So, I’ve been seeing someone I met on tinder for 3 months.
It progressed very quickly as we are very sexually attracted.
Back story is that this is my first relationship/dating since a long term abusive relationship which has left me with a variety of hang ups whcih ive been open about. He has his own insecurities having been cheated on.
Throughout, he has openly wanted to DTR as a relationship but done His best to be patient, however several times when I’ve not responded/seemed to have disappeared, he has jumped to the conclusion that I’m out with another guy, and the jumped to its best to walk away.
Alongside this, my fear of intimacy/hang ups have meant that despite him being incredibly complimentary, I simply couldn’t say how I felt or tell him I words that I like him. I just clam up verbally.
I went on a pre organised holiday a couple of weeks ago and the plan for hi. To pick me up got cancelled when he developed a cold sore. God knows why it became this big issue about me not catching it 🤦♀️🤷♀️ But we didn’t see each other the week after which clearly triggered his anxieties to the point he thought I was making excuses not to see him.
On the Friday night, I fell asleep mid text to him around 730, and woke in daze around 1130pm to find 9 missed calls and a message saying i must be out with someone else and to forget our date on sat.
I did explain but he was very sceptical about the truth because of the time. For that point on, he responded to texts/calls but evaded meeting or made excuses.
Up to last weds- I sent him a couple of messages explaining my feelings and asked him not to give up on me/us.
He replied that I was putting him under pressure, that he needed time to think about us now, if I’d been like it weeks ago wouldn’t be where we are now. It’s all getting too much and I felt a bit forced. And that he was going to take some time to think about us and where it’s going so please give him space as he was feeling suffocated.
Naturally this sent me into a spin. I offloaded a number of messages that night telling him how I felt.
He sent a goodnight xx the next night.
Since then I’ve sent a goodnight messages or gif and he responds with a blowing kiss face emoji.
I know my fears and hang ups make me difficult and that I’ve give him the impression I’m not bothered by not really saying how I feel. He isn’t blameless either though by always having one foot out of the door/saying we should end it and repeatedly jumping to the conclusion that I’m seeing someone else.
I do really really like him. I know he really liked me.
How do we repair things if he wants space?
How long should I give him?
Does space mean walking away and ending things without having to do it face to face?