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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I went to see a Medium/Clairvoyant

64 replies

Freddie15VES · 07/04/2022 20:48

Long story short - I went with my mum. She had always wanted a reading and wouldn’t have one without me. So I thought f*ck it.

The lady was fairly spot on with some things, but she then proceeded to tell me that I would get divorced, have a separation, can’t have anymore kids, that I should also be checking my partners phone as ‘there’s something he’s not telling me’ and that he lies to me

I am overly paranoid now. Like everything he says or does I think ‘could he be cheating’

This is driving me mad!!!

OP posts:
merryhouse · 07/04/2022 20:59

Did you have any reason not to trust him before?

Psychic readings rely on a lot of things, none of which is seeing into the future or getting messages from spirits. There's a thing called "cold reading" which involves taking note of all the tiny things about your body language and conversation that give out information without you being aware of it. Then there's a reliance on confirmation bias which means you remember the things that the psychic "got right" and don't remember or explain away the things that were inaccurate.

Think of it in the same way you would think of a dream that your partner was unfaithful. The reason is focussed more on you, your thoughts and your fears, than it is on his actions.

Inklingpot · 07/04/2022 21:03

It’s utter bullshit.

I went to one out of curiosity because everyone was raving about how great she was and she just ‘somehow knew’ stuff. The woman constantly asked me questions and it was clear that her ‘predictions’ were based on what she got from me. I was very wary of not answering questions or giving her info but she was clever about it and kept returning to the same question in a different way if I didn’t give her an answer. It was all very conversational, not interrogating at all so it catches you off guard.

They are all charlatans. They can no more ‘see’ your future or your life than a potato can. Don’t be fooled.

PastMyBestBeforeDate · 07/04/2022 21:47

Most women who go to a psychic are going to be there because of a death in the family, love or children. You were with your mum so she probably got the dead female relative, you got the rest.

Original poster
Freddie15VES · 07/04/2022 21:52

@Inklingpot hahahaha the potato comment got me

OP posts:
FlissyPaps · 07/04/2022 22:43

Have you mentioned to your DH what the medium told you?

If so, how did he react?

Spitescreen · 07/04/2022 23:05

The only time I went to see a psychic, I was at a very low ebb and asked whether I would ever live abroad again and whether I would study further. She told me I would not study any more, would stay in my home country, would settle down with my boyfriend, open a little business and have a baby girl within the year. (She clearly thought she was reassuring me, and that this was a lovely future, and that emigrating and studying weren’t much fun.) Within six months, I’d won a major postgrad scholarship to a top overseas university, did two further degrees, and spent the best part of three decades abroad. I never opened a business, and I had a baby boy about fifteen years later.

Juniper68 · 07/04/2022 23:09

No medium/psychic worth their salt would spout that shit. She's dreadful take no notice.

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 07/04/2022 23:09

@Spitescreen

The only time I went to see a psychic, I was at a very low ebb and asked whether I would ever live abroad again and whether I would study further. She told me I would not study any more, would stay in my home country, would settle down with my boyfriend, open a little business and have a baby girl within the year. (She clearly thought she was reassuring me, and that this was a lovely future, and that emigrating and studying weren’t much fun.) Within six months, I’d won a major postgrad scholarship to a top overseas university, did two further degrees, and spent the best part of three decades abroad. I never opened a business, and I had a baby boy about fifteen years later.
I'm still waiting for the minted Frenchman I was promised in 2009.
ArtVandalay · 07/04/2022 23:14

Mediums/psychics/clairvoyants/fortune tellers are without exception, charlatans.

They might be good at reading people or have intuitive skills. But not one of them can tell you your future, past, or anything in between. They prey on the vulnerable and weak.

Everyone should know that it's all bullshit.

TheMoreYouKnow · 07/04/2022 23:15

There was a documentary on TV a few years ago showing how they can get info from you and that the rest is guesswork. People have readings when they're vulnerable and they take advantage of this. Take it all with a pinch of salt. No one can tell the future but I predict that someone on here will be along to tell you everything they were told came true.

Luredbyapomegranate · 07/04/2022 23:20

@FlissyPaps

Have you mentioned to your DH what the medium told you?

If so, how did he react?

Erm, I really wouldn’t do this 😂
EmmaH2022 · 07/04/2022 23:22

Did she ask any questions? That's the mark of a clueless one.

I'd just ignore it anyway.

I have had a couple of readings, one free of charge, that were very good. I think the key thing is they literally asked no questions.

