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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Sweet or a bit much?

94 replies

theickisback · 09/04/2022 18:46

I've been seeing a man for about 12 weeks. We both live with our parents and we haven't come out as an official couple yet so we don't get much alone time.
He booked us a hotel for the night, and I messaged to say I had period pain, toothache and felt a bit sorry for myself.
When I got to the hotel he'd bought me painkillers, some toothache gel, some dairy milk and a bottle of wine. He said period sex doesn't bother him (it didn't 😂) but no pressure either way.
Is that sweet, or a bit OTT?

OP posts:
mum2jakie · 09/04/2022 20:02

Sweet and nothing wrong with period sex if you're both up for it! Now I'm too long in the tooth for it, with far too heavy flow, would end up like a crime scene!

AHungryCaterpillar · 09/04/2022 20:05

It’s sweet but period sex is a no for me; at first I thought very sweet but reading the other comments now I’m cynical that he just wanted to make sure he still got sex 😣

cutebutscary · 09/04/2022 20:06

Aww he sounds lovely , I would be pleased if my hubby didn't mind period sex . He sounds like a really thoughtful man

MrsBDarcey · 09/04/2022 20:09

It's a no from me. Without mentioning period sex would've been ok. With? Nope.

Walkingalot · 09/04/2022 20:17

He was determined to get sex wasn't he! The sweet thing to do was to cancel it and book for another time when you could have fully appreciated it.

AHungryCaterpillar · 09/04/2022 20:18

@Walkingalot

He was determined to get sex wasn't he! The sweet thing to do was to cancel it and book for another time when you could have fully appreciated it.
Really because If a man won’t see you because of your period isn’t that a bad sign too?
WTF475878237NC · 09/04/2022 20:23

I have also assumed you spoke about booking the hotel to get some sex together...in which case I'd say sweet.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 09/04/2022 20:23

@Walkingalot

He was determined to get sex wasn't he! The sweet thing to do was to cancel it and book for another time when you could have fully appreciated it.
If a bloke cancelled a night away with me because I was on my period I would think he was such a dick!
mum2jakie · 09/04/2022 20:23

@Walkingalot

He was determined to get sex wasn't he! The sweet thing to do was to cancel it and book for another time when you could have fully appreciated it.
Cancelling would be far far worse! Pretty much stating that he doesn't want to see you if he's not guaranteed a shag!
Furrbabymama87 · 09/04/2022 20:24

I'm not sure. It's thoughtful but it seems a bit desperate to me. One guy I dated did similar. He left a bag on my doorstep with a mother's day card, flowers, chocolates, a face mask and batteries ( for my vibrator), rang me and told me to go to the door. He'd left it there and walked off as he knew he couldn't come in as I wasn't comfortable with my kids there....He was an absolute nightmare when I ended it. Went from one extreme to the other.

WTF475878237NC · 09/04/2022 20:28

Furrbabymama87 he wasn't your son so that is absolutely bonkers

PinkSyCo · 09/04/2022 20:31

I’d like to say sweet but the fact that he made it very clear that he expected sex makes me dubious.

mum2jakie · 09/04/2022 20:34

@PinkSyCo

I’d like to say sweet but the fact that he made it very clear that he expected sex makes me dubious.
He didn't say he expected sex, he just said he'd be up for it if she was. I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
PinkSyCo · 09/04/2022 20:42

He didn't say he expected sex, he just said he'd be up for it if she was. I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

Ah I didn’t notice the ‘No pressure either way’ part. In that case it’s a ‘sweet’ from me.

dworky · 09/04/2022 20:46

@JesusSufferingFuck22

Sweet until he mentioned period sex.
Why?
Georgeskitchen · 09/04/2022 20:47

It was a nice thought but I would be a bit nervous about period sex on a first night. OK in a LTR

Opentooffers · 09/04/2022 20:48

Never met any man up for period sex, sometimes quite frustratingly as can get quite horny at times around then. Until now, and yes it is refreshing when a man takes it in his stride and accepts it as just a normal no big thing, whilst also accepting that if feeling rough it might be a no go. So it's hard to tell, I think if you were as up for it, didn't feel pressured, then it's sweet.

dworky · 09/04/2022 20:48

Saying something doesn't bother you is not necessarily expecting it, simply stating that it's not an issue for him if not for you.

Luredbyapomegranate · 09/04/2022 20:59

I’d find the care package a bit much, but I’d take it as kindly meant.

Nothing wrong w saying that he’s happy with period sex though, it saves you asking, or you both not having it when you actually wanted to. Slightly wondering want the Pps criticising him would like him to say?!

5128gap · 09/04/2022 21:05

People are congratulating men for being ok with having sex when a woman has their period? Are all the 'men' you know 16 (eurgh, thats icky!)? Or escaped from the dark ages (unclean! unclean!)? I've never ever met a man who would have thought twice, other than to consider himself fortunate it was on offer. Genuinely surprised at this, and I thought at my age I was past surprises.

Gagaandgag · 09/04/2022 21:05

Sweet I think

AHungryCaterpillar · 09/04/2022 21:06

@5128gap

People are congratulating men for being ok with having sex when a woman has their period? Are all the 'men' you know 16 (eurgh, thats icky!)? Or escaped from the dark ages (unclean! unclean!)? I've never ever met a man who would have thought twice, other than to consider himself fortunate it was on offer. Genuinely surprised at this, and I thought at my age I was past surprises.
I’ve met loads of men who wouldn’t do it. Which is ok as I’m not up for it either.
saleorbouy · 09/04/2022 21:11

Kind of amused at the "Vile period sex" reactions, surely that's up to the participants to decide.
Seems a but of a strange reaction to those many women who are trying to educate others to the "normal" "naturalness" of periods.
He sounds like a thoughtful, caring man to me.

Meklk · 09/04/2022 21:14

Poor room attendant....I used to work in the hotels, period sex is quite common.

Tothepoint99 · 09/04/2022 21:17

@Tortabella

I think it's sweet. My now DH bought me a hairdryer as he hated the way I went out with wet hair sometimes. At the time I thought it was weird but actually I just had low standards before I met him and wasn't used to being treated kindly.
Bless you!