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Original poster

What effect did lockdown have on your relationships?

72 replies

canisay · 08/04/2022 15:23

With your partner/family/friends?

I feel like I'm still feeling the effects of it. It was such a weird time and it just seems like some things have changed permanently.

OP posts:
Maybeitstimeforachange · 08/04/2022 21:16

Partner - lost a lot of respect for him when he refused to have the children so I could work.

Family - realised I was in the fringes.

Friends - really just can’t be bothered to see them now.

TheCanyon · 08/04/2022 21:19

Dh and I got on better than we have in years, was truly brilliant. The last year though he's turned into a right cunt tbh, but he had his first colitis flare up last Feb after I had became really ill in January. The stress of me being ill is obviously a massive burden to him, fancy having to do everything yourself?! Think it's his medication but I don't give a shit anymore.

Family wise, my family were ok, we missed the grandparents and my dbs family massively. Worst was sil who lives in Dubai, we all felt a bit lost without seeing her.

Friends, much the same really.

5128gap · 08/04/2022 21:20

The polarity of reactions to covid and the restrictions amongst people I know has caused me to bond closely with some and become distanced from others. I think irreversibly, as people's responses to extreme circumstances reveal aspects of their character that you can't then unknow. I've seen everything from extreme bravery and selflessness, stoicism, resilience, humour and kindness, and at the other end of the spectrum, stupidity, self centredness and cowardice. I don't want to pass opinion on where I stood, as its not what the threads about, but i feel very close to the people who I discovered to be like minded and very disappointed (perhaps unfairly) with those with the opposite stance.

BackInMarch2020PreCovid · 08/04/2022 21:21

Much more content and open with each other as a couple. I remember saying at the beginning this will either make or break relationships, and it definitely made ours stronger.

We rarely argued during that, had more time for each other and our DC, supported each other massively (both worked in extremely challenging jobs that weren’t furloughed) and took a practical and realistic approach to the DC home schooling, which took pressure off us both too. I was a big worrier pre covid anyway but, this period of time changed my perception and mindset (worked on myself, got a professional coach at work) and that really helped me feel more content in my own home.

Relationships with friends varied. The stronger friendships survived and others drifted. I’d say we’re picking back up with some friends now; people were busy and dealing with their own shit. I think it’s been an effort for people to re kindle friendships or they’ve found it hard. I’ve had to bite the bullet and make the first contact with some people after 12-18 months, and I think it’s just been harder for certain people to deal with the lack of physical contact.

AntarcticTern · 08/04/2022 21:31

DH - we have got on very well throughout the last two years of lockdowns, wfh etc, but I feel we've lost something of the romance. Maybe because of spending so much time together.

My parents - they have been super cautious and we've barely seen them. I respect their decision but it's a shame because they used to be so close to the kids.

Friends - largely the same, lost touch with a few.

Northernsoullover · 08/04/2022 21:32

I ended my relationship. We didn't live together so didn't mix during lockdown as I was caring for vulnerable relatives. When lockdown ended I realised I didn't want him to come over. I didn't miss him.
Its brought me and my teens so much closer though like a previous poster. Same with my parents. I think I've always been a source of disappointment to them compared to my golden child brother (I jest as he is a lovely brother) but I'm local to them and I think they appreciate me a lot more.

FatPatsCat · 08/04/2022 21:33

H left me for OW on day 2.

Friends abandoned me.

Family saved my life.

Whelmed · 08/04/2022 21:39

It highlighted the issues i already knew we had in our marriage. Friendship wise it didn't really change anything for me, I never had much of a local meet-up type social life, my friendships have always been mostly online/virtual anyways due to distance.

pattish · 08/04/2022 21:45

DP and I live quite far apart so we didn’t see each other for months. I was worried it wouldn’t be the same when we finally did but it was :)

Some friendships have waned and I am sad about that. Mainly the long distance ones.

The main thing I miss is that no one seems to want to go out any more. When we socialise it’s always at someone’s house. I desperately want to get dressed up and go somewhere!

userxx · 08/04/2022 21:46

@everythingisgoingup

Dh and I are the same Smile

Friendships have waned and no-one seems to care Sad

It is like we have lost the ability to have time for each other!

I've definitely noticed a difference with friendships, my really close group has appeared to have gone in different directions. It makes me very sad.

Original poster
canisay · 08/04/2022 21:47

Interesting how so many are saying it highlighted issues in relationships. For me it felt a bit like looking at things through a microscope and there was no avoiding things that I'd probably been avoiding for a while. And I didn't even have the 24/7 contact as DH had to work throughout!