Then I've had a couple of experiences where I've paid, they started asking questions and I walked out of one after asking for money back.

Another one, the lady realised I wpuldn't answer questions, told me a lot of shite, then said "I feel I've let you down. Do you want your money back or do you want a general chat about why you came, and maybe some advice".

I wouldn't go again.

gonnabeok · 07/04/2022 23:28

I saw a medium demonstration once in a large venue. As I was walking out of the venue tge psychic called me back and told me there was something my partner wasnt telling me. 2 months later I caught him cheating after his affair partner sent him a message.

Eatprayrun · 08/04/2022 01:50

If he is cheating it might be so he can find a woman who is less gullible and doesn’t waste her money and time on psychic nonsense?

Pinkbonbon · 08/04/2022 01:52

Amazing how tactless many of these people are. To me it's the sign of a narcissist and a con artist.

I guess there's not necessarily a link between psychic ability and basic human kindness tbf, but still!

I'd say tap into your own intuition and what it tells you. There's no harm in keeping an eye out for certain behaviours moving forwards but don't let someone else's story dictate your life.

FlissyPaps · 08/04/2022 02:17

@Luredbyapomegranate

Erm, I really wouldn’t do this 😂

Why not? I would!

Not in a demanding way but in a lighthearted “omg guess what the medium said”

OP is saying she’s paranoid. If she didn’t have any doubts about her DH she wouldn’t be paranoid over it.

1forAll74 · 08/04/2022 03:10

Did you or your Mum have any small talk with this woman, before she started her reading, or whatever they use. They can pick up on peoples reactions to things, unless you stay silent all the time..

I have never wanted to use these mediums., I think they are a load of tosh talking individuals. But some people find the need to use them, for various reasons in their lives. I don't think that they should just come out with some bad news like this, especially on a first visit to them.

They are supposed to give some kind of comfort to some people, and not making people go home in a worrying state afterwards.

Hawkins001 · 08/04/2022 03:45

If they had abilities, chances are they would be with the intelligence services

Valencebalance · 08/04/2022 04:05

I wouldn’t believe the psychic unless you had some other (actual) evidence of an affair.

As an aside, this would actually make a great book. Woman goes to psychic who tells her all this bad stuff including that her husband is having an affair. Turns out the psychic is having an affair with the husband and wants the wife to dump him so he’ll be with her. It’s a bit Jane fallon-y.

The fact it would make a good book just shows you how much attention you should pay to it!

BlueSlate · 08/04/2022 05:08

OP, I'd think nothing more of it. I did similar with my MIL years ago. I'm autistic and don't give much away in terms of body language and don't say much either. The email got quite cross with me and said I was making it difficult for her because I didn't 'give' her anything.

There will have been something in your reaction that she picked on as being 'onto something' and she ran with it.

Freddy12 · 08/04/2022 05:54

Total load of shit
They know most people are there because they have lost someone or some drama in their life’s so the cold read well, look for reactions and home in on vulnerable people
Seriously spend the money on a night in the pub with a friend!

Circumferences · 08/04/2022 06:51

I'm really upset on your behalf that you were told such a load of horseshit. It was so irresponsible of her to say any of that. Even a close friend who had real reason to suspect your husband would have more tact than that!
please come back to this thread if it turns out to be true

What did the woman say to your mum?

spotcheck · 08/04/2022 07:03

@Juniper68

No medium/psychic worth their salt would spout that shit. She's dreadful take no notice.
👆👆👆👆
Namechangedfeb22 · 08/04/2022 07:07

I have had readings in the past, never have the ever told me anything bad like that. A reading should be viewed and taken as entertainment, a bit of fun, with same seriousness as reading star signs (not much). Treat is as fiction. Try to forget about it.

GregBrawlsInDogJail · 08/04/2022 07:18

@gonnabeok

I saw a medium demonstration once in a large venue. As I was walking out of the venue tge psychic called me back and told me there was something my partner wasnt telling me. 2 months later I caught him cheating after his affair partner sent him a message.
You could literally say that to any adult. Most adults have "something they aren't telling" their partner, usually something fairly innocuous. It's basically a Barnum statement, but it makes people go "ooooooo" and fairly frequently, out of sheer chance, she'll hit the common situation where a partner is not telling something less innocuous.

If she'd said "your partner is cheating with a woman called Jane, it began on June 20th, they're together at the Birmingham Novotel right now", that might be something to write home about.

Psychics are cold readers and con(wo)men. There is no secret whatsoever in how they do what they do. Derren Brown will explain it all to you if you want to know.