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Original poster

One sister announcing pregnancy just before the other's wedding

74 replies

gwilt · 08/04/2022 17:14

I am not either sister in this scenario and none of this particularly bothers me - I'm more interested in the etiquette of the situation.

Sister 1 is getting married this weekend.

Sister 2 has just announced her first pregnancy today. She's also getting married in a few months' time. She hasn't had any issues conceiving or anything like that. In fact, as far as we knew, she didn't want children. So it's come out of the blue.

Sister 1 has children so that isn't the issue.

It's more like - is this a mean thing to do?

Should Sister 2 have waited until after Sister 1's wedding to announce her pregnancy? Is this a way of explaining why she won't be drinking at the wedding? Something else?

OP posts:
DPotter · 08/04/2022 17:34

YABU

The grans and aunts would have guessed anyway as she won't be drinking.

This way it's out in the open

HollowTalk · 08/04/2022 17:34

It depends on the sisters. Is the pregnant sister an attention seeker?

PurpleDaisies · 08/04/2022 17:37

You’ve really got to want to find that offensive for it to be a problem.

PurpleDaisies · 08/04/2022 17:38

How do you know the sisters didn’t talk about it first and the one getting married said it was fine?

MsFogi · 08/04/2022 17:38

As long as she doesn't announce it at the wedding this is a non-issue.

BOOTS52 · 08/04/2022 17:40

Total non-issue and seems you are making it one. Everyone should be happy for the sister who is pregnant and no it is not taking away anything from the wedding day unless she is a bridzilla and making it all about her. People should be happy there is good news for a change after the past few years.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 08/04/2022 17:40

Saves a lot of speculation at the wedding... it can easily be obvious to close friends and family (my aunt worked it out in a 2hr visit when I was 7 weeks pregnant and she hadn't seen me in over a year... and kindly didn't mention it until after my mother told her a few weeks later). And that was just a quiet dinner, not a full on celebration.

layladomino · 08/04/2022 17:42

I agree it's a non-issue. I really don't understand the idea that noone else is allowed to share good news in the run up to a wedding. What difference does it make? Will the bride and groom now enjoy their day less because sister is pregnant? Will they be angry or upset if someone congratulates sister when all the attention should be on them?

If anything, she has done the sensible thing, as PP have said, someone would have asked if she wasn't drinking on her sister's wedding day, and that would have been more awkward.

FrancescaContini · 08/04/2022 17:42

Mean? What on earth are you talking about?!

OutingHobby · 08/04/2022 17:44

Absolutely not an issue at all. Better than it coming out at the wedding.

OutingHobby · 08/04/2022 17:45

If it doesn't bother you why do you think it would bother anyone else?

SleepingStandingUp · 08/04/2022 17:48

Oh no, the thunder!! Will no one think of the thunder?? Poor stolen thunder. Now Dsis2 is pregnant no one will care that Dsis1 is getting married and will spend the whole wedding staring at Dsis2 and her flappily buttoned coat over her none existent bulge thinking baby things.

Tell dsis1 to cancel the wedding, there's no point going ahead now.

EV117 · 08/04/2022 17:50

No, definitely not mean. Bizarre for anyone to think so.

IncompleteSenten · 08/04/2022 17:51

Two lovely things.
Who's unhappy about it?

TimeForPeace · 08/04/2022 17:54

So weird, this is a natural event, how could her sister keep her happy news quiet. I'm not very understanding of all the contrived, timed announcements these days. Just be happy, sisters.

Kite22 · 08/04/2022 17:58

Another who can't see what the issue is.

Presumably, the pregnant sister didn't want the news to be shared on the day of the wedding, and she presumed people would notice if she had nothing to drink all day, so thought it better to share her news several days before the wedding.

What a lot of lovely news and events all within one year Smile

KnowingMeKnowingYouAhaaaa · 08/04/2022 18:11

I don't understand the issue?! She didn't announce it at the actual wedding so what's the problem? Just because you are getting married doesn't mean everyone else around you puts any life events on hold for a month? 3 months? What's an acceptable amount of time before a wedding? The sister is probably at the 12 week mark and can't be bothered with people asking why she isn't drinking. I'd rather tell people I'm pregnant (if I'm at the point i want to share) than people watch me second guessing all day.

MajorCarolDanvers · 08/04/2022 18:17

I don't see what the problem is.

pictish · 08/04/2022 18:22

I can’t see the issue either.

WheekestLink · 08/04/2022 18:29

Both happy events, both to be celebrated.

Just because you are getting married doesn't mean you get first dibs on the joy for the preceding month.

Not sure why you're posting given you're not one of the sisters but I can only imagine one has asked you to post this. If not I have more to say.

DappledShade · 08/04/2022 18:33

How lovely that so many happy things are happening, I'd just be pleased.

SierpinskiSquare · 08/04/2022 18:35

I would think it was lovely timing regardless of which party I was.

YanTanTetheraPetheraPimp · 08/04/2022 18:36

What’s the problem? Is someone trying to stir up trouble?

megletthesecond · 08/04/2022 18:37

No problem at all.

Parpophone · 08/04/2022 18:38

I found out I was pregnant the day before BIL got married.

There had been a mix up with the shopping bags so they were well aware that I had done a preganancy test and we told them, in confidence, that it was positive but that we had no intention of saying anything to anyone during the weekend of the wedding.

That same evening we had dinner with both families to get to know each other and SIL blurted out to MIL "so, how do feel about the news that you are going to be a Grandma?"