Scared to leave partner, not on mortgage...

[Allforall]

Hi all,

I am really at the end of my tether with the relationship with my partner of three years. My children and I live in his house, he bought. I cannot get on the deeds as I have bad credit I am currently on a payment plan to sort. We are not married. I feel like such a fool as I really believed after a the marriage the to the kids father this current man was the one etc etc...

I feel so scared and vulnerable now as I want to leave but I don't know how to as there is so much competition for any houses that come available to rent. I'd likely need a gauruntor as I currently only work part time as a self employed hair stylist and don't make a lot from this (I'd obviously work much more if I left)

We have bend in this house nearly two years and I don't not want to stay here or want anything feom it, its his and his elder daughters. However I have contributed to food etc, the car and the house being done up a bit (nothing major)

Tbh I am not agyer any money, I'd walk away , I'm just worried about having a place to live for my kids and I. I do not want to go into sheltered accommodation as I know people who have been stuck there for 12 months due to the current housing climate. I would feel dreadful bringing my kids up in a hotel when I haven't even been forced to like my poor friends I know.

I also worry it will leave me vulnerable as mum if I say I am seperating from this partner, as their dad owns his own home. I know he would never want custody, he only has them at weekends, but I worry if he wanted to he could take them from me if I end up effectively seperating from my partner but being stuck here until I find somewhere. I'm probably over thinking all of this but as I say I'm just scared and feel so stuck and alone and angry St myself for not being able to stick it out... But we have tried and just don't work anymore and I dont want that around my kids. I won't live with anyone again after this that's for sure, not until the kids are much older.

Sorry for the epic ramblings. I hope some of you can help with any advice at all? Thank you so much!

Newbie name - because it was a lot to juggle with my children due to their issues. It was my choice but he was all for it and encouraged it. I do wonder if its because it makes me needier. He likes being the provider, he is good to us but I feel vulnerable now and rather stupid...

You need to earn more. Once you have that you can explain to landlords that you are looking for a secure home so you will stay quite some time.

You may have to compromise on the area.

You're not stupid. I think he did want you needier , it's a control thing.

Thanks user and newbie. I have applied for several places today judt to see what's out there and available to me - and I suggested we live apart and see how that goes. He isn't keen on thisbodea which I understand, but I feel he would have more space to address his own problems this way too.

With regards to earnning more : whatever I earn in my work gets deducted in any benifits I receive and therefor still renders me on averaging out at the same sort of income, roughly. I would need to get back to studying to earn a decent wage and that isn't as simple as it seems as I have lots of other things I contend with which make it very tricky to juggle work and children and childcare. I have my degree but the postgrad will have to wait. My kids must come first.