Ick for husband

[Jenn500]

I am in a predicament with my relationship. My husband gives me the ick a lot. The language he uses, his facial expressions, the way he eats etc. When he gets home from work I always get the ick feeling and it makes me feel angry at him, but obviously I can't just start an argument so I have to like repress it! We don't spend our evenings together as have separate interests, but because of the ick I don't feel like I want to try and spend more time together.

However when I'm around him for a longer period of time like weekends, I tend to become more relaxed and confident around him, I also think his behaviour gets more relaxed and abit less icky. We have two young kids and I tend to prefer having his help than being alone, there's definitely benefits to being a family. I sometimes wonder if my mood effects how much ick I feel for him and if I could make myself happier in other areas of my life I would accept him more?
It's this constant weekly cycle I've had with him for years. By Sunday I feel content, but then Monday its the ick again!
If we didn't have kids I would have probably split up, but now i feel like they come first and there is many benefits to staying together

Does anyone else have this in long term relationship? Should we split?

Meant to be in reply to @GeneLovesJezebel

Totally agree with @SunshinePie. My exH was a pretty self absorbed person before we had children but I had feelings and intimacy with him. The moment I got pregnant his selfishness really kicked in and I developed feelings of complete revulsion and disgust towards him. It never got any better because he refused to discuss anything until I worked up the courage to leave. Cue a sudden interest in marriage counselling and although I had checked out by then I did notice my feelings starting to soften towards him again. Until he pulled a major manipulation in one of the sessions and the feelings of disgust came right back. It was years of unresolved anger and resentment.

Perhaps you need to tackle what is really driving this if you want to stay in the marriage? Book some sessions with Relate?

For some reason I had this with my husband when my kids were small. The feeling went away when they grew older. I have no idea why.

@TheRealityCheque

Listen to yourselves - "The ick"?

Are you all 12? Pathetic.

Always one

Leave him, and stop using phrases like The Ick as a grown woman.

@PatsyClinSilVousPlait

Leave him, and stop using phrases like The Ick as a grown woman.

@PatsyClinSilVousPlait So what would you recommend as a useful shorthand way of describing the feeling of losing all desire for one's husband and consequently being irritated and/or disgusted by them?

Ick, ick, ick. If you don’t like it, don’t click on it when it says Ick in the title.

Normally I'd advise a poster talking about 'the ick' to leave and let their husband find someone who actually liked them.

But in your case I'd go for some therapy or counselling. There's a chance it's actually something else either within your relationship or just within your own past/current life, and it's manifesting itself in a feeling of irritation with your husband. The fact your feelings recede after spending time with him is unusual and worth investigating professionally. Good luck

Just seeing how this worked out for everyone? In a similar position - had premarital ick that's just got worse and worse. Hanging in for the kids and the stability of the family and trying to see it as a coparenting/room mate type arrangement - whilst remaining ever hopeful!