Family became distant but that is slowly repairing (some anyway).

Friendships have changed. It sort of made me realise who I actually enjoy spending time with as opposed to who I feel like I "should" spend time with. I think people's general social life/patterns have changed too.

OP posts:
Blimeyherewegoagain · 08/04/2022 21:50

DH and I realised we could cope with retirement together.
The family really enjoyed Sunday lunch roasts round the table.
I’ve drifted away from some friends who were, and still are, terrified of Covid

astorsback · 08/04/2022 21:58

Close family and friends remained close and we all seemed to thrive during lockdown due to not working and having so much free time but aquaintances and colleagues have floundered and dont seem bothered about anything any more.

Colleagues especially are struggling with depression and anxiety even though we have an employee assistance programe and are well paid. People are still worried about Covid and also the Ukraine war and cost of living crisis.

A lot of aquaintances cant be bothered to meet up which is sad.

Pyewhacket · 08/04/2022 22:00

@AryaStarkWolf

None really.
Nor me.
astorsback · 08/04/2022 22:01

@pattish

DP and I live quite far apart so we didn’t see each other for months. I was worried it wouldn’t be the same when we finally did but it was :)

Some friendships have waned and I am sad about that. Mainly the long distance ones.

The main thing I miss is that no one seems to want to go out any more. When we socialise it’s always at someone’s house. I desperately want to get dressed up and go somewhere!

This.

I have three lots of visitors due at Easter but nobody wants to go out or meet up outside. It's such a shame. I'm starting to resent hosting constantly.

Mariposista · 08/04/2022 22:08

I realise it has made me much less tolerant. I pick up on other people's selfish behaviour, can't stand them putting themselves first. My mum and I became vaccine volunteers, took care of my gran, and around me I saw the rest of the family prioritising concerts, meet ups with friends, etc over coming to see her when it was allowed again, and this made me/and still does, very bitter. I still love the people around me my can't stand their selfishness.

jesusmaryjosephandtheweedonkey · 08/04/2022 22:26

Dp worked and I was furloughed.
We had evening walks and long weekend brunches.
We have kept this going.

We did the weekly zoom quiz with 6 friends and spoke a couple of times a week on teams.
We all see each other regularly and life long friendships have been made by those that didn't know each other.
I think covid meant people were not putting on a front. If they were down we listened and that support remains between that group now.

AnastasiaRomanov · 08/04/2022 22:54

Not good. Realised one friend is an utter bore. Major fallouts wirh family members due to being cooped up together for too long which have caused long term damage.

Kite22 · 08/04/2022 22:56

In 2020 particularly (we didn't do so well in the 2nd half of 2021) dh and I really reconnected. He started wfh, and all the things we both used to do in the evenings stopped. Initially we were all restricted on the '1 hour of exercise' and we started going for a walk together every day.
It was good.

Family and friends I missed greatly during the times we couldn't see people, but everything is back on track - I can't think of any friendships lost, but I can very much count friends gained from the new road WhatsApp group and all the people who helped each other out, or just 'checked in' on that.

mmmmmmghturep · 08/04/2022 23:29

Attitudes over lockdowns and masks really made me see how many coercively controlling abusers we have in the population.

Mumof3confused · 08/04/2022 23:36

It killed my marriage. We’ve just filed for divorce

IstayedForTheFeminism · 08/04/2022 23:39

I was reminded how truly amazing my teens are.

I realised quite how selfish and hypocritical the rest of my wider family are.

I reconnected with old friends and barely spoke to others. I guess I realised who my 'true' friends were.

Covid put the kibosh on what was potentially developing into a relationship.

Motheranddaughtertotwo · 08/04/2022 23:54

DH proved himself yet again and was my absolute rock, we were fine spending loads of time together too. My family I’m as close as ever too. Friends - I’ve lost a few because those affected by Covid can’t tolerate Covid deniers and vice versa, that’s been a big divide in my world.

SunflowerTed · 09/04/2022 00:10

We loved it. Closer than ever. Cherished all the extra time we got to spend together

Neverreturntoathread · 09/04/2022 00:12

Partner - we’re a little closer and less grumpy with each other because there was a sense of the team needing to pull together. He’s been working from home since Feb 2020 so I see a lot more of him! He also sees much more of DC which is lovely.

The working from home noise does drive me mad tho. And prior to covid I was starting a business that husband working at home has completely killed off. So some resentment/ resignation there.

Wider family - I talk to much less, and feel less close to.

Friends - many drifted away, not wanting to meet up for outdoor walks etc and weren’t bothered about rekindling things. I discovered I was an acquaintance of many but close friend to very few.