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Original poster

I'm the most boring person ever

90 replies

wingingit33 · 05/04/2022 20:38

I literally have no interests. At all. My husband and I have nothing in common I'm amazed we've lasted a decade. But it's not so much the lack of anything in common, I lack interest in everything. No - I'm not depressed!! I hate sport, nights out, I don't drink, hate cooking, not into music, rarely travel, no desire to learn a new language, instrument etc. My life is very dull - but I'm ok with that. Fine in fact. Is anyone else boring too? Dh and I don't do anything together but it's always been this way. In fact, he likes all the above which I dont. What am I missing?

OP posts:

AnastasiaRomanov · 06/04/2022 08:33

@Ragwort

Do you like doing things with your DC? Do you take the dog for walks?

It's generally fine not to have any hobbies but are you sure you will be happy when your DC leave home? I am in my early 60s and do know a few people who have zero hobbies or interests but seem very unhappy now that their DC have left home and they spend their time wondering when they will next see them & putting pressure on their adult DC to fulfill their own needs ....they don't seem happy to me, just bored and lonely as they've never made any friends of their own.

Just read this. Exactly what I was trying to say.

PurpleHollyhocks · 06/04/2022 08:36

@AnastasiaRomanov Sadly I saw this with my own mother. She was always busy with kids and her job but never took up an interest - not even walking with friends. She then looked after grandchildren but when they outgrew this she had nothing. The more time alone she spent, the more lonely and angry she became.
With a busy job and children many of us would prefer to just potter and flop but we need to keep up interests into old age/ retirement. Otherwise we are all overly reliant on our families keeping us busy and grown children with their kids and teens just won’t have the time for us beyond a couple of visits a weeks (if they live close by) and that’s totally normal

Petronus · 06/04/2022 08:45

[quote PurpleHollyhocks]@AnastasiaRomanov Sadly I saw this with my own mother. She was always busy with kids and her job but never took up an interest - not even walking with friends. She then looked after grandchildren but when they outgrew this she had nothing. The more time alone she spent, the more lonely and angry she became.
With a busy job and children many of us would prefer to just potter and flop but we need to keep up interests into old age/ retirement. Otherwise we are all overly reliant on our families keeping us busy and grown children with their kids and teens just won’t have the time for us beyond a couple of visits a weeks (if they live close by) and that’s totally normal[/quote]
I’m not sure about this. My own mum had a full on job and kids, then retired and has accelerated into old age with hobbies and friends. She didn’t do much when she was younger because work was so consuming, so I don’t think it’s something you have to maintain over the years - it’s never too late to start.

Kiitos · 06/04/2022 08:48

@AnastasiaRomanov has hit the nail on the head. Making your children the only thing in your life will become a HUGE burden for them in the future. I speak as one such child.
And I know this is controversial on here but I find it sad when people don’t seem concerned about not having any friends. You might need them one day

PurpleHollyhocks · 06/04/2022 08:49

@Petronus I absolutely agree, BUT only if you are the kind of person inclined to do this. My mother and I are not and as you get older you are naturally inclined to try less new things anyway and that outlook coupled with an inclination to potter, can lead to a lonely old age.
It’s great your DM had the get up and go to grab life, but not everyone has and we need to build those habits up over years

PurpleHollyhocks · 06/04/2022 08:50

I should say also my own MIL also devoted herself to family and enjoyed pottering but she took up bridge and walking as she got older to fill the gaps

Sundancerintherain · 06/04/2022 08:54

I'm early 50s and have many more interests now than 20 years ago when I was in the child raising phase.

beastlyslumber · 06/04/2022 08:58

Sorry, OP, you do sound very boring to me. We only get one life (as far as we know!) and the chances of you being alive here now are so insanely tiny that your existence is an ACTUAL MIRACLE.

Don't you want to explore as much as life as you can while you're here? Don't you want to feel some of the extremes that come with being human, or experience some of the possibilities? Wouldn't it be wild to see what you, as an individual, can learn, do, achieve, fail at, while you're here?

I guess the other way of looking at it is that you're an NPC - a non-player character. You exist for background purposes, but have no soul or mind of your own. If we are indeed living in a simulation, then maybe this is you. I find that kind of a creepy thought, but I guess you don't!

PurpleHollyhocks · 06/04/2022 09:00

@beastlyslumber Ah come on. That’s a bit much, we all can’t be Dora the Explorer now can we

Vegansausageroll · 06/04/2022 09:01

You mention you have a dog, do you enjoy getting out and going on lovely walks? Dog walking is a great and healthy activity.

Swayingpalmtrees · 06/04/2022 09:09

The fact you are boring is fine, what is not fine is your dh is now bothered by it.

Why has he changed?
You have been the same for decades.

Do you think he has just woken up to what a non life he has with you? Or that he has found something more exciting elsewhere? Or a mid life crisis?

I don't think it matters one jot if you are happy as you are, but I would want to know the reason why my dh was suddenly troubled by it.

