A bit of an awkward question about sex

[3catstoo]

A friend asked me a few days ago, should you let a man come in your mouth? Well I have no experience of this, DH has always warned me so I've never been caught out.

Has anyone done it or does anyone have anything to say on the matter?

Your comments would be really helpful. I feel a bit useless on the subjest.

Thanks

My Mum is the one who suggested it (she is a pensioner), she had those horrid pmply spots on her chest that just wouldn't go and my dad ejeculated over her chest and they fell asleep with it on. The next morning there was a swathe where the semen had been that was clearing up as if bt magic. So they experimented and within 4 days the spots had all gone.

no, it's not a silly suspicion at all, 3catsoo. If a woman is making a man come by rubbing his penis in her cleavage, it is likely that when he comes, it will be towards (or in) her face.

Bottom line is it is not just a case of the man coming in his partners face, or anywhere else for that matter. When two people are involved, coming is a two way process. Men can control where and when they come and women have total control over what is and what is not acceptable for them. Comes back to the same question of consent.

Oral sex/ masturbation are not just a means to an end (ejaculation), they are part of a mutual intimacy, based on trust and intuition. I see what you mean about not knowing why the average sexual encounter would not involve either partner wanting the man to come on the woman's face. It's difficult to know how to explain why both parties might find it pleasurable. In many many cases it will not be. Conversely, it may be something as simple as both partners acting out a fantasy of being in a porn film!

As this thread has eloquently highlighted, there are so many factors involved in this particular conundrum that it really really does come down to personal taste, mutual trust - plus maybe a bit of spontaneity too. in so far as IMO, the greatest part of sexual pleasure is totally losing yourself with your partner, without worrying too much about the clean up operation afterwards!

discover life! what a conversation with your mum.

Thanks again.

Hope I haven't upset anyone with my questions.

This was the only place I thought I could ask them.

I do like Mumsnet - don't know where I'd be without it.

I think Mums could pass on a lot of useful info, if they and we were prepared to talk about it.

I talk to my Mum about sex but I couldn't have talked to her about what this thread was about

Still laughing at the fat lip comment

pmsl@ discover's conversation with mum. I can't imagine my mum telling me my dad spunked on her chest!!!!

me too silkcushion but I think we are all now discovering, as parents ourselves, that parents do get up to the strangest things (although granted, we may not divulge all our experiences in detail to our kids!)

Hopefully we won't be relaying this conversation to our children in years to come .

I'm sure that in 10 years time my children will be able educate me on the subject. Fingers crossed they can't of course.

I might test the spot theory out though, as I have recently developed spots on my chest.

How do I tell DH that I found that one out?!

Lots of intimate conversations with DD but none with DS1 but he does pick up a lot just by being around. No privacy but no hang ups either.

Tell him Mumsnet, my DH just covers his eyes when I start laughing.

DH thinks I sit at home doing nothing all day anyway, if I tell him I've been here he'll find more jobs for me to do !

How old are your DCs

in the world of oral sex, what is the difference between sex, love and showing off??

Spitting, swallowing...and gargling.

Eeeewwwwww!!!

LOL

Mine are DS1 21yo, DD1 20yo, and DS2 10yo, crikey I forgot how old he was then (Ive been putting his age into lots of holiday forms and it has to be his age on travel so Ive been typing lots of 11's lately).

Yours are a bit older than mine, so can probably handle some grown up talk. Mine are 8, 6 and 3.

DS had a wonderful moment last week, one of those life defining moments it was so funny to watch. We told him that DD and her boyfriend were splitting up, but that they would stay friends.
So DS says 'Oh, so they are still going out together'
'No' say's I.
'Huh' says DS
'It means they are not having sex any more or sleeping together' says me
'WHAT! (DD) is having sex?' exclaims DS
'When did they have sex' asks DS
'Probably any time they stayed at DD's place or when they stayed here together' say I.
'Awwww, you mean if I had stayed up I could have heard them going {insert sounds of mum enjoying herself}' says DS
'No, you would have been asleep by then' says I.
'Awwww' says DS.
So I thought it had all passed on until DS goes confidently up to DH and says
'Daaaad, DD is going to have a baby'
DH nearly fell off his chair.

We got it sorted, DS 'knew' that you had to have sex to have a baby, ergo if you have sex you are going to have a baby.

Oh I wish I had a camera permenantly strapped to my forehead. Arn't kids fun.

LOL.

The innocence is so sweet isn't it.

Another question, after reading another thread.

What is cybersex?

Snort, just saw this for the first time and read the title and it said afterwrds (69 messages).

(slinks way childishly)

I hadn't noticed that.

Fantastic !

Hello 3 catstoo, I think I should probably answer your question as the thread you are referring to was started by me. As you will have seen, it stirred up a really interesting, and fervent, mix of responses.

Cybersex is not one single thing. But in its simplest form, it involves people connecting with each other via the internet, in a virtual world, by using either the written word or webcams.

The cyber part is that it remains in the virtual world.

If webcams are used, it is pretty self-explanatory. Two people connect up their webcams and tease each other until they are both totlly naked, probably adopting very provocative poses and actions.

If it is through the written word, it would normally happen either in a chat room or via one of the messenger programmes such as MSN or yahoo. What happens here is two people either just talk about sex, which can in itself be a turn on. Or they act out a fantasy of having sex with each other (usually while embodying a virtual persona, i.e. possibly the secretary and the boss) and do so by typing their actions.

The thing to be wary of is you do not know for sure who you are talking to and, while the fantasy of sharing intimiate thoughts with a 6 foot, well hung young hunk might be very exciting, he could actually be a sad old man stuck in front of his pc!

Hope that answers your question.

Also incredibly good fun if your OH has to work away from home.....

Thank you.

I couldn't find the thread I had read it on, but I knew I had seen it in the last few days.

It did cause a bit of a stir.
I think it does have it's place on here though, so do you as a man.
It should be a place that you can ask about these things without being crucified.

Here, for example I have started a thread about sex. I have been educated and enlightened. Without MN I would have never known.

I do think too, that there are a very small group of MNrs who argue for arguments sake. It doesn't matter what the thread is. I have experienced that in the past. Some people have said really nasty things.

Thanks for sharing your views and answering my many questions.

It's good to talk about these things in a non sexual setting and forget about taboos.

I am strange. Giving oral sex is, for me, about as sexual as cleaning the loo. I'd like to like it though. Any suggestions? (I am female!)

I believe sperm has quite a high zinc content so it's quite good for your immune system.