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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I'm the most boring person ever

90 replies

wingingit33 · 05/04/2022 20:38

I literally have no interests. At all. My husband and I have nothing in common I'm amazed we've lasted a decade. But it's not so much the lack of anything in common, I lack interest in everything. No - I'm not depressed!! I hate sport, nights out, I don't drink, hate cooking, not into music, rarely travel, no desire to learn a new language, instrument etc. My life is very dull - but I'm ok with that. Fine in fact. Is anyone else boring too? Dh and I don't do anything together but it's always been this way. In fact, he likes all the above which I dont. What am I missing?

OP posts:
Sonaftersonafterson · 05/04/2022 23:34

I'm similar. I don't "love" to do anything really! I enjoy some things, happy with life but like to potter, quietly. I'm not all that social and stopped saying 'yes' to nights out that I knew I wouldn't enjoy. Home for me. Smile.

Be who you are and do what you want. Dont compare to others, especially on social media, as you know that is not a true reflection of a person's life. Just the good bits they want you to see.

Seriously, not an issue.

Nat94 · 05/04/2022 23:47

You just sound stuck in your ways. Get out your comfort zone and try new things. Don't even worry about hobbies but maybe even just start small and try and do something new once a month with your husband like a restaurant you've always wanted to try or a day trip somewhere you've always wanted to go or book a holiday somewhere... anything really to get you out of this slump. Sounds miserable to be honest and i think you will be a lot happier if you try and be a bit more social.

mrsfollowill · 06/04/2022 00:02

Don't you like listening to any music/watching films at all? What about reading? I am quite a quiet person but love these. I like going out now and then and enjoy meals out- can't imagine having zero interests. If you and DH are happy with this then fair enough- how did you meet him though and what were your dating days like Grin

AnastasiaRomanov · 06/04/2022 03:14

That’s fine but what do you talk about to your husband? Do you have any friends?

1forAll74 · 06/04/2022 03:50

I think that everyone needs some interests in a few things, even a few small things. It keeps your brain ticking over to do some pleasurable things. I am an oldie, and I have to be doing stuff that I enjoy all the time, or else I would go a bit brain dead I am sure..

DreamTheMoors · 06/04/2022 04:21

@Someonemustknowtheanswer
Sorry. Didn’t mean to be Debbie Downer.

@FlissyPaps
Yup. And then he left me, her parents signed off, I’m guessing because he’s quite wealthy and they could marry her off.
But that’s a guess. We aren’t really pen pals.

DreamTheMoors · 06/04/2022 04:24

@WhoAre

Evidently. 😂

MummyInTheNecropolis · 06/04/2022 04:32

I’m very similar OP. I have a job that takes over my life, I absolutely love it but it doesn’t leave me much time or energy for anything else. I spend my free time watching tv or listening to podcasts, occasionally read a book. I go for a meal and/or drinks with friends about once every 2 months and that’s plenty for me!

WTF475878237NC · 06/04/2022 04:33

You have one interest - Mumsnet, at least.

autienotnaughty · 06/04/2022 05:16

I like reading, crossword, dancing, quizzes , yoga. Probably a bit boring. Just curious what do you when works done n kids are in bed/entertained?

Original poster
wingingit33 · 06/04/2022 05:58

@autienotnaughty I go to bed early, around 8.30 after the kids are in bed as Im an early riser.

OP posts:
whatwasIgoingtosay · 06/04/2022 06:33

You sound like my SIL, except she doesn't like dogs. She seems happy, but I often wonder what she does with herself all day, now that the children have left home and she's retired. It's interesting to see other PPs saying that they also have 'boring' but happy lives. Mine is over-full with commitments and I find it very stressful, even though it is interesting.

5329871e · 06/04/2022 06:38

[quote wingingit33]@autienotnaughty I go to bed early, around 8.30 after the kids are in bed as Im an early riser. [/quote]
When do you do when you rise early then?
Or do you have a really hectic job and no spare time?

MrsTerryPratchett · 06/04/2022 06:39

Do you just power down and stare at the wall in between jobs? I mean, you fill your time with something.

5329871e · 06/04/2022 06:42

I think you need to be interested in some stuff, otherwise it’s suggestive of depression (anhedonia) even though you say it’s not. If you just enjoy a simple home life, then you could say your interests are cooking, cleaning, kids, gardening maybe - all perfectly valid. If you spend your time browsing online, then your interests would be whatever you’re browsing. Everyone who’s alive has interests. Unless you’re literally sitting in a catatonic state not doing anything.

Ragwort · 06/04/2022 06:53

Do you like doing things with your DC?
Do you take the dog for walks?

It's generally fine not to have any hobbies but are you sure you will be happy when your DC leave home? I am in my early 60s and do know a few people who have zero hobbies or interests but seem very unhappy now that their DC have left home and they spend their time wondering when they will next see them & putting pressure on their adult DC to fulfill their own needs ....they don't seem happy to me, just bored and lonely as they've never made any friends of their own.

cafenoirbiscuit · 06/04/2022 06:54

If it ain’t broke, why fix it?

AnybodyAnywhere · 06/04/2022 07:01

My DH doesn’t have any enthusiasms really. He’s not greatly interested in anything much. He seems almost detached from the world. If I occasionally do manage to drag him out to see a band he might like he just sits there looking bored while everyone else is on their feet having a good time.

He’s only really interested in anything that directly affects him.

I’m the opposite so I just get on with life either with friends or by myself. I go to lots of gigs and festivals, hike with The Ramblers and prefer being out of the house.

We long ago accepted that we’re just different and are quite happy for each to be who they are.

Original poster
wingingit33 · 06/04/2022 07:01

@cafenoirbiscuit I think this sums it up really I was just wondering if others were like me.

To others who mentioned home stuff, I don't enjoy cooking or cleaning( I do it because like all of us, it's necessary. They're not hobbies!

I don't watch films I just fall asleep, occasional tv but nothing I watch routinely. No real friends but acquaintances to WhatsApp. Stressful part time job but currently on maternity leave.

No I'm not depressed; I've always been like this. Husband has never known differently since we met though more recently it's started to bother him.

OP posts:
Obelisk · 06/04/2022 07:01

What do you do when you get up early? You must fill your life with something. I wonder whether you just don’t classify your interests as interests because they don’t feel like Hobbies with a capital H…but walking the dog, spending time with family, pottering at home or online- it all counts.

PurpleHollyhocks · 06/04/2022 07:05

I am naturally like you OP but I have forced myself to take up tennis. Outside work, I love to potter and walk the dog. I devote a huge amount of time to my home and children and it’s dawned on me that this might not be good when they leave home so I have broadened my world.

Tennis and book club can seem like a chore but I see them as investments in my future when my days won’t be so busy

CurlyBurley · 06/04/2022 07:13

I occasionally go out for meals with my OH but other than that I prefer to be in reading or watching tv. I'm not on social media as I have nothing interesting to post! I get joy from living a simple life though. I have a job, partner, child. My OH is quiet and likes pottering about with cars and DIY. We are well matched and happy.

Jenjen26 · 06/04/2022 07:21

I'm like this but I have depression anxiety and hypothyroidism so I'm either working or sleeping I have no energy or motivation to do anything

LosingMyPancakes · 06/04/2022 08:24

I'm slightly confused - you work part time but not even at the moment. You say you don't really watch TV either. What do you do all day?

Given you go to bed early, I would say it's concerning that you don't have anything on all day and struggle to stay awake to watch TV. I think depression is a high possibility.

AnastasiaRomanov · 06/04/2022 08:30

@PurpleHollyhocks

I am naturally like you OP but I have forced myself to take up tennis. Outside work, I love to potter and walk the dog. I devote a huge amount of time to my home and children and it’s dawned on me that this might not be good when they leave home so I have broadened my world.

Tennis and book club can seem like a chore but I see them as investments in my future when my days won’t be so busy

I think this is very wise. I have two friends who are completely devastated by their adult children not needing them much now. They are both divorced and on low incomes. They have no hobbies or interests and one lives off her ex husband and benefits, the other gave up her job during lockdown. They both stay home all day and are absolutely miserable. Their whole world centres on their children, who find them a burden and avoid them, thus perpetuating the isolation and depression for their mothers. It’s so important to have hobbies interests and a life outside the home.
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