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Original poster

Partner says he is unhappy but still wants a relationship

19 replies

Sparkle16 · 17/04/2022 15:33

My partner told me last night that he is unhappy in our relationship and it’s the worst relationship he has ever had as he says I am very indecisive, that he can’t have a conversation with me and that I am controlling because apparently I always have the remote control. I asked for examples but he couldn’t give me any. I am in a dilemma as what to do. Need advice on how to hand this situation as it’s the first relationship that anyone has ever said anything like this to me.

OP posts:
HirplesWithHaggis · 17/04/2022 15:37

Prove you're not indecisive by ending the relationship.

Soupercat · 17/04/2022 15:37

Oh tell him to fuck off.

LaingsAcidTab · 17/04/2022 15:39

"he says I am very indecisive"

Projection, right there. Tell him to get to fuck.

Thingsdogetbetter · 17/04/2022 15:44

If he's a new partner, he's negging you to make you insecure and desperate so that you pander to his every whim. Long term, then his head's been turned by a woman who's idea of a conversation is to tell him he's fabulous and who immediately agrees with all his decisions.

Thingsdogetbetter · 17/04/2022 15:45

*whose.. dam homophones Grin

Shouldbedoing · 17/04/2022 15:45

Tell him to fuck off

wingscrow · 17/04/2022 15:47

Get rid of him.

It sounds like he is trying to make you doubt yourself and start undermining you. If you stay this could turn into a controlling/toxic relationship where your partner gaslights you on a daily basis and destroys your self-esteem.

You have done nothing wrong and he is likely to be using your lack of experience of relationships to manipulate you.

This is definitely not what a good relationship and a decent partner looks like.

TheBigDilemma · 17/04/2022 15:49

Oh well, it is quite hard work to be with an indecisive person especially if you are left to make all the decisions. Having sad that, it does get a spine to end a relationship so basically what he is saying is “could you please end this awful relationship for me?”

So take the hint and send him flying, if you don’t, he will go anyway as soon as he gets attracted to someone else. So be decisive before he is.

Aquamarine1029 · 17/04/2022 15:53

Come on now. Walk this ridiculous twat to the door and kick his arse out of it.

You would really stay with a man like this?

layladomino · 17/04/2022 16:12

Think of it logically.... if the relationship was making him so unhappy, why would he want to stay?

So he's making it up. Why would he do that? To make you insecure, to 'train' you to want to please him, to hurt you.....

And why would you want to stay with someone who you were making so unhappy (if that was true) / someone who was so very unkind to you?

Relationships are meant to make both parties lives better. Without that, what's the point of them? He is actively trying to make you miserable and / or compliant.

I beg you to dump him. You could do so very much better.

Wookydook · 17/04/2022 16:14

The worst relationship he's ever had?!

Why is he still with you?
More to the point, why are you still with him?!

whenwilliwillibefamous · 17/04/2022 16:16

Why would you want to date a spineless idiot who apparently chooses a relationship in which he is unhappy ? Why? Surely a basic prerequisite for a boyfriend is "having a little common sense"!!

The whole point of a relationship is to make each other happier.

Just say your goodbyes and find someone whose line of reasoning is, "I'm in a relationship with you because I enjoy your company and you enjoy mine" for heaven's sake.

CrumpetStrumpet · 17/04/2022 18:37

In the bin he goes...

SunflowerTed · 17/04/2022 18:38

I would live up to his narrative and be decisive - tell him to fuck off and be controlling by blocking him and never speaking to him again !!?

TracyMosby · 17/04/2022 18:40

Op, he is building up to leaving you and hoping you end it first.

MrsTerryPratchett · 17/04/2022 18:41

Quite a trick to be indecisive and controlling at the same time Hmm

Get rid. he should be ecstatic if you're that terrible.

Bananalanacake · 17/04/2022 18:46

How long have you been together and do you live together. Take the decision you would prefer to live apart, and you decide where you want to go for your weekly date.

Opentooffers · 17/04/2022 18:55

Well surely he's shot himself in the foot or he wants you to be the one to end it. Nobody with any self respect would continue to be with someone who says that they are in the worst relationship they've ever had, so if you do respect yourself, your only option is to end it. If you don't respect yourself, you have big problems going forwards.

MissAmbrosia · 17/04/2022 19:03

Tell him to leave, or leave yourself? As soon as humanly possible? My ex told me he'd been discussing things with his mother and that I wasn't being "wifely enough". Basically I had to crack on or leave. His face when I went and started packing though....Twat

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