Swayingpalmtrees · 06/04/2022 09:12

I think you should reframe the word 'boring' to 'easy satisfied by every day life' or a supporter of a simple life. Boring is a negative term, and may damage your self esteem. 'Socially free' or 'independent' might be better terms for not needing a social life and friends.

I know people like you and they are very content I have to say! :)

beastlyslumber · 06/04/2022 09:13

[quote PurpleHollyhocks]@beastlyslumber Ah come on. That’s a bit much, we all can’t be Dora the Explorer now can we[/quote]
Well you do only get one life, and it is an actual miracle to be here at all. Not only that, but to be alive in a time and place where you can live in freedom and luxury. It seems to me a waste to not do ANYTHING with all that. No, you don't have to be Dora the Explorer, but what about music, art, and literature? What about growing some houseplants, looking at the stars, bird watching, dancing, making something beautiful? There are literally thousands of meaningful and awe-inspiring things a human can do with their time.

5329871e · 06/04/2022 09:16

I suppose you do sound boring, OP, and I sympathise with your DH for feeling frustrated. I’d hate it if my DH had no interests. On the other hand, you could still be a good person and it’s your right to decide how to spend your time.

MrsWinters · 06/04/2022 09:17

I love dog walking- but if you feel like your missing something why not try something with the dog- mantrailing, hoopers, scent work all look fun and you could take turns doing it with the kids?

ConfusedByDesign · 06/04/2022 09:24

It does sound pretty dull for your dh that you go to bed at 8.30 every night. Do you and your dh spend any time together?
I love @beastlyslumber’s posts. If you’re an interesting person, you can find lots of things interesting.

BikiniB0tt0m · 06/04/2022 09:28

@beastlyslumber

Sorry, OP, you do sound very boring to me. We only get one life (as far as we know!) and the chances of you being alive here now are so insanely tiny that your existence is an ACTUAL MIRACLE.

Haha oh come on that's a bit harsh 😂 no soul or mind! NPC? Did you watch Jumanji last night (the modern one) Op maybe have a think about what you liked as a teen or child before you had responsibilities perhaps? I use to love playing outside with friends/drawing I also use to love taking things apart and trying to fix them. So I took that as now in my adult life being out and meeting friends. Like walks and the beach, holidays and exploring new places and today I like DIY and fixing things. You have a dog, do you like animals? I'm also much more of a spring/summer person and tend to go more boring in the winter months where I tend to semi hibernate. Although I would like to take up drawing again..so I'm planning to next winter

Whyaskwhenyoudontwanttheanswer · 06/04/2022 09:29

@MardyOldGoth

I'm really boring. I just watch TV, listen to audiobooks and faff around on the Internet.

Same. My world is very small. I’m quite happy like that, but sometimes wonder if my neighbours think I’m a weirdo for never going anywhere beyond work and back.

beastlyslumber · 06/04/2022 09:31

Apologies, my NPC comment came over a bit unkind. I was joking but was probably too harsh. I don't genuinely think you don't have a soul or mind, OP. But I do think you should do something with what you've got!

AnastasiaRomanov · 06/04/2022 09:34

The other point to make is that if you don't build friendships over your life, by the time you retire it is very hard to start building a friendship network from scratch. If you have a partner, and one person dies, the other is going to be left very lonely indeed with no friends, no hobbies or interests.
OP if you go to bed at 8.30 you effectively spend no time with your husband without the kids. No wonder he is fed up. Do you go out as a family at weekends?

Pegasushaswings · 06/04/2022 09:34

A different way of looking at it is to ask ‘what makes you feel content?’ I have interests like live music, dancing and a scene I’m on, I wouldn’t call them hobbies as such. I feel content when I get to potter around at home, sitting watching Netflix with a glass of wine, eating a nice meal, none of which are hobbies but make me glad to have them.

FlyingUnicornWings · 06/04/2022 09:47

@Giveitall

I’m not dissimilar! I’m happy in my own skin. I like being outdoors, doing a bit of weeding maybe but not gardening too much. I think there’s too much pressure on everyone these days to perform, keep up, have this,that, and the other. Me? I’m just happy bobbing along without too many external influences. I’m with OP. Plodders rule the world!

Yes! Too much pressure to fill days with doing anything and everything. I’m a happy sloth. Plodding rules!

5329871e · 06/04/2022 10:16

I personally don’t think that audiobooks/TV/housework is boring. But it sounds like the OP isn’t even taking pleasure in those simple things.

Original poster

wingingit33 · 06/04/2022 10:36

I have a newborn baby. Of course I'm shattered! But even before baby was born (no 3) I always went to bed early. And yes that's how my husband and I have been forever - ships in the night. He goes to bed after midnight and sleeps in, I go to bed early and get up early. No we rarely rarely do anything just two of us even pre pregnancy. Been together ten years and had two weekends away alone in that time, never had a honeymoon, always been extreme opposite of introvert/extrovert.

OP posts:

MrsSkylerWhite · 06/04/2022 10:39

If you go to bed at 8.30, does your husband sit up on his own all evening?

I think that would get me down a bit too, if I were him.

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