast forward to now, we are still waiting on the official assessment for the adhd.
We are in counselling (through me pushing for it) as the arguments are still big and still once a month.
And to this day his go to is to say, ugh I’m done I can’t be bothered with you anymore etc.
Im just a loss I feel, i want to be strong but I hear he doesn’t want to be with me at least once a month still.
The hard part is when this is said I tell him to go (feeling strong) he’ll go… And either come back at night or he’ll get a hotel. Then the next thing is I hear… “ I didn’t mean it I just don’t want to argue’ etc etc. This has been a cycle for as long as I can remember now.
It’s easy for people to say well just end it but I find myself believing him each time he says he didn’t mean it. And the cycle starts again.
I feel like he says things in counselling then when we argue he says completely different. Almost like he’s not being fully truthful in the sessions.
has anyone had anything similar?!?!