I’m recently out of a long term relationship at 48 (sexless for a number of years and essentially dead for a long time, though we remain good friends and are co-parenting our two teenaged children). Over the last couple of years I have become close to one of the school dads (he’s single) and would like to take things further… but though I suspect I would be in with a good chance, I am paralysed with terror at the thought of making any kind of move. I frequently realise after the event that I ran from a situation that had the potential to lead somewhere, though at the time I was oblivious to the fact that I was doing this.
This is so frustrating, particularly as I am generally thriving: after many years of feeling trapped in a relationship that was not right and living a shadow of the life I wanted, I feel as though a weight has lifted and the world is my oyster; I have spent years locked in on myself but was able to open up to this man in a way I hadn’t to anyone for many years, and this has shown me another way of engaging with the world; I feel better about my appearance than I have for years and am aware of male attention for the first time in ages… I want to seize the opportunities that life throws at me – yet the thought of revealing to this man that I want to shag him senseless terrifies me. I’ve been obsessing about it like a lovesick teenager for months, trying to read every little sign for clues as to his feelings about me, or rehearsing what I might say in particular situations – I desperately need to snap myself out of this with some decisive action…. Please help…