Monologues monopolising conversations

[Pinkyponkalonk]

My MIL is a nice lady, very kind to my husband (her son) and our toddler daughter, has lots of friends and had a long professional career. She adores her family and would do anything for them.

However my relationship with her is floundering due to her absolutely monopolising conversations with long dull monologues on any and every subject. I find myself silent or monosyllasbic a lot of the time around her as any topic at all that is raised, she will then proceed to tell you every tiny thing she has ever experienced or knows about it - even something as simple as a potato.

If someone else is speaking, she will say 'yeah yeah yeah' eagerly (without realising she is) as she is anxiously trying to interject and take over again. If she asks you how you slept and you say 'good thank you' she will then launch into a long monologue outlining every detail of her nights sleep - and if someone else comes into the room, she will start again and tell them with exactly the same detail and length.

There are other issues with her being quite overbearing in her children's lives but I could cope with those if time with her wasn't sadly so dull and actually quite stressful due to her constant need to be talking. She is quite an anxious person and always so eager not to offend and to get everything right so I am baffled how she doesn't know how frustrating it can be to be around her. Her children get frustrated and annoyed with her but she just shrugs it off and carries on.

She is a nice person essentially but apparently has always been like this and everyone just lives with it. I am however finding it increasingly difficult to navigate and wondering if anyone else has ever come across this?

I am not looking for solutions such as spending less time with her or getting my husband to talk to her but wondering about coping strategies as I feel I am starting to be rude around her and I am generally quite polite and kind.

My friend has always been a chatterbox but her monologging about her dogs, her work, and her family without drawing breath drives me potty. She will ask questions but doesn't listen to the answers before she starts monologging again. Her sisters are the same and all 4 of them in a room talking over each other is torture. I do wonder if there's a competitive element with them when they meet up but individually theyre all monologgers too. Maybe there's a genetic element to it?

My father in law spoke about a 60 minute documentary on excavating a king's body from a car park in Birmingham for 90 minutes.

Even that was preferable to the commentary on the thousands of photos he took at Herculaneum and Pompeii. Never have I wished more for the return of old style camera films where you were limited to 36 photos for your entire holiday.

My father in law spoke about a 60 minute documentary on excavating a king's body from a car park in Birmingham for 90 minutes.

Leicester, surely ?

I had this with an ex and he did monologues and not a two sided conversation and even once told me not to butt in but one day I got sick of listening to his crap and said you are boring me with your long winded monologues and I had to butt in if I want to take part in the conversation and also told him I do not care about these stories about people I never met or know nothing about. Kept repeating himself also. Since I got into peri menopause I say things I would never have been able to before. Do not know how you can handle this one though just nod and agree and try to spend as little time as possible or else say to her ever so sweetly if she starts oh I was not finished my story which I am going to now.

Leicester, surely ?

Could be, I did tune out quite quickly...

I know a monologuer. Now, I decline offers to meet for dinner because it's too open-ended. Instead I suggest a coffee and then I can say I have to leave for a meeting, shopping, gym class and so on (or announce this at the time of making the arrangement). This tactic came about after a coffee turned into a near 3-hour encounter and I was so agitated and was screaming inside.

I used to have this with MIL. She talked all the time and my DH would be nowhere to be seen!
I used to either say, oh I need the toilet, back soon and after started to do something else in another room.
Or pretend I needed to make an urgent phone call, or similar
On one I occasion I fell to sleep by accident. She didn’t even notice! 🤣

Me and my Mum used to have Skype calls and I could nip for a pee and half a smoke outside and she wouldn't notice I was gone. Just a constant monologue.

My step mum does this and we suspect she's got aspergers. She has many of the traits, and talking about things she wants to talk about constantly is something she does. She never asks me personal questions or has any interest in my life. It's very draining to deal with.

God that is a good idea. i have a friend who monologues about how rich she is. The last time I saw her it was a lunch that turned into three hours and my mouth was literally hurting from trying to smile and in the end the waiter had to turf us out because it was closing time.

I am literally certain I did not say a complete sentence in all that time. The table on the other side had 3 sets of patrons come, eat and leave in that time and at one point they were giggling and winking at me. I think it was the comment about visiting her racehorses running in Kentuckey via their chartered helicopter that finished them off.

You do realise that you are most likely “the last man standing” - everyone else will have swerved her by now.

How can you tolerate this? Why do you indulge it? Were you brought up with no boundaries / low self worth?

Honestly drop the rope on this dullard - even strangers in a restaurant can see and hear it. Set yourself free!!!