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Original poster

What effect did lockdown have on your relationships?

72 replies

canisay · 08/04/2022 15:23

With your partner/family/friends?

I feel like I'm still feeling the effects of it. It was such a weird time and it just seems like some things have changed permanently.

OP posts:
Fernsinthegarden · 08/04/2022 15:33

It was a really conflicting time for me because on one hand my most important friendships really solidified but my work situation led me to become extremely depressed. But, it did lead to DH being able to see exactly how I was being affected by such a negative work environment and we suddenly had all of this time to sit and actually talk about what was happening, why and what I could do and how he could support me. It was a surreal time but there are parts of me that enjoyed being furloughed and subsequently being able to step into a pocket of time and (cliche alert!) start enjoying small things again.

AryaStarkWolf · 08/04/2022 15:44

None really.

Shgytfgtf111 · 08/04/2022 15:45

My OH cant understand that I do have a different work personality.

ReadyforTakeOff · 08/04/2022 15:53

She drove me nuts. Don't think she understood the pressures of my job until she saw it first hand.

Sorry, why do you have a different work personality?

CharSiu · 08/04/2022 15:53

Improved mine and DH relationship. He used to travel overseas a lot, we just got on with stuff and didn’t realise it was an issue till it wasn’t.

Have seen family and friends less unfortunately, a lot of my family are in America and Hong Kong.

Celticdawn5 · 08/04/2022 15:54

I certainly do not view my husband in the same way. His Covid anxiety and subsequent behaviours compared to mine during this time (and up to date ) were and are very different .

Sickofnosleep · 08/04/2022 15:54

Honestly, it has really damaged my relationship with DH although he doesn’t know. He’s in the house constantly and never goes out, has become dull and I resent him hugely.

ravenmum · 08/04/2022 15:55

When I first got together with my dp I thought we had little in common and it would be just a fun fling - but I've been constantly surprised to find that we have similar attitudes to many things, and lockdown was another example. Would have been awful to have spent it with my exh but with this guy it was pretty bearable.
Family - I live abroad anyway so it's made little difference tbh. Didn't see them for 2 years instead of 1. So just as rubbish as usual really.
Friends - I'm quite avoidant, so lockdown was no good for me as it just meant I've stopped contacting some of them and now feel weird about trying to contact them again. Used to do various casual meet-ups but many have basically stopped. Hopefully some will start coming back again when the weather gets better, but I think quite a few people seem to have lost the will to do anything.

Penguinwaddler · 08/04/2022 16:03

The biggest effect was on my relationship, which has now ended. Unfortunately I think it shone a light on issues we had and those issues became magnified by spending too much time together and not having the usual distractions of going to the office, time apart etc.

With friends, I enjoyed spending time with them more and doing things like walks and sitting in the park with a coffee, especially during the nicer weather.

With family, I worried a lot about those who were more vulnerable and missed being able to travel to visit those further away.

Of course many relationships, regardless if they're with family, friends or partners, have thrived. But so many have been blown apart since the pandemic. It's very sad.

Fuzzyhippo · 08/04/2022 19:31

None, we still live apart and kept seeing each other during lockdown since I was going through a traumatic situation, and if it weren't for me being able to get out of my home I would've probably packed myself in at the beginning

WowIlikereallyhateyou · 08/04/2022 19:33

We are tighter together than ever. It has been great.

vincettenoir · 08/04/2022 19:34

I became annoyed by my dp making tonnes of noise and opening all the windows on cold days and it’s still annoying.

everythingisgoingup · 08/04/2022 19:43

Dh and I are the same Smile

Friendships have waned and no-one seems to care Sad

It is like we have lost the ability to have time for each other!

Angrymum22 · 08/04/2022 19:47

DH reconnected with an old flame via social media, so not really a good period of our marriage. It’s going to take a little more time for me to trust him again. Unfortunately, he’s just had a stroke so it’s like I’ve lost him all over again. No one knows about his “ indiscretion “ so leaving him at the moment will not reflect well on me.
Life is pretty shit at the moment but I keep on smiling.

FourChimneys · 08/04/2022 19:49

DH and I are best friends and we loved the extra time spent together. We were both busy but made time each day to spend time doing something, even as simple as eating lunch in the garden or going for a walk.

We kept in touch with family by phone, Zoom and the occasional distanced meet up when allowed. No problems there at all.

The same with friends, kept in touch, checked on each other and we're now enjoying meeting up again in various ways.

KohlaParasaurus · 08/04/2022 19:53

DH and I both continued to go to work and we're both easygoing and quiet at home so nothing much changed. The kidults boomeranged in and our of the family home as usual. We couldn't see friends and family as much but we're picking up where we left off.

PollyIndia · 08/04/2022 19:54

My relationship ended after lockdown 1 -
I knew I didn’t want him moving in with me and ds and it was long overdue.
My relationship with my mum also changed irreparably. She was like a second mum to ds before covid but then she stopped coming to london. Her health anxiety spiralled and I only saw her 4 times in 2 years.
She died a month ago and it breaks my heart that we lost those 2 years.
However my friends have been amazing and supportive, and I feel so lucky to have them, and my sister. Plus I’m getting to know my dad on a whole new level now it’s just him and us. He’s an amazing individual and has surprised me at every turn since mum died. So, it’s not all gloom.

quitecontrary123 · 08/04/2022 20:03

It has probably contributed to the end of my marriage.

Coldiron · 08/04/2022 20:40

My stbxh behaviour got so bad that I could no longer “stay together for the sake of the kids”. It’s been an absolute blessing in disguise, I feel like I’ve been gifted 6 years of happiness (it would have been another 6 years until my youngest turned 18)

I used to just hug my parents at Xmas (we’re not a very emotionally demonstrative family) but now I hug them every time I see them

@Angrymum22 if you want to leave can you not just tell everyone about his indiscretion? You don’t owe a duty of confidentiality for his bad behaviour

GetOffTheTableMabel · 08/04/2022 20:50

I adore my DH but I am very independent and enjoy having my time and the house to myself when he is at the office. He didn’t go to the office at all for 18 months and has only been about twice a month for the last six months. I did find it challenging to start with. He has a dedicated room to work in. It really doesn’t inconvenience me that he is here but I still found it an adjustment. I felt a bit claustrophobic. Now it is likely that he will take early retirement within 6 months and I just feel pleased for him. I have done my adjusting and I am grateful that the pandemic helped ‘ease’ me into a new reality where we are together 7 days a week.

CrowAndABut · 08/04/2022 20:52

We got much stronger.

saggyhairyass · 08/04/2022 20:56

DH got into the conspiracy theories and was a total bore. I seriously considered divorce.

We are on a bit more of an even keel now, but he still brings up his outlandish ideas. I might still divorce him at some point in the future. Never say never.

pointythings · 08/04/2022 20:58

I am single but had all my kids at home - 17, 18 and 19. I was working from home, they were all in education of some kind. We really bonded - I was doing 10 to 14 hour days doing NHS redeployments and project managing COVID emergency wards, they were there for me making me tea, keeping the household going and just being great company. It pulled us closer in a way that was just great and we still have that closeness 2 years on.

fuckwhatshouldido · 08/04/2022 21:03

With hindsight it was probably the beginning of the end. He let me down massively (he wouldn’t see it that way 🤷‍♀️) and I felt so alone and lonely. Nearly left then, I remember saying at the time that I might forgive but I didn’t think I could forget and I wouldn’t ever ask for anything or ‘need’ him again. We patched it up for a while with some sticking plaster stuff but I split with him just under a year and a half later. That wasn’t the only factor by a long shot but like I said, looking back now I suspect it was the beginning of the end.

Whatwouldscullydo · 08/04/2022 21:10

It killed it.

I mean it was dead befire I guess but with all the excuses gone. The fact there was time. The fact there was no early mornings amd no work stress and being absent from family life was a choice not a result of circumstances.

Things I could tolerate as they were only fir short periods were all day every day.

I realised I didn't even like him let alone love him. I started saving and keeping all.my pay and a few months later I called it.

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