divorce, finances and children

[Humminglikeabee]

I have been going through a tough journey for more than 2 years. My husband and I had issues and had to report to police that got him arrested eventually no action being taken by police. I have two children and ever since he got arrested he has been declining to pay private fees as both of them are in private schools. He left family home voluntarily after his arrest but paying the full mortgage and bills. Now he has applied for divorce and refusing to pay fees and asking me to pay half of what he is paying for mortgage and other bills. I work and look after the children. I refused for him to see the children for the past two years until he pay fees. Now I agreed for mediation as he sent me legal notices for children arrangements along with divorce petition which I did not acknowledge or reply. I am single handedly paying private schools.
We both have properties here and abroad almost equal worth.

My questions:

1. Can I refuse, in mediations, for him to contact the children (8 and 12 years age) until he agrees to pay private school fees as he is still having job and earning better money than me despite the police case?

1. Can I ask for substantial share in his properties in addition to mine as I look after the children ?

1. Can I also ask a share in his earnings since he left the matrimonial home as I am looking after the children despite I earn?

1. Can I refuse divorce until he succumbs to the demands?

Any help would be appreciated.

Thanks

There doesn’t need to be a criminal conviction, the family court can make its own findings of fact if relevant to a decision. They would need evidence. Your lawyer should advise you as will very much depend on circumstances

@Mia85

There doesn’t need to be a criminal conviction, the family court can make its own findings of fact if relevant to a decision. They would need evidence. Your lawyer should advise you as will very much depend on circumstances

thanks, I have no evidence except that my older one can say something...

I have no evidence except that my older one can say something

Unless they were actually a witness in the moment, that seems likely only to strengthen the case against you for alienation.

Bloody hell

Good luck in court OP - the judge will likely not look favourably on you preventing contact between your (at the time) 6 yo and their father for financial reasons.

Wtf were you thinking!

If he has mentioned the incident with the police in the divorce then it will be brought up anyway. It looks like he will use that as evidence of alienation and unreasonable behaviour.

@LemonTT

If he has mentioned the incident with the police in the divorce then it will be brought up anyway. It looks like he will use that as evidence of alienation and unreasonable behaviour.

Yes, I am definitely not suggesting she should raise it. She should take her solicitor’s advice as it will very much depend on the facts

OP I'm sorry you have been going through such a hard time.

It sounds like your DH has been behaving pretty badly towards you and the children.

I'd advise you to try and take a step back and play the game as per your solicitor's advice. I'm sure this is way easier said than done and maybe some counselling might be supportive.

It's highly unlikely that a 15 year old would have to see their dad against their wishes but the sadly the 8 year old is unlikely to have much choice.

I'm not sure what your motivation is for delaying the divorce, is this the best way forward?

@Snog

OP I'm sorry you have been going through such a hard time.

It sounds like your DH has been behaving pretty badly towards you and the children.

I'd advise you to try and take a step back and play the game as per your solicitor's advice. I'm sure this is way easier said than done and maybe some counselling might be supportive.

It's highly unlikely that a 15 year old would have to see their dad against their wishes but the sadly the 8 year old is unlikely to have much choice.

I'm not sure what your motivation is for delaying the divorce, is this the best way forward?

Thank you. I want to see if things become better between.

Hello after a stressful time my marriage has broken down and I have filed for a divorce. We have a house together, We have a 2 year old daughter and we are still living in the same house. My husband has a 7 year old child from his previous relationship who also lives with us. Who will have priority over the house as we both have a child each.

Women like you make me feel disgusted

Genuinely can’t see him having to

lay for private education AND CMS AND Spousal support AND/OR you getting 75% of his business AND a bigger share of property, when you both have similar wealth.

Since you are in very similar financial positions it’s more likely you would be expected to pay equally to the school.

He could simply pay 24k per year to the school instead, while you fuck around contesting a divorce that you need to get the finances sorted. Would that make you happy?

No divorce court is going to make him give up his 75% of his company and huge chunks of assets, where his income comes, from and impose him paying all your bills & private school when you are just as wealthy.

and since you are contesting the divorce for no other reason than to cause problems and are refusing mediation, ignored the paperwork etc I doubt he will have to pay your costs.

I can not fathom why you would contest it, regardless of the reason he has put. You need the divorce to sort all this out and then you will know exactly what’s what. You are dragging this out when a divorce would solve these problems

Op can claim it’s due to the DV or that the kids don’t want to see him.

But her op clearly says she won’t allow him to see them until he pays the school fees in full and the runnings costs of the home.

@Rabinka , you need to start your own thread, so you can get replies that are appropriate to your situation. Its really straightforward- just click on the Start Thread button.

Absolutely disgusting. You should be ashamed of yourself

You have a good job. Get proper legal advice. Then let your dc see their father if it is safe for them to do so. Jesus.