Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

One sister announcing pregnancy just before the other's wedding

74 replies

gwilt · 08/04/2022 17:14

I am not either sister in this scenario and none of this particularly bothers me - I'm more interested in the etiquette of the situation.

Sister 1 is getting married this weekend.

Sister 2 has just announced her first pregnancy today. She's also getting married in a few months' time. She hasn't had any issues conceiving or anything like that. In fact, as far as we knew, she didn't want children. So it's come out of the blue.

Sister 1 has children so that isn't the issue.

It's more like - is this a mean thing to do?

Should Sister 2 have waited until after Sister 1's wedding to announce her pregnancy? Is this a way of explaining why she won't be drinking at the wedding? Something else?

OP posts:
MrsElm · 08/04/2022 17:15

Total non issue.

Imsittinginthekitchensink · 08/04/2022 17:15

I'm not sure I see why this is an issue.

AppleKatie · 08/04/2022 17:16

You’re overthinking. Two happy things can happen at the same time and you can feel glad.

Moancup · 08/04/2022 17:16

I bet £20 the pregnant sister has been worrying about drinking at the wedding and this is her solution.

But then I’m not someone who believes in a blackout periods around life events.

TheSnowyOwl · 08/04/2022 17:17

It’s fine.

LoudingVoice · 08/04/2022 17:17

Complete non issue, and anyone who makes a problem out of any of this is ridiculous.

It’s simply the way things have fallen, nothing more nothing less.

Oizys · 08/04/2022 17:17

I don’t think it’s an issue really. Maybe if sister 2 had announced it at the wedding making a massive do but don’t think it detracts from the wedding or attention on sister 1 really her wedding will still be the most important thing on the day

TinLeaf · 08/04/2022 17:18

Why on earth would it be a mean thing to do? Should all friends and family of the bride put their lives on hold because the sister getting married think they will steal the limelight? Ridiculous

YouShouldGoAndLoveYourself · 08/04/2022 17:18

Can’t see a problem

Frlrlrubert · 08/04/2022 17:18

@Moancup

I bet £20 the pregnant sister has been worrying about drinking at the wedding and this is her solution.

But then I’m not someone who believes in a blackout periods around life events.

This, because if someone saw her on the orange juice and let the cat out of the bag AT her sisters wedding that would be worse.
SaxendaSummer · 08/04/2022 17:18

What's the potential issue here??

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 08/04/2022 17:19

Could not care less about this if I was the one getting married. I'd be happy for them. Why would it be an issue?

NewBrownMouse · 08/04/2022 17:20

I wouldnt overthink it. She's most likely announcing now because she has probably realised and been worrying that her non-drinking will lead to speculation and questions on the actual day and she wants to avoid being forced into 'announcing' on the day which would look like she was taking attention away on the 'brides special day'.

Toomanyradishes · 08/04/2022 17:22

What has one thing got to do with the other?

Are people supposed to be celibate for 9 months before their siblings wedding

Why does it never go the other way? If sister 2 had announced she was trying for a baby would sister 1 have posponed her wedding?

Peoplevare so strange about weddings

ThistlesAndUnicorns · 08/04/2022 17:23

Sorry, I agree with the above posters. Your sister will be the main focus of her wedding day obviously. It's lovely there are a few special occasions in the family!

Even trying to look at it from a different view point I really don't see how this could be an issue...unless you're dealing with a bridezilla but that would still be her issue!

mum2bee2022 · 08/04/2022 17:25

A bit mean, she could have waited a few days

iklboo · 08/04/2022 17:27

A bit mean, she could have waited a few days

Why is it mean? As PP have said she would probably be questioned all day why she wasn't drinking. Announcing now before and not AT the wedding - or being called on it at the wedding is much more preferable.

Vodka1 · 08/04/2022 17:28

I announced I was pregnant at 10 week's to my family only because my sister's wedding was 4 weeks later and I didn't wanna steal her moment. No pressure no questions and I told my sister first!

Im a big drinker though so it would of been absolutely obvious.

Echobelly · 08/04/2022 17:29

Total non issue, pregnancy happens when it happens. There's enough attention in the world to go round one sister's pregnancy and another's imminent wedding shrugs

Feckaffoutofit · 08/04/2022 17:32

I don't think it is anybody else's business when someone tells their family or their friends that they are pregnant. I told my family as soon as I knew. It did not occur to me that someone else might think I was stealing their limelight or whatever you think this sister may be doing.

ShadowPuppets · 08/04/2022 17:32

If my sister was pregnant I’d have much rather she announced a few days before than

  1. announced at the wedding or
  2. really bloody obviously wasn’t drinking on the day so it was basically announced anyway

The fake drinking malarkey is a right pain and I think it’s entirely reasonable to announce to avoid it if you’re happy to. I probably would want to make sure bride sister gets the heads up from pregnant sister first just to say ‘I’m not trying to do this as a thunder steal, really sorry if it looks like that’ - if my sister did that I’d tell her I was delighted for her and not to be so silly Grin

RaininSummer · 08/04/2022 17:32

Nope not mean. I dont understand that thinking unless we are talking about a total me me me bridezilla.

Overthebow · 08/04/2022 17:33

I don’t see the problem here. It’s her first pregnancy and maybe she just wanted people to know. Or maybe she was worrying about not drinking at the wedding. Either way, it’s not an issue.

Fernshire · 08/04/2022 17:33

I find it bizarre that anyone would think it was an issue.

Hiddenvoice · 08/04/2022 17:34

No I think she was better to announce it before the wedding. People will be offering her drinks and now know not to. If she left it people would have started to ask her if she was pregnant and would have been unfair to announce on the actual day.
If both sisters are happy then that’s great!