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Original poster

Sweet or a bit much?

94 replies

theickisback · 09/04/2022 18:46

I've been seeing a man for about 12 weeks. We both live with our parents and we haven't come out as an official couple yet so we don't get much alone time.
He booked us a hotel for the night, and I messaged to say I had period pain, toothache and felt a bit sorry for myself.
When I got to the hotel he'd bought me painkillers, some toothache gel, some dairy milk and a bottle of wine. He said period sex doesn't bother him (it didn't 😂) but no pressure either way.
Is that sweet, or a bit OTT?

OP posts:
Diversion · 09/04/2022 21:17

I think it was sweet. Nothing wrong with period sex as long as the participants are happy, just protect the bed sheets. In fact sex can be really good for relieving period pain.

Tothepoint99 · 09/04/2022 21:18

😆😆

VodselForDinner · 09/04/2022 21:21

@Giveitall

Period sex? How vile. Must be a “generational thing” that I feel like that. Can a woman never have a natural break these days?
A break from wanting to have sex? Why would a woman need a break from that?

Or is the belief that women only have sex to please a man a generational thing?

MrsTerryPratchett · 09/04/2022 21:24

OP fucked off?

Cherry79 · 09/04/2022 21:42

@RhubarbFairy

Hmmmmm. I was thinking sweet until I got to the period sex bit.

There was pressure as soon as he mentioned it.

Yes this
SevenWaystoLeave · 09/04/2022 21:43

@Giveitall

Period sex? How vile. Must be a “generational thing” that I feel like that. Can a woman never have a natural break these days?
Well yes, if she doesn't want to have sex for a few days, she can say so.
eatentoomanygrapes · 09/04/2022 21:46

This would give me the instant ick 🤷‍♀️

declutteringmymind · 09/04/2022 21:59

If he had offered either period sex with pharmacy or a reschedule, and you chose to go ahead then he's a gentleman. If he kind of gave you no excuses to say no and you felt a little bit manoeuvred into it then that's a red flag I'm afraid.

Stravaig · 09/04/2022 22:03

Sounds sweet! Though the reference to period sex does make his motivations more ambiguous. What worries you?

(For me, it's a fantastic remedy for cramps, and surprisingly non-messy, so a non-squeamish partner is a bonus.)

SunnydaleHSAlumna · 09/04/2022 22:15

What do you think? It's really not up to us to decide if it was sweet or too much, it really depends on how it made you feel.

Did he offer to reschedule when he learnt you weren't feeling great?

AJ2009 · 09/04/2022 22:17

Nothing wrong with period sex. Even better to do it in the shower so no messy sheets

Luredbyapomegranate · 09/04/2022 22:18

@Giveitall

Period sex? How vile. Must be a “generational thing” that I feel like that. Can a woman never have a natural break these days?
@Giveitall

You know that thinking having sex whilst on your period is ‘vile’ is deeply misogynistic and full of self hatred don’t you?

It’s not compulsory for either party, if both are fine with it, it’s fine.

FYI some women don’t want a week off sex. They enjoy regular sex. Are you from the 1930s or something??

roundthetwist1988 · 09/04/2022 22:35

The period sex conversation came up a few days before as I knew the night away was going to fall in my pill free week. He pretty much just said where do you stand on having period sex, it doesn't bother me but it's completely up to you. When I said I wasn't feeling well he said it's no problem if you don't want to come, said he'd probably go by himself as not to waste the money for the room but he def didn't make me feel pressured into anything x

Illputtheminapie · 09/04/2022 22:39

I think you have a name change fail OP

roundthetwist1988 · 09/04/2022 22:41

Haha so do I 😂🤦🏼‍♀️

Sweetpeasaremadeofcheese · 09/04/2022 22:49

Sounds like something my lovely DH would have done when we were first together (and now). Sweet.

Sunnytwobridges · 09/04/2022 22:56

Back in the day I and depending on the man I would’ve said sweet. However thinking about my ex who is a sex pest, I don’t really know what to think lol

LubaLuca · 09/04/2022 22:57

I imagine the hotel was booked so they could have sex without the fear of Mum walking in, so for him to mention it is not exactly being presumptuous. I think he meant well with the stuff he bought, but I don't like fuss so I'd have felt a bit awkward having to accept those things.

What's with 'coming out' as having a boyfriend though? It doesn't need to be kept secret before an announcement is made.

TokyoTen · 09/04/2022 23:00

Sweet.

SarahDippity · 09/04/2022 23:04

Call me cynical but I’d be unsurprised if he got a bit pushy if you decided you didn’t want sex, or he wanted a blowjob ‘instead.’ I’d feel a bit cornered if I were the OP. He has made it that bit harder to say ‘no, I’m not in the mood.’ (I could be projecting, as I remember a very similar situation when I was much younger.)

CinstonWhurchill · 09/04/2022 23:05

"I messaged to say I had period pain, toothache and felt a bit sorry for myself".

But you still went.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 09/04/2022 23:06

@CinstonWhurchill

"I messaged to say I had period pain, toothache and felt a bit sorry for myself".

But you still went.

Why wouldn't she?!
Ohyesiam · 09/04/2022 23:09

@Giveitall

Period sex? How vile. Must be a “generational thing” that I feel like that. Can a woman never have a natural break these days?
I’m mid fifties and before menopause I enjoyed lots of periods sex. Not sure what generation you are ?
CinstonWhurchill · 09/04/2022 23:09

@youvegottenminuteslynn so what is she moaning and posting about then?

She could have chosen to stay home and refrain from date.

Ohyesiam · 09/04/2022 23:11

@LubaLuca

I imagine the hotel was booked so they could have sex without the fear of Mum walking in, so for him to mention it is not exactly being presumptuous. I think he meant well with the stuff he bought, but I don't like fuss so I'd have felt a bit awkward having to accept those things.

What's with 'coming out' as having a boyfriend though? It doesn't need to be kept secret before an announcement is made.

In lots of cultures